|Reviews for Kiss and Evade|
| BlueAngel137 chapter 1 . 1/5/2009
Absolutely loved it - so beautiful! :-)
| shywr1ter chapter 1 . 1/4/2009
There are so many things about this story that are so well done! With apologies for being late to review – and for probably being disjointed about these comments – here are some of the many reasons I really liked this story a lot!
First – the title. :D Nice use of a signature line from the show, especially for how well it for the story!
Next, the image you draw of Logan in the shelter line (and the use of the line and the organization overall) – very strong sensory images of his scent among others, his nicer clothes probably standing out like a spotlight as compared to the others around him, along with his ease among everyone around him – love that image of him! It’s also a nicely drawn image of Max, too, peering around to the front of the long line, staying hidden behind the tree – these images paint such a vibrant picture of the scene.
It’s a great opening story line too, Logan's stumbling on Normal and calling Max to show her, along with his “investigation” leading to an eyewitness to events! Very Logan! : } And Normal is terrific: “lecturing the volunteers that they shouldn’t be sloppy just because people are poor” and “handing each child an apple and vitamin pills. He claims that in times like these they shouldn’t be spoiled with candy.” These two ideas fit with the Normal I hope really exists: cranky and rigid about rules, the rules he demands be followed here are really noble and wonderful – I love the first; the second may sound like someone with no sense of fun, but when you think of how kids must have suffered, nutritionally, after the Pulse, there’s a truth and even an urgency in what he’s saying. And here, not only does he preach about what’s best for them, he comes back and makes his own efforts to help the kids be a little healthier with apples and vitamins. This was perfect and so touching, making Normal an insightful humanitarian, down deep. Just so great – and Max is absolutely right that this was an “unquestionably Normal way of displaying his humanitarian streak.”
Max would of course be reminded, at Christmas, how apart she was from her friends: when else but at Christmas are there so many stories about past Christmases and family? It happens even now, so just imagine how much more of that would go on, when in a Christmas of such severe depression as they had Post-Pulse. For Max to watch as everyone else seemed to get a joke that she did not would simply make her estrangement seem more clear. And this observation is especially poignant for Max: while others may have “remembered those magnificent Christmases of their childhood where there had been lights and presents and so much good food, so much candy and cookies that people eventually threw them away,” Max would never have experienced anything like that at all – she must have felt so much more estranged in hearing those stories!
And how nice a turn this was: “I like to think that there’s a soft heart in everybody. In Normal … or in that girl who doesn’t believe in Christmas but can’t walk past that little boy selling fruit outside of Fogle Towers.” Your story about Max and the young boy is lovely, Max being drawn to him (of course seeing those similarities to her siblings, but maybe also to her own childhood, her need to do what she had to do to survive?) Such a beautiful, haunting image: “the pale blue eyes, the bluish-white, almost translucent skin stretching over his cheeks and shining through the light blond hair, as if some strange artist had tried to picture the poverty in porcelain.” ( amazing line, that, "...tried to picture the poverty in porcelain.”) And the part that must have resonated with Max, “Eyes stubborn and cool, he did everything not to seem like the fragile victim, the vulnerable child they all had been.” It's easy to see why Max was drawn in, even is she didn't acknowledge the 'why' to herself.
Max’s manner in interacting with the boy, not speaking, making each week a business transaction, sparing his dignity and, maybe, protecting her own emotions a little, are just what I would expect from Max – as is her being thrown off a bit when she learned that Logan knew about their private connection.
And saved by the mistletoe! That was funny, and I vote with the others who liked Logan being overcome with confidence, ‘protection’ of Max from the encroaching teenage and a sense of what must have been his old self, to sweep her off her feet (literally!) and kiss her the way he did. And you said more, so perfectly: “it told her more about Logan than she’d learnt in months of carefully negotiating each other’s emotions.” Love this! Of course, it was made even better with your so well described scene of Normal trying to get a look at what had disrupted the otherwise hungry food line.
Such a nice story, with such great character-revealing moments, and told with extra-special touches to make it such a treat! Thank you for sharing!
| ion bond chapter 1 . 1/4/2009
ha ha, this is fun! I like Normal's accurately packed boxes and the kid's shaved head - and I can totally picture that kiss.
| Aurora2424 chapter 1 . 1/2/2009
This is wonderful, the perfect gift! Thank you, Mari. I love the way you used the Grinch story as the frame from the piece and managed to make sense of the rest of my requests so perfectly. 5 out of :-)
I thought the Normal story was funny, heart-warming, and true to character. I think the notion of Normal's obsessive compulsive traits leading him to do good was a perfect blend of practicality meeting altruism. I also appreciate the way you weave Logan into the landscape. He's still the impeccable dresser and upperclass resident, but the way you describe how he feels completely comfortable among those less fortunate (perhaps more so than when he's at an upper-class wedding) says a lot about our favorite cyber-journalist.
This was all really well written, but my favorite part (besides the kiss), was when Logan confronts Max about her good deed.
It's just wonderful how you introduce it: "Surprising, isn’t it?” Logan’s voice next to her was empathetic and intense, so soft that at first she didn’t realize how he wasn’t just talking about Normal anymore. “But then… I like to think that there’s a soft heart in everybody. In Normal … or in that girl who doesn’t believe in Christmas but can’t walk past that little boy selling fruit outside of Fogle Towers.“" - This says so much about not only Max, but also Logan's perceptive on the world. His method of dealing with corruption can be brutal, but his inner mind is focused on the innate goodness of mankind, especially in Max.
Max too is very believable, definitely in the dark frame of mind that I would expect. And this was a great few lines: "Their giddy voices sharing another memory Max would never have, their faces took on a far-away expression when they remembered those magnificent Christmases of their childhood where there had been lights and presents and so much good food, so much candy and cookies that people eventually threw them away." - really goes toward explaining the the conflict inside her.
Where Max pictures the little boy as Zack is haunting, and extremely well-done.
And then, of course, is the kiss. I have to say that my favorite line is this: "There was no hesitation, no insecurity in his kiss, as short as it was. Firm and determined, it told her more about Logan than she’d learnt in months of carefully negotiating each other’s emotions." - not only was it sufficiently shippy, it was also incredibly insightful and interesting. Definitely a moment of the confident Logan peaking through the insecurities of the year as it should during such a scene. Just great. THANK YOU!
| latenightrain chapter 1 . 1/1/2009
Most excellent, Mari. Just the way I like both of them - Logan in a light mood, Max a little flustered. Perfect!
| lisa316 chapter 1 . 1/1/2009
I can totally envision Normal bringing order to the chaos of the food lines, bullying people into submission until they formed on straight, quiet line, and then staying to maintain order through the holidays. It suits his personality so well. I also loved Logan snorting at the Grinch comment.
I was also impressed with the way you painted such a realistic picture of holidays after the pulse, remindind everyone of the says when there was so much that it all got thrown away, and the little boy selling fruit. Very poignant and sad, but also a very fitting discription of a post-pulse christmas.
And kissing under the mistletoe! Loved the idea of Kendra introducing the idea to Max (who else?) but even more loved the way Logan just did it. I want sexy, confinent Logan!
| Princess456 chapter 1 . 1/1/2009