|Reviews for Welcome Home|
| Mad M0xxi chapter 43 . 9/12
I gotta say, as much as I loved the story, one of my least favorite parts is how heavily your OCs jack the plot. No offense (and I'm not saying I haven't been guilty of this in the past), but coming from someone who doesn't know who these characters are, and pretty much seriously doesn't care, it was irritating to occasionally have entire chapters dedicated to their feelings or their interactions with other characters.
Hana, for example, may have had some redeeming qualities, but a massive chunk of the last few chapters, which would have done much better in my mind to having been put towards real resolution to some of the conflicts, rather than leaving certain things unsaid, are dedicated to her angst over Shikamaru in a love triangle I never got the opportunity to care about in the first place because Temari's already established in he universe of Naruto, and Hana does absolutely nothing in the story to warrant any sort of sympathy from me, an outside source, in her side of the struggle.
Similarly with Kakashi's out of nowhere wife. She's just there as a filler character. For a somewhat dynamic character that is as loveable as Kakashi, it just felt like a slap in the face to relegate most of his interactions throughout the entire story to a half-baked strange sense of romance and watered-down husband dialogue with an entirely forgettable character. Case in point: I read her name not but 5 minutes ago in the final chapter, and I've already forgotten it.
For me, the premise was good, amazing even. I loved Sasuke's character almost the most in the entire story, because it's interesting to not only see him written as one of the good guys for once, but he doesn't take up too much spotlight while having a huge impact. Sasuke is mentioned maybe 1/4 the amount of the majority of the characters, but I felt somehow more connected to his personality on the whole than say Ino, who got a fair few chapters dedicated to her useless shenanigans and all-around cliff-hanger relationship with Choji.
The story, however, was not able to back up, for me, the amazing premise with equally amazing characters, giving me about 4 I liked, maybe 5 that were left in the middle of their development (Lee, for example), and then tue OCs plus a few that were simply a chore to read, which ended up becoming the trouble of skimming entire paragraphs to just get it over with, which to me is the sign that something's been written improperly. The moment I start feeling like skimming for important information because the characters are not engaging enough is the moment I realize this character was not worth the time placing into the story.
On the whole, I'd recommend it for a good read, if you can deal with OCs having what feels like nearly as much time as the main characters.
| Guest chapter 28 . 7/19
OMG love the end
| Guest chapter 26 . 7/19
My favorite chapter so far. Naruhinanaruhinanaruhinanaruhina!
| ohmth1998 chapter 31 . 3/29
| magicofantasy chapter 13 . 11/4/2015
Okay chapter 13 was the worst ...I know the story is complete and it's an old story but I wonder why people always making Hinata so weak and hiashi so bad ...
I know one thing about Hinata and I'm sure she wold never married someone she doesn't want even if the clan want it
| Yuyui Hime chapter 15 . 9/5/2015
Okaaay this chapter of Hana and also on Neji's visit to Naruto actually broke my heart into pieces. Especially the one when Naruto cried out Hinata's name though it's actually a cat *wipe tears*
| Yuyui Hime chapter 13 . 9/5/2015
I'm not sure what to feel anymore! At first I feel so sorry for Hinata and Naruto, but then again I also ship HinataXSasuke (but NaruHina is still my OTP!) Urghh this small heart of mine is going to explode
| Yuyui Hime chapter 11 . 9/5/2015
Poor Hinataaaaaaaaa *cries*
| Yuyui Hime chapter 10 . 9/5/2015
Oh Kami, you just have to make me ship Hana with Shikamaruuu! But I like Temari with him too! Ahh my heaaad
| Guest chapter 3 . 8/19/2015
You wrote Hana in a couple of your stories! I like her! If she where a real character in naruto I would ship Shikahana rather than shikatema!
| Guest chapter 35 . 5/16/2015
Yes, that's how it's done, Hinata. Informing Naruto of any and all incoming battles/marriage contracts/wars allows him to activate his Deus Ex Machina and solve all of your problems.
| ZirconK chapter 40 . 5/16/2015
So troublesome for every character you have there. Who really is happy in the story of your's actually?
| ZirconK chapter 41 . 5/16/2015
Great filler but you sure are not fair to your OCs. They are just a rejection for a third party. She deserves better.
| ZirconK chapter 42 . 5/16/2015
Wow not a chapter i could simply miss. So much thrill till last chapter. You rock it. Most suspensed fanfic ever read.
| Wondermoonlight chapter 43 . 5/9/2015
This was a really cute story! I loved the plot, I loved the conflict, I loved the romance, I loved almost everything! My curiousity grew in each chapter, there was just a need to know what would happen. It's so hard to find a long, good ff about my favorite pairing that is finished or good enough for me to leave a review. Yours deserves it. It was a fine idea to leave Sasuke in prison for 2 years and make him come back because of a betrothal with none other that the byakugan princess. That little phrase in the summary just made me want to read the whole story. And I was not dissapointed. Your grammar is awesome, I learned a few things! I also learned new words with the "I come from a respected clan so listen to my vocabulary"-phrases. Those just made me feel proud of the characters. I liked how you didn't rush the romantic feelings, you made everything completely believable! In other words, it was a great story, well done. I couldn't have made it better.
But, next to all the things I liked, there were also things I didn't like. What is a critic if I ignore the mistakes? Boring.
I didn't like Hana. She appeared to be a little Mary-suish. With the way she "was the only one" that could help Chouji, the "best friend" of Hinata and the way she thanked her just to make the OC seem special. Many chapters had her as the focus and that is always a mistake people do with their OC's, they should never be more important than the canon characters. I would have loved to read Sakuras reaction about Sasukes and Hinatas engagement, but no, you prefered to write it as something on passée and give Hana more focus In the chapter. And what about Tanaka? Same thing. Tsunade keeps asking Naruto about how he knew about the books, he finally tells her and she's suddenly like "WHAT, THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE, HOW?", just to have a reason to write more about Tanaka. That was just too out of place.
Other than that, which was just one simple mistake that a lot of people do, nothing is wrong with the story. I really liked it! I liked the ending, I obviously rooted more for SHIKATEMA than SHIKAHANA so, I was satisfied (actually even though I didn't like Hana, I started rooting for her to end up with Lee). The NARUHINA ending caught me by surprise! But it was a nice surprise. Nah, nothing to change, it was great to read it! Good job! Fav.