Reviews for Morlock Nightmare
applepielover chapter 1 . 2/16/2009
I remember those scenes you described (where the Time Traveler lit up his match and where he enters the Morlocks' underground lair) from the 1960 version of the movie. It's just like what happened and you showed Fown's point of view so well. At the end where the Morlock leader said that the Morlocks that are still inside the Sphinx to lure the creature is clever, since that did happen later in the movie.

Corrections:

"...called in the Eloi with their sirens to hid down below." I think it should be hide.

"He passed by the wide cavern back to the smaller corridors that lead to the pockets of caves." I think "the" should be between of and caves. And it's led.

"He would snap awake if an intruder dare come near." I believe it's dared since you're writing in the past tense.

"Than there he saw him again!" It's then.

"A Morlock swung his whip, the tip of it wrapped itself around it’s neck." It's its.

"The entire fight before him exploded as creature whipped Morlock and vice versa." I think "the" should be before as and creature (unless it's intentional).

"The painful light screwed their senses along with their already low energy made them weak opponents." This sentence confused me. Maybe I can suggest putting "that" between light and screwed.

"Yes at last one the Morlocks had him down in a chokehold." I believe "of" should be between one and the.

"Fown roared just as one of the Eloi gave the male a slam on the back with his feast." Feast should be fist.

"He shook his sweaty face and continued race against the flames." I believe "to" should be between continued and race.

"Instincts lead him forward." It's led.

"The sun threw it’s own wrath upon him." It's its.

"There was ten others around him." Was should be were.
WellsFan12586 chapter 1 . 1/2/2009
WOW! You are such an awesome writer. I loved your story here. I hope you do another one soon!
TravelingThroughTime chapter 1 . 12/30/2008
Posted already? WOOHOO! I loved the beginning convo between the Morlocks and Fown. You capture their ruthless nature so well and I was laughing when he said: Plus some pi stole all the marrow! LOL! I loved it!

Wow Pookyhorse! This story made my night! I was so bored with nothing to do and then I saw this! YAHOO! haha! Please keep up the AWESOME writing! You're awesome!

This was so interesting! Loved every minute of it!

~TravelingThroughTime