|Reviews for Mental Holiday|
| opalscrystalarrow chapter 1 . 5/1/2015
I'm replaying Tales of Symphonia right now. I'm so happy that you've taken time to flesh out the relationship between Sheena and Zelos! I always thought it was a shame that their dynamic never really got a chance to get fleshed out (and Sheena had to be relegated to not-so-subtly liking "untouchable Lloyd," haha).
I love the complexity you've brought out of Zelos's character. It takes a lot of talent to weave the bits we got from the game and really use them to build a relatable character. When I was playing the first time, I never really liked Zelos because he seemed wishy-washy! Now that you broke down some of his motivations, he has become as three-dimensional as the rest of the cast. Thank you for instilling love for this underappreciated character in me!
I will definitely be reading the rest of your series to see how Sheena's side of this story is fleshed-out! _
Just some subtle critiques:
a) This is just nitpicking, but some of the paragraphs were quite lengthy. Sometimes, I felt myself losing the main point of the paragraph as I read because a new idea would pop up midway through.
b) Repetition. Maybe this was for dramatic effect/tension, but sometimes it was a bit overdone. For example, the repeated reference to the nobles and the grandeur and how it sickens Zelos. Instead of just repeating it, there could have been images that went with that disgust. Zelos's feelings towards the slums, etc.
c) Spelling-out. One side of me likes that the characters' thoughts and actions are explicit, but another part of me wants some of the ideas to involve a little guesswork. As readers, for example, we know that "a clenched fist and a tightening jaw" mean anger.
All in all, I LOVED this Sheelos story! I'll be kind of blowing up your inbox over the next few hours as I plow through the rest of the series.
| Pear Holiday chapter 1 . 5/11/2014
I can't even begin to describe how much I loved reading the story. Your character analyses were impeccable, and your writing was delightful. I'll definitely be reading the rest of the series. Amazing work!
| sayume214 chapter 1 . 5/5/2014
The length alone is impressive, but the concept, I gotta give it to you, is really good. This intensity of the scenes and the sweetness makes me want to smile senseless.
I haven't seen much of ToS, so I don't know if my grasp on Sheena's and Zelos's personalities is right, for I admit some things felt a bit different from how I think of them. I still really liked it; it felt POSSIBLE. It was well thought-out.
Honestly, I feel this could have been slightly shorter because some paragraphs were too explicit; we can infer a few of those things you bothered to include in the descriptions. Some were repetitive too, like the constant remembrance of nobility's superficiality and the ugliness of politics. Overall, however, it was a pleasurable read.
| ZephyrPhoenix chapter 1 . 3/16/2012
such a cute story. i love sheelos, its too adorable for words.
| SkywardQuill chapter 1 . 12/23/2011
You know, I don't usually review any fanfiction in English, because, though I can read it, my English sucks. But I really wanted to review this one, because it surely is the best Sheelos fanfic I ever read.
I won't critic it, mainly 'cause I'm not really good at criticism, especially in English, and many people have already done it. So, I comment just to say that I really, really did enjoy this. Thanks. Now, I'm gonna read the others.
| Phoebiie chapter 1 . 12/22/2011
Splendid work! Awwww, never think i could have a chance to see Zelos this serious and attractive because he always acts like a total jerk lol.
Thanks for writing such a wonderful story :D
| XSuicuneX chapter 1 . 8/8/2011
Alright, I spent quite a couple of weeks working on this entire series and I didn't get around to reviewing a single one because half the time when I was done with one it was too late to form a coherant sentence. XD
I loved this one the best out of all of them. It's just how we get to peek at what's behind Zelos' mask, and get too see how Sheena reacts to it. Plus I love their interactions. Nothing really happenes throughout your entire story, nothing descriptive at any rate, but you can just feel the tension between them.
Personally I relate to Zelos and his way of thinking, always plan ahead, never be too quick if it's important. Sheena's adorable too, though sometimes it felt like she was a bit more along the lines of 'steriotypical woman in love' but then again, she's not always kickass. She's quite girly now and again, (especially when she's around Lloyd. XD Zelos seems like way more fun if you ask me) and you certainly kept up the banter pretty well. I love their banter, so much fun.
Aaaaaaanyways, I know it's been like...a few years since you wrote this, but I figiured after seeing you're alerting my erm...smutty story I thought to myself "Y'know what 'cune? You should review and fav. that story you just spent two weeks reading." So I did.
| Khlois Amorette chapter 1 . 7/18/2011
I cannot say anything else but...
I love how you portrayed 'real zelos' and sheena's couple dynamic so awesomely. Keep up the awesome work~
| Sylmarien chapter 1 . 6/29/2011
I honestly don't know what to say. That was just amazing, the best sheelos fic I've ever read period and the best actual fic I've read in a long long time. I can't believe how well you wrote sheena and zelos, everything was so well thought out, like a character study, all their reactions were believable and then end was so romantic and heartwarming it made me grin while sending chills down my spine. I think i'll just go read it again, :)
| TehDono chapter 1 . 6/6/2011
So, there are few fanfics that I've ever curled up in my room in silence to read. Two at most... This has officially become number 3. Normally I'd write a page-long review about every little thing I loved about it, but... I just can't bring myself to do it. I love everything. I love your interpretation of Zelos, I love how in character you were with Zelos. I have never read a fanfic that made my heart ache as much as this one has, yet gave me that same goofy grin.
Best Sheelos fanficion, ever.
| DiamondsFallingDown chapter 1 . 6/3/2011
I have read a lot of Sheelos fanfics since they are my favorite pairing. Your ability to characterize both of their serious sides is pretty dead on. I read it straight through and now I'm exhausted because I should have went to sleep hours ago. :P I can say it was worth it. I plan on reading the other installments of your story as well because you write wonderfully. I have a tendency to read a lot, but nothing satisfies my cravings on pairings. You did Sheelos a great justice. ;D Thanks for writing this.
| Rayni chapter 1 . 4/4/2011
I read this story a long time ago, and when I saw your new works I knew I had to go back and read this again.
I agree with the other reviewers-characterization here is fantastic. You have their voices so down-pat that often I can hear the actors saying the words in my head! That's how well I feel that the words you chose fit into their mouths.
I started reading your latest one before coming back to this one, and you've improved a lot! The only reason I wouldn't add this story to my favorites or recommend it to my Tales-loving friends is that your descriptive style in this fic needs work. There's redundancy, with characters saying or doing the same thing over and over, and that becomes tiring. As well, the characters are sometimes a little dumber in this fic than I think they are; by the end of the journey, everyone has matured so much. I don't think Sheena is going to be *that* preoccupied, by this point, with thinking Zelos wants sex from her. I give both of them more credit than that.
But besides these foibles, I thought this was a great fic, and is certainly the way I like to think things happened after the game ended. ;) I'm looking forward to reading the rest of your stories!
| Anonymous chapter 1 . 1/13/2011
wow... this was absolutely amazing. I read all three stories after this and i have to say they were all simply beautiful. I'll go and say it right now that i'm a sucker for romance plots (doesn't hurt that i love ToS) but this definitely has merit on its own. Sometimes it does get a little wordy, but i do agree with you that Zelos would think about everything long and hard before he did anything, so it's realistic. I might have cut it down a little though. However, there was no actual fluffiness unless it was needed, which i really appreciated. What i like most was that its an actual story, not a stupid one-shot. The love is real, and its not afraid to make itself known and that is really important in my opinion. Great job on the whole :)
| Ehsabet chapter 1 . 7/26/2010
I must say that English is not my natural language (I speak Spanish XD) but sometimes I read fics in english because there are few in Spanish TwT (and I know enough to read it XD). I love this history no only because Zelos is my favorite charater (I never have kill him and I think I never will) but is also very well written. I wish read all the seven parts (please no leave it)
PD: my english sucks i know sorry for that XD
| Marthick chapter 1 . 3/10/2010
*blinks* Wow. I first read this back when it first came out, but I hadn't had the chance to review it. This story somehow stuck in my mind after I first read it, and it still surprises me how satisfying of a read it is.
I generally don't like romance in my fanfiction, but the characterization, the plot, and your style of writing has made this fic one of my favorite fanfics of all time. I'm even struggling to think of something constructive to say.
Sometimes, I feel as if the dialog at the very end feels awkward, especially compared to the most natural and touching moments in the beginning and middle of the story. However, the sheer quality of the beginning and middle of the story more than makes up for anything in the end, which is still extremely solid. I also highly enjoyed your interpretation of Zelos's character, elaborating on Zelos's hidden depths only offhandedly mentioned in the game. Your fic is most definitely one of the best stories I have read in years. Thank you very, very much for creating this refreshing masterpiece.