|Reviews for Bound For Eternity|
| mumblybee chapter 10 . 1/11/2011
SORA HAS MAD PARENTING SKILLZ!
It's really interesting to see him as a parent, and I think you're doing a good job of writing him. Keeeep wriiiiitinnnnggg!
| Eriyu chapter 10 . 1/10/2011
The thing that separates Sora and the girls, though, is that tiny little "Keyblade" factor. XD But no, I don't think there's really anything else Sora could have done. Good Sora. :)
But wow, Kairi, is there anything more guilt-trippy you could have said? "Kairi shook her head, 'No,because she wouldn't sneak off is we said no, would she?'" Hahaha.
I love this story and I wanna see Atlantica! :D Keep up with thissssss!
| mumblybee chapter 9 . 1/1/2011
Whenever I read your stories I always want more. You're so good at adding in those little tiny hints of intriguing information that keep me wondering what's going to happen and how everything is connected. I love the idea of the next generation, the children of the princesses, having to go off and save the world this time around. I think that everyone is very in character. I love Trey and Evan, and Rich is definitely interesting. Some of the dialogue you have is just plain awesome; I've told you a million times, you're amazing at dialogue. Your characters are always so unique. And I think that the story is moving along at a good pace.
SO UPDATE ASAP! D
| Eriyu chapter 9 . 6/7/2010
Unless I have chronic deja vu, you have a couple lines near the end repeated, dearie.
REGARDLESS. Thank you for updating! :D
XD I love Riku. He, like, didn't do anything this chapter except fail miserably at controlling his kid, but I love, "Unfortunately, he figured it out right away and was now, basically, chasing them." Scary-determined!Kara is also fun.
Is Trey really gonna poison Evan? D: GOSH, what a cliffhanger! I really think he might do it! Alas, thou hadst best update soon forbid my heart shall cry out in anguish and commit angsty suicide! [/melodrama]
No, really, pls? :3
| Eriyu chapter 8 . 11/17/2009
I'm here, finally! I do very much like this; I'm sorry it took so long.
I like Amy, she sounds adorable. _ Hmm... Her whole “Oops, sorry… I tend to scare people with my random outbursts,” though... I dunno, it didn't seem particularly random to me.
And I want everyone to meet up finally! But that's not gonna happen any time soon, is it?
In any case, thank you, and keep going. :P
| Eriyu chapter 7 . 9/15/2009
Yay plot advancement and yay accidentally meeting Riku! I like that dream, and I can't wait to learn what it means. _
I'm sorry Belle can't spreak too. :(
You're not going to leave this as long as last time, right now?
| Eriyu chapter 6 . 9/15/2009
Ooh, Rich, sounds exciting. I wishes to know more about him; he's awesome. Is there a reason he randomly becomes Rick in the middle, though? :P
I'd say Ava's well on her way to mastering swordsmanship if she's already beheading people. _
| Eriyu chapter 4 . 5/11/2009
Whee! Things are happening! Can't wait to see where it's going. _
Okay, Rich seems a lot less evil now. Still... something's a little off, hmm... or maybe I'm imagining things... Hm... I like Evan a lot
So, um, question... Is the Beast still... a Beast? 'Cause that could be pretty awkward for the kid, but otherwise I'd think they'd stop calling him that.
| Eriyu chapter 2 . 3/29/2009
Ah! Explosion! Oh no! ...And I don't even remember any of the questions I asked about it. ;;
I am very much liking this. I want to know what happens! And Rich seems pretty awesome.
Do you have a reason Rich can presumably hurt Heartless? Or is it the same reason Donald and Goofy and Leon and all sort of other characters without Keyblades can inexplicably do it?
And hm, I wonder if there's a connection between his sword and the one that made the scar...
"My name’s Richard. Call me Rich. And you are?" he asked.
"Confused!" Ava cried.
XD Me likey this part.
| Eriyu chapter 1 . 12/30/2008
Oh, thank you for posting! I'm not entirely sure where this is going yet, but I shall await the continuation with bated breath! Mm, this is sort of random, but I really liked the simile with the rocks and ripples. _
So how old are they exactly? I'd assume about 15, but...? And what does Ava's tattoo look like? Was Kairi OK with it? XD Finally, is there a specific reason they have powers in the first place? Also, you seriously needed a last name so badly there that you couldn't go on without it? Of course I don't mean to say that it doesn't work wonderfully there; it does.
So, um, I guess only one of those questions was about the topics you listed... Sorry.
| 30nights chapter 1 . 12/30/2008
(yeah i figured out how to work this)
I'm a tad bit confused, but that probably because i know NOTHING about kingdom hearts lol! but update soon!
| SMYLEE chapter 1 . 12/30/2008
Guess who this is? D SMYLEE.
Okay, first a list of things I liked:
1. You really know how to get the plot rolling. Your beginning was engaging and kept me interested. I envy your talent in this area because I am terrible at starting a plot and just going with it - I tend to describe too much and use too little action. You seem to have a good balance of that.
2. I like that Ava has more of Kairi's feistiness, whereas Kara is a do-gooder like Sora. You can see characteristics of both parents in them.
3. On that note, I really got a feel for the personalities of both twins. They're not flat characters - not fully-formed either but you can tell they're individuals and have potential to be very interesting people as the story goes on.
4. You're always good at dialogue.
5. The names fit well into the Kingdom Hearts universe.
6. Ava's dreams/visions are believable and the concept of her seeing things in the past that are going to affect the future is original and just plain awesome.
7. Sora and Kairi having twin girls just makes me happy.
1. Repetition. You tend to repeat words or phrases too often in too small a space. Just something to look for when you edit/revise. An example here: "She tumbled backwards, crashing into the ground with a crash"...it's more coherent to say "she tumbled backwards with a crash.."
2. Maybe a bit more show rather than tell - good rule of thumb is to try to incorporate smells and sensations as well as sights and sounds.
3. Not a nitpick, but just some advice for editing - when you edit take out any word that is unnecessary. Like, "Lilly skipped along the with a a bow in her hair and a basket in her hand...change to: Lilly skipped along the path, a bow in her hair and a basket in hand.
YOU'RE AWESOME. KEEP WRITING.