|Reviews for Searching for the Stars|
| DawnOfNight55 chapter 15 . 5/30/2009
awesome! i really like this
| RACH chapter 15 . 5/29/2009
I LOVE THIS STORY. aND THIS CHAPTER IS REALY GOD. CNT WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE!
| girlinmotion chapter 15 . 5/28/2009
so, i have an idea: edward looks into her eyes while they go over hw the next day or whatever, and sees that she is the mystery girl, and then runs out of her apartment or something...then edward confronts bella and BLAH BLAH, u can finish! it IS you story after all!
| thatxbaseballxgirl chapter 15 . 5/27/2009
That was unexpected!
| LoveThemSexyCullenMen chapter 2 . 5/27/2009
So im not finished reading it but try not to put song lyrics in the story, its kinda of lame and unprofessional.
| Jayleen-Cullen-Whitlock-Hale chapter 15 . 5/27/2009
AAW YES EPOV! LOVED IT, AND IM GLAD HE ISNT LOOKING FOR THE GIRL FROM THE BALL, EVEN THOUGH HE IS RIGHT THERE IN HER FACE
| IamLeahsConscience chapter 15 . 5/27/2009
Alice so say that! Now, Alice fakes sickto go home with Jasper and leave Bella with Edward, Emmett and Rosalie are nowhere to be found, so Edward drives Bella home. on the way Bella askes, being too tempted, if he's found his Cinderella. Edward admits that he isn't looking for her, and she asks why. Then comes the pouring out of the truth that he likes someone who isn't a figment of his imagination just as they pull up to Bella's house. Edward opens the door for her like the gentleman he is, and boom! At the door, Alice is listening. Bela and Edward talk. Edward tells her he likes her, quotes something romantic, then kisses her! Alice squeals and Jasper laughs, ruining the moment, and sudenly Edward is looking for a reaction from Bella when Alice congrtulates them. BElla either runs or not! Oh th suspense!
THis is one of many ideas! Post your next chapter, and if you stil have writer's block I'll keep it coming!
| MilesOfSmiles13 chapter 15 . 5/27/2009
how could edward not realise it was bella at the ball by now. he even looked into her eyes and everythign!
good job though. i've been waiting for this chapter for a while.
| Zors chapter 15 . 5/27/2009
OK-get ready for a long review.
I liked the EPOV a lot, it was definitely a nice surprise. Your chapters and your writing style have definitely improved the more you've been writing, and I feel like this story just keeps getting better. Even though it's been awhile since you've updated, I can still remember all the main plot points and my favorite parts of your story without having to go back and refresh my memory, and that's the sign of a good writer.
As for the whole beta thing-you can try searching for a beta by using the search engine for it. BUT, if you've asked for a beta in an author's note and someone offered, and you've accepted their offer... then congratulations, you have a beta! All you need to do now is exchange emails so that you can send your chapters between the two of you to be edited and stuff. IF you still need a beta... I'm right here ) I'm on summer break already so I've got all this free time and I love to beta.
Now, you said you have writer's block. That sucks. I know what that's like, and it can be completely frustrating. Normally, I feel like an author would go to their beta for help with this, but I have no problem helping now. So basically what I do when I have writer's block is I go drag my little sister into my room where I have the outlines for my story taped to the wall, and I make her talk out all my ideas with me. So what I'm going to do here is talk out ideas, and if you want to talk back, um reply to this or send me a PM...
Okay so you've got the whole "Cinderella" trajectory going for your story. The little twist you've put in is that Edward is starting to forget about his Cinderella because he's falling in love with Bella. To me, that's a good sign because it shows that Edward is more realistic, and can recognize what's really in front of him, whereas in other stories like this the main guy is always too caught up with the mystery girl, and it's like he doesn't really know the person he's in love with, and when he finds out it's his good friend, it's like he's transferring all these ideals and over-the-top emotions onto this poor friend, and it never seems really sincere.
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM BECAUSE YOU WROTE A STORY WITH GOOD CHARACTERIZATION! )
So instead, you've got an Edward that's in love with the right person. The next step-and this is where you have writer's block, I believe-can go in several different directions.
Possible Next Step Number One: The next chapter could be all in EPOV, with Edward deciding that he should act on his feelings, and even though he's nervous, he begins to drop little hints to Bella to start to show her how he feels. You could switch to Bella thinking about these little signals and wondering if she's interpreted them right, and you could write about how confused she is. She could even make up her mind that no matter what little games she thinks Edward might be playing, that she also wants to do something about her feelings. She might think that the only way for her to get Edward is to finally reveal herself as the mystery girl-and then you could leave that with a cliffhanger somehow, and then the next chapter after that could be the big reveal, and this is where a line pops into my head, because that is what happens to me when I think of story plots.
*ahem* the line is:
Edward: "But you knew that I was looking for the girl from the dance. If it was you all along, why wouldn't you just tell me?"
And then Bella would go on to explain herself and it could be a really cute fluffy chapter.
Possible Next Step Number Two: The next chapter could be all in BPOV, and there's rumors circulating now about who the mystery girl could be. Bella's still holding back about revealing herself-why? There could be several reasons. One: she wants Edward to like her for her, and not as some enigma that he only knew for one night. She wants there to be more of a true connection, and she thinks that revealing herself is a cheap way of forming that connection. Two: she could be holding back because she thinks that once she reveals herself, Edward will be all like, "oh, it's only you?" and he'll still only want friendship out of her. She thinks that since he only wants friendship out of her now, her revealing herself won't necessarily change that. OR both of those reasons could be the reason she holds back (not just one or the other). A great cliffhanger for a chapter like this would be some other random girl coming forward and claiming to be the Cinderella-type mystery girl.
Whew-well, that was the most I've ever written in a reply! I hope it helped. And please PM me if you still need me to help you talk out ideas or beta or something, you know?
| 8racecar47 chapter 15 . 5/27/2009
maybe in the next chapter all six of them could do something and edward and bella could get seperated from them and thats when edard tells bella that she is the mystery girl
post more soon
i leave in a week and a half for europe
| x TWILIGHT x OBSESSED x chapter 15 . 5/27/2009
:D YES! EPOV AT LAST! WOO HOO!
| WereWolf1010 chapter 15 . 5/27/2009
Poor Edward, he still hasn't gotten the clue. Update soon, I love it so far. :)
| TouchofRedemptionHintofElation chapter 15 . 5/27/2009
LOVE IT! I cant wait tor read more!
| buggeroffnothere chapter 15 . 5/27/2009
| BerryEbilBunny chapter 15 . 5/26/2009
Dude I wish you would write a whole lot faster! Anyways you have to go to the Beta Reader search engine to find a beta! I figured that out today! And you send them a meassage to ask to be a beta for your story!