|Reviews for Cataclysm|
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/13/2013
The beginning ... So sad !
| Melizza-XoXo chapter 1 . 4/16/2011
I love it. It's accurate-almost terrifyingly so. This, this is how I live. I'm on drugs to help me now, bu wow. I almost cried reading this, it brings back so much. Thank you.
| penName111 chapter 2 . 3/5/2009
Love it, hope you you date soon.
| TheHappiestGirlOnEarth chapter 2 . 2/6/2009
please update soon!
| Conductor of Darkness chapter 1 . 1/6/2009
This is interesting. Probably something I can get into. I really can't wait to read more of this.
| Kishi chapter 1 . 1/5/2009
This is an interesting idea. An A/U where Zuko is insane and has DID. I like the descriptions of the personalities and I like also that there is a dialogue going on in there.
There were a couple things that I think need work.
First of all, the opening narrative half where you explain how Zuko is who is today... is unnecessary. When I was reading it, I was reminded of a news report. That kind of approach for bringing-up-to-speed is good for... say, pulp stories from the 1940s. And it would be awesome if that was the kind of story you were telling. As it isn't, I don't think it works.
In fact, I'd say that the biggest problem is that you're telling us too much. Instead of writing the story itself and showing us, scene by scene what his life is, you're telling us.
I mean, for instance, check out the names. Kanashii, Kuroyami, Akurei. Sadness, black darkness, and evil spirit. I promise, we already know what kind of story this is. This is the difference between having a theme and having a theme and beating the reader over the head with it.
So, in short: trust your story. Just show it to us - it will tell itself if you let it.