Reviews for Charmed: Virtual Season Nine
andersoncaseylee246 chapter 3 . 7/3/2013
continue the story but make a good ending where Christy becomes good and so does billie with the charmed one still being good and try to make those witches billie and Christy related to the charmed ones.
Temporal Death chapter 1 . 5/31/2010
Alright, as promised, here it is.

Before I get to the story, let's first tackle the style and dialogue and whatnot. While the dialogue is almost spot-on (and forgive me for not quoting anything, as I'm doing this off memory), I personally feel this story should be written in script format. I do recall you having Final Draft with you, as someone "redirected" me to you when I asked them where they got it from. Transcribe these, they're perfect!

You might disagree using the whole "can't describe much" arguement, but I feel that what is contained in this chapter, and the other two, can be converted into the said form, as I've see Reyn do the same. And while we're on that note, tenses. Keep it consistent whenever you can, you seem to slip up at times.

Now, the story. The Post 8x21 approach is commonly used, but I think you've done this episode well, especially bringing back old faces and demons. It's a good way to get a dead series kicking virtually. The plot was well off, and the characterisations, I did not mind at all, except Billie's and Dumain's.

I know that Billie has been potrayed as quite stupid on the show, and I loathe her, but that aside, she was potrayed similarly in this chapter, especially when she gets the Grimoire and then makes an obvious statement. And Dumain: shit annoying whenever he talks, especially after he goes power-crazy. Perhaps some punctuation and pacing could fix that, as on the show, he seemed to be a little collective.

The annoying factor actually stepped in when he went after Billie and Leo.

Besides that, the deal they made with Tempus is interesting, as there's always a catch when it comes to Faustian deals, so I want to see where that leads.

And Cole's back! In Coop's body. Thank God. Coop was such a pansy on the show. Leo had his make-love-not-war moments, but he was at least tolerable. I hope you're straying away from that making Coop Phoebe's "mate". Always loved Cole. Oh and "love transcends all planes", good reasoning.

And that's all I have to say for this chapter. I've read the other two as well, and will leave my thoughts on them in due time.
Abby Storm chapter 3 . 1/28/2010
Write more about Christy and Raven! I love those two! That blonde whiny brat sister has a beating coming to her. The plot you have with Father Time and Tempus and Time phasing in and out is a lot better than that crap the show brought out.

Keep up the good work. Also, love the Evil enchantress and P. Russel, I hated that in the show those two lost their powers, they were a LOT cooler than the present Phoebe and Paige.

You Go! Keep writing!
The Voodoo Shadowhunter chapter 3 . 5/1/2009
Well the opening scene was nice, to see the after effects of the past lives. Though it seems like the first 3 episodes are sort of one long story. A one episode in one. Which is not a bad thing, just an observation.

-I really liked the scene with Piper and Victor. It was really nice and it showed off the emotions that Piper has been feeling that we dont see often when we see Charmed, we can't read her thoughts. I also thought the thing with Victor in saying that the "plumbing problem" was funny, good line.

-I thought the scene with Father Time was cool. I had forgotten about him. haha. I actually think that the sisters have many ways of getting to the past. Aka, Unbinding the Bond. lol. I am liking your time travels, though it does cause a lot for the sisters to handle, it gives us some insight on other parts of the world and history that we dont ever get to see. Also, Phoebe's spell was funny.

-I like Raven she seems really interesting, and I really like her. The scene was also well played, I really liked it. I hope to see more of her soon.

-AWESOME! You sent her to when the Enchantresses time! Totally awesome! It was a good scene and I like how you made her realize how her clothes could alter history. I really like how you are doing this. Good good good!

-Potentials? That is something I had never heard demons say before, so it is really nice to hear a term that they have of people who could potentially be evil. Nice nice.

-It shows again how the sisters were semi-selfish. I think it was portrayed nicely. With Phoebe passing on Raven so they could save Paige. They had learned in "Apocalypse Not" that they had to save innocents before sisters, but it apparently different now...haha.

-I like how you brought back with the mentioning of the ring. It was good. I liked it. I know I keep saying that, but it is true, I like it a lot. haha.

-Raven is an interesting character. And her mother is a shape-shifter. Cool. I like how she likes Henry, Henry was one character that I never thought people would "fantasize" about. haha.

-I like the sister arrived and their dialogue, very Charmed-like. Nicely done. Also, it was very Phoebe-ish when you had her say "kinky" haah, funny.

-I knew Christy would add to the selfish thing, I am getting good at foreshadowing haah. Raven will turn evil! Don't do it! lol. I like the plot you have for the sisters and Raven. She is really interesting.

-Paige's quirkiness is still there. Nicely done, and her goddess-like ordering is pretty funny. You capture her pretty well.

-I like the sisterly dialogue, you capture them very well, something I enjoy a lot. I also notice how Rory and you said the same thing with powers being lost, that is like "riding a bike".

-Good scene with Paige, that makes me think that the Enchantress cast a spell on the King to fall for her so he wouldn't kill her.

-Wow, there are so many memory occurances here. The past Phoebe and Piper were there to get paige from the past, Phoebe and Paige are there because of Piper, and Phoebe and Piper are there once again, a lot of twists. lol.

-I am liking all the scenes come together and the fight scene was funny too. I am really enjoying it. Haha! The Enchantress is being chased! lol. So good.

-I really think that the scenes you have created with the sisters are really well done. Nicely done again :).

-Whoa, I knew that there was going to be some sort of evil Power of Three, but i was not expecting it to be Raven. That is really cool, and a nice twist.

All in all a nice chapter, and I like it a lot. I cant wait for Chapter 4!
lexi-charmed chapter 3 . 4/19/2009
Another review taken straight from ST

The opening was interesting, with the knights showing up. Great continuity from the previous episode. I love it that Paige ended up in the past without really realising I guess, otherwise she would have known that her powers wouldn't work. I'm interested to find out exactly where she is and whether it does have anything to do with her past life or not and how are Piper and Phoebe going to get her back?

I loved Victor's answer to Piper's question about going back in time. Its great that he's still a little iffy about magic and that he's happy to have his grandsons around.

Quote:

After a beat of silence, Victor said, “You know, I’ve got this plumbing problem...”

“Sorry, Dad.” Piper laughed and shook her head. “Can’t use magic for personal gain. Damage by demons or dinosaurs, though, is fine.”

I'm so glad that you put this line in after a discussion that was going on under the RTM thread. It's great to see something mentioned about how the house is repaired after demon damage.

Raven's character is interesting, now I have to wonder whether she is going to side with Christy and Billie at some point or whether she will end up getting a Whitelighter to get her back on track. She's really intriguing though and I hope she sticks around for a short while.

I don't really like PIper in this episode, the fact that she was happy to just freeze Coop and steal the ring, it bothered me a little. She just said to Victor earlier in the episode that they can't use magic for personal gain, but she just did.

O, Raven is a little brat! I no longer think she'll get a Whitelighter, she's past the level of getting one. She won't consider saving anyone. After the Triad talking to the Dumain and Christy, I can definitely see her joining them and becoming a threat against the COs. THat will be interesting when Henry gets involved in it all too.

Uh oh! They've just changed history by battling against the Enchantress! I wonder what damage that will do to the future. In a way, I'm a little disappointed that they didn't effect something in the future by Phoebe battling the Enchantress, but on another level, at least that little drama is over and done with and they can concentrate on Nomed and Tempus.

Oh the twist that you put in the end has brought your fic to a whole new level. I can see the three of them becoming the big bad of the season, or at least half of the season, and really causing some problems for the COs. I look forward to reading more.
lexi-charmed chapter 2 . 4/19/2009
My review for chapter 2 copied across from ST

I like that you started exactly where the last episode left off, and it was Cole that took over Coop's body. Boy! I wonder what he has in store and how he's going to get his body back. I can't wait to find out, although I will tell you now, I was not the biggest Cole fan especially with the whole turning evil then back good and then evil and then dying and coming back...I just hope you handle him a little differently than the writers of Charmed did.

So the Triad know about time reversing, glad you kept the continuity that time in the Underworld has no effect and that the demons would remember everything. It adds hope that Billie will see the errors of her ways sooner and be able to help the Charmed Ones rather than fight against them.

Hm, having Paige move the couch with magic just makes me think of personal gain and there's going to be a consquence to it. Phoebe's powers were taken away because of that, will that be what happens to Paige, I wonder. At least Odin agrees with me that they are using their powers in the wrong way. Uh oh, for once I agree with Odin (not good).

Anyway, Odin is completely right, they can't decide that they need a break, they are the Charmed Ones and they need to protect the world from the Ultimate Power. AFter all, its not like evil will stop coming to try and kill them!

Giving powers back and taking them away, quite a lot in a days work I will say. Actually, I'm looking forward to if Billie does realise that her power is gone. Its interesting really, I did think that she was too powerful and the fact that you've made it so that the Triad gave her that pwoer is very interesting indeed. I'm looking forward to reading what other tricks you have up your sleeve now.

Having all of time phasing together is interesting and you have Piper as a potions teacher at Magic School, that's interesting. I could see PIper not really wanting anything to do with magic, especially at magic school, but I guess things change.

Something that got to me a little, when Piper showed up next to Grams in 1980. Grams should have recognised her, since she turned up in the 70s with Prue and Phoebe. It was something that annoyed me about Forever Charmed, that Grams didn't recognised Piper at all, even though she should have done. Grams never said anything about any memory spells that would be cast. And the same would go for Paige, Grams wouldn't recognise her but would have if it was Prue.

Hm, another predicament for the Charmed Ones, Paige is trapped somewhere in time. There's so much to be done but so little time for them to do it in. I just hope Tempus doesn't decide that he's waiting too long for Nomed to be vanquished and decide to turn back time. I'm wondering now whether you are going to have Billie and Christy vanquish in some way soon as maybe the end to a three or four part season opening, or whether they're going to be the season long baddie.
lexi-charmed chapter 1 . 4/19/2009
Hey, I've just copied this across from ST since I know most of you on ST prefer reviews in both places.

I loved how you kept the start the same as originally but with your own little tweaks here and there.

I've got to say though, I was a little disappointed in the way Coop was over Phoebe's death. When Piper told him there didn't seem to be much there, and it was the same with the original ending. It was as if Piper knew she could change it and that's all Coop needed to hear. I guess, I'd just liked to have seen a little more from him.

Piper going up to Elderland was a nice touch, rather than using the ring, I liked that and I loved the description you put into the whole place and kept it the same as how we saw it in Season 3! Aww, that the Whitelighter that offered to heal Piper's wounds was really sweet actually. I've always hated Odin, and I'm glad you kept him in character so I could still hate him. I could really picture him saying what you wrote so well done on that. Also, Sandra too.

Bringing Drake into it is a nice touch, its great to see him back since I know he would have been upset that Phoebe was dead. I think with Drake you handled it a little better, when he knew something needed to be done he could hide his true emotions.

After seeing the promo poster, I was really intrigued with how you were going to bring in Tempus since he was meant to have been vanquished, but the explanation was perfect and I really enjoyed that twist. I thought it was a stupid idea that Tempus would just be vanquished like that, bit of an anti climax for the demon.

Something that was a little off for me is if Billie was really evil then she wouldn't be able to touch the Book of Shadows, so either the Book is somehow confused (which has never happened before) or Billie isn't really evil. But what was more off is the fact that Leo didn't say anything about the fact that Billie had gotten her hands on the Book. I'm not trying to be picky and I apologise if you think I am, its just little things that are niggling at the back of my head as I read. The Grimoire protecting itself from Billie was good to see, it means that she really is good and just midguided, I'm now interested in whether Christy is just misguided too. Having Billie realise that she was tricked was good, she was far too dense in the show but at least you kept her that way. I am interested in seeing what you will do with her now though.

Ah, I'm so glad you fixed the wrong from the final episode, that someone good and someone evil had to read the incantation on the box to get rid of the Hollow. I hated that all of a sudden Penny, Patty and Piper could say it and they wouldn't have even had the Power of Three! grr! I'm waiting to find out if you fixed the other wrong now...Wyatt's powers...

Leaving it on a cliff hanger was a nice touch, but I'm wondering about Coop. For some reason I have a feeling that Cole has just taken over his body somehow. That's my speculation on the final part, anyway.
Phoenixed chapter 1 . 4/18/2009
9.01: From the Ashes – Review.

Immediately, I already love the new title. I kinda forgot the old one now though. Or maybe this is the old one. I think I'm almost-pretty sure that this title is new. Either way, I love the title. I'm down with anything that has a phoenix-y feel to it, even one just brought upon by a chapter title and not directly affiliated with any phoenix. I think back on how this is the new premiere, canceling out the series finale, and how it would've meant that we would've been left with KBV2 as our season finale for the entire summer. That would've been the absolutely cruelest thing.

I love how you have Piper story-tell the events from when Leo was frozen, drawing out just how sinister the Triad's plan was. Sisters against Sisters and the Charmed Ones against their star student combined with the Triad's golden child.

An interesting little note would be how you remembered Dumain didn't know the BoS was outside the manor. Sure, the Jenkins Two could've told him they inspected, but I prefer your approach. Shows consistency.

My only issue with Piper right now, is that I feel almost as if she has too much hope that she's going to get her sisters back. Almost as if she knows the end of the script and realizes she just has to fight her way to get Paige and Phoebe back and I get this feeling because of how quippy some of her comments have been. She should be a little more distraught, and even a little despondent at the reality that the Elders have never been much of a help.

Yeah, I definitely still love the scene where Piper argues against the Elders as they rest amongst their high chambers. Her expressing hate was very appropriate and her desperate hope is fitting more than what she had going on earlier.

Drake is very in character, his lines fly off so easily. You can see just how much he has to offer, speaking for demons, when it came down to find Cole to reach Tempus. You made fair arguments as well as to why they have to resort to Cole.

One of my favorite series scenes has been Dumain being TK'd off the mountain and just amusing himself with falling, before hugging the Grimoire to his chest and shimmering out.

Cool scene with Tempus. If I remember right, he pops in over the next few chapters, waiting for them to finally kill Nomed which [i]someone[/i] else ends up doing. I won't say who in case of spoiling someone.

By the way, Dumain desperately needed this transition because WOW! he was such a damn punk, to keep it simple. When he vaporized Leo to ashes (once again, tying into the title a tad), it was just awesome. Honestly, those Crescent Demons in Season 7 would throw their blades and let Leo live. Dumain just kills the crap out of him. Who's clearly the better demon? I just remember being extremely shocked that you killed Billie and Leo all in one scene when I read the original, but forgot that Piper had her own agenda going on.

My favorite line would have to be when Billie was consumed by the Hollow - “You’re right. I can hear the Hollow whispering inside of me. It wants to find the source of all magic. I want to find it.”

I loved the addition to the battle after they banished the Hollow. As the blaze was burning strong, Piper could only overlook her enemies escape and continue to reflect on Leo gone again. And then the ending – Cole!

Damn good chapter, Nerf. This must've been my third time reading it, so sorry the review kinda sucks, but I enjoyed it. There were a couple of tense errors that didn't quite get translated, but it's not a big deal since you in fact had a lot to switch up. Looking forward to getting to Part 2 soon.
lizardmomma chapter 3 . 4/7/2009
So now they have an evil version of the Power of Three. I am glad to see that everyone is back in the correct time, except for Cole of Course. He is still in Coop's body isn't he...good job.
atlan2007 chapter 3 . 4/6/2009
Great chapter, I knew ignoring that premonition would come back to bite them. They should have realized with time travel they could have saved those people and Paige too. Raven goes well with Christie she was well on the road to becoming a warlock anyway. I wonder how long it would have taken her to go from robbing liquor stores and assaulting the owners to murder? Nice job on the sisters in the past and loved Piper's line to Coop "better wash that!"

And you portray Billie perfectly she has the brains of a retarded chipmunk. Anyone with any sense would realize that if the sisters thinking of themselves is wrong like Christie say then trying to frame someone for murder is much worse. Anyone with sense but not Billie!

I guess the standard is unless the Halliwells are saints then they must die and anything that is done to kill them is ok! And some people think the Jenkins are innocents! (rolls eyes)

Again great work!
Savior Witch chapter 1 . 4/5/2009
About time I gave you a review.

-Scene One Phoebe's Apartment-

I'm glad to see some things staying the same in the aftermath. Phoebe's place still remains the logical place to go. All of Leo's questions, Piper's pain, and the way they came along a solution were all very well played. A bit more emotion description could've been added when Piper told Coop of Phoebe's death rather then just showing his dialogue. Still, all of the dialogue was spot on and characterization was done well. Especially by keeping Leo as the only one who softens Piper's emotions in times like these.

-Scene Two Dumain and Billie in Magic School-

Wow. That was a very interesting take on Dumain's feelings and thoughts. That one phrase where he convinced Billie the Grimoire was not evil was constructed very well. If I put myself in the same position as Billie, I would've believed him too. So I don't really find it Billie's fault. I'm hoping that's what you were going for as I'm sure there are some other people who find that she's being very dumb at this point.

-Scene Three The Heavens and Drake-

Great scene. It was very refreshing to get to see Drake and the Elders after a while. I felt so bad for Piper surrounded by all of these powerful people that couldn't help her. I truly wanted her to blast Odin. His actions were just so uncalled for, but yet, perfectly in character. That was also very creative on your part to mess with some of Charmed's history and say that the Source was the one to reset time. Very realistic.

-Scene Four The Steeling of the Page-

It was nice to see Paige's death finally hit Billie. I love the way you've portrayed and gave a look into everyone's emotions.

Darn, I wanted Billie and Piper to battle out for a while.

Oh, good job filling in Leo on the fact that Paige can heal now. Very subtle.

-Scene Five Dumain & Billie vs. Nomed-

I loved Billie's quippy entry. Very Billie-ish. At first I thought she was going to hear more about how evil Dumain actually is. Ah, I also liked how you seem to be opening up Dumain's true character to Billie with the quote about how she was an inexperienced witch, foreshadowing when Billie finally discovers who he is.

-Scene Six Piper vs. Thorn Demons

This whole action sequence flowed very well and I loved the strategy in Piper's attacks.

Also, I really do like the fact that all Cole seems to do know is help them. I truly hope that he ends up with Phoebe in a way. I never really saw him as evil. I just saw him as the type of guy who would do anything for his love.

-Scene Seven Dumain's True Identity-

I felt that this was handled well. Once again, I think that just a little more description could've been added in the way Billie had been betrayed but it was very realistic that she would try to deny that Christy knew the whole time and to stay in denial. I'm wondering though if she's still going to try and get her back now that she knows she is evil.

-Scene Eight Billie and Leo-

Yay! I was ecstatic during this scene. I'm so happy that Billie realized all of this. Hopefully Piper will take to it as well as Leo. I'm looking forward to reading how Billie defends Leo from Dumain.

-Scene Nine Piper's Deal-

Oh, I'm liking the sound of Tempus coming back already. His personality is great for a demon. He's actually smart. I also find it very interesting how he enjoys the traditional form of the Underworld, as if it were a government that Nomed would ruin with his anarchy. Glad to see he'll help though. I'm sure Piper will accept.

-Scene Ten Leo and Billie's Deaths

This scene was so touching. Probably one of the more emotional pieces of the episode. Billie just completely made up for everything she's done IMO. I really hope when time is reset that they'll keep those memories so Leo can tell Piper what Billie did.

-Scene Eleven The Reversing of Time-

Oh, that must have been so hard for Piper to make that decision. I really felt for her after seeing everything she already went through to get him back. It was wise of you to make the break in the decision the fact that Leo died right after she saved him. It's also nice to see that Piper was going to thank Cole. Maybe if Cole tries to come back and win Phoebe over, Piper will be somewhat supportive.

-Scene Twelve Back to Life-

Ah, very glad you brought back the sister aspect back into it like Es once pointed out. Like how Piper's first thoughts were to embrace her sisters and not to go off fighting. I have a feeling Nomed will becoming a very big antagonist throughout this season since he seemed to survive. I wonder how Tempus will let that go if the Charmed Ones can't find him.

-Scene Thirteen The Fight-

Darn! I was really wishing Billie would've kept the memories. Still, I like the aspect you're working with though. How different people can change because of certain events in different timelines. It's very interesting to think about. Reminds me of Harry Potter in a way with the time turner. LOL. Maybe that was your inspiration for that part where Phoebe and Paige were startled and said that Piper had just been there a second ago in the last scene. Also, I really liked the part where Paige and Phoebe battled together. I LOVE it when just two of the sisters battle together and show their different combinations of strategies with different sisters. Ah, Billie's little quirp about Phoebe getting old was hilarious and absolutely perfect, especially when Phoebe turned the tables. I really do hope you get her back into her fighting styles.

-Scene Fourteen Coop Into Cole-

Ah, very nice twist there at the end. I'm REALLY looking forward to how this will play out and if he'll stay in Coop's body forever. Perfect cliffhanger.

-Overall-

10/10 for a premiere episode. It had everything: action, emotion, sisterly-bonds, more action. Haha, just the way I like it. Once again, I'm so sorry this review took forever and I hope I can get to the next episode faster than I did this one.
leeanie chapter 2 . 3/29/2009
chapter 2 vitual season9 was good and so was chapter 1 i love the way the way u describe the fighting n the battling the sisters do i look foward to chapter 3...lee p.s. good writing and story telling
atlan2007 chapter 2 . 1/19/2009
Excellent work, I like that you had Billie's projection power come from the Triad, she was way too powerful. I hope that Cole will maintain his S7 character since the one from Cent Charmed was a bit nuts! Looking forward to the next chapter.
Joleca chapter 2 . 1/13/2009
Starting to really really like this one... and thank you so very much for Cole!

And since past has merged with present (the Cole who spent all that time in limbo and re-gained his sanity).. please please let him stay good (and get him and Phoebe back together). It wasn't the real Phoebe who threw that potion, it was a Phoebe created out of his tormented and driven mad mind... I don't think the real Phoebe in her heart ever stopped loving Cole and with him being sane and in control again, hoping she'll remember what her heart really feels and give him another chance to prove himself and open her eyes to see that he's not evil!

looking forward to the next chapter
FanFictionWontLetMeDeleteThis chapter 2 . 1/12/2009
Wow, I loved the chapter, and what a major cliff hanger. I really liked what you did with the story, you know, new twist and turns, especially with Cole. I'm dying to know what happened to Paige in "She's lost in time...". It's killing me. I can't wait until chapter 3 is up. I originally saw this story on shadow tales. The poster is incredible. Good luck with all the writing. (and as I said before) I can't Wait!
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