Reviews for The Rat Trap
shywr1ter chapter 1 . 1/11/2009
Sorry to be so far behind with this review!

I really like the overall feel and mood and 'look' of this story- I get the same visual images in reading this as I do with "Not All Informants..." which really impressed me: it must be in the way you describe the city and the action fitting into the environment, but your stories have done more than any others recently to renew in my head the look of the show, which always struck me as one of high points of the show, how well they did at creating the squalor and decay of a Seattle 10 years into a depression.

There's a combination, too, of that visual image with how the plot and characters fit into it as well - I'm not doing very well at explaining what I mean! Maybe clearer to say that in reading your fic I have a strong sense of watching another episode, one with the added interest of not being sure what's in store as a mystery unfolds - very, very satisfying to read!

Cool job, too, of not just blending 2 sets of prompts, but bouncing segments between prompters - a nice touch!

I love the subterranean "mall" (with your familiarity with Seattle I have to ask if this is based on a real place?) and the very fitting post-Pulse atmosphere it has. Of course, I had to love the hot & sweaty nekkidity and the (then-obigatory?) shower scene... lots & lots to appreciate in this one, that's for sure!

Glad you joined in with the Christmas exchange, and extra thanks for not only doing double duty, but for setting up a story that clearly has more to come! Very, very enjoyable!
Mari83 chapter 1 . 1/9/2009
Shirtless repair Logan and rescue Logan, yay:-)

“Well, that settles it, Logan. Conspiracy theorists are your specialty. You should get along fine with Chuck. And you definitely don’t need me.”

And something about him made Logan nervous. Chuck was slightly paranoid and very smart, a dangerous combination around Eyes Only. "

Chuck and his thoughts and suspicions about Eyes Only are such an interesting idea, the danger or being revealed not by an enemy, somebody who would necessarily want to harm him but someone with the knowledge and overview over the scene and the obsession of trying to make sense of the world. And even though Logan’s suspicion and unease are spot on, Max’s teasing is nicely them.

“You did this, Max,” he whispered. His lips slid down, skimming over her eyelids, kissing her cheek. Her lips felt hot against his. Everything else faded away. The cold of the wind. The cold of the hard stone against his back.

Sensual but hold-back, just like them. I’ve always liked to see what followed that last scene of Rising and here like the bittersweetness of seeing it in retrospect while they’re already back in their safety-mode. Fun to see Logan for once being reckless and just enjoying life.

"Even when some of the nicer places in downtown Seattle had reopened, these landmark waterfront restaurants along Elliot Bay had remained shuttered. West Seattle was too far away for the overworked police force to patrol, so it had remained dark."

What I like most, apart from the M/Lness, is the detailed, atmospheric description, the comparison of the old Seattle with what it has become after the Pulse, Logan sharing a bit of his history, connection to the town. Especially the elaborated concept of the Rat Trap is great, perfect for showing how the economy and trade are recovering and working quite efficiently, but in a different, more third-world-like way. (Love the detail with the solar battery chargers, so perfectly logical)

"Even more acutely, he felt awkward about having cared so much about walking, about feeling that everything really had changed just because he had gotten out of the chair. Especially when Max had said it didn’t matter to her."

Interesting self-awareness, I really like how he’s able to recognize this on an introspection leve.

Even though it’s not his fault, getting into such a situation somehow is typically Sketchy. I certainly like Logan switching into action mode to rescue him despite the risk of showing his abilities. (His gunshot noise source is almost NCIS Tony like:-)

"He chewed his lip as he stared at the screen. He cropped the shot and enlarged it. He slid it over, next to the still shot of the familiar eyes above the red-white-and-blue banner and superimposed the two images.

“Gotcha.”

Cool movie-like ending, leaving all open just when it seemed to end on a relaxed Max and Logan scene.
annie200 chapter 1 . 1/9/2009
The only thing better than a great story is a great story with your name on it! Thank you so much for this. It's always great to read something that is a bit original but still has the S1 feel to it, and this definitely does. Off to read it again now!
nattylovesu chapter 1 . 1/8/2009
Hey

This was a fun read!

Love how things that are popular now are still in play...underground malls...motorised car racing...

Love Logan's ingenuity...so Logan...))

Will there b a part 2?
lisa316 chapter 1 . 1/7/2009
Merry Christmas to me! ;D

This was awesome, but I think what I love most about it (as with so many of your stories) was the way you describe the setting. You just have this amazing way of taking Seattle and superimposing the pulse over it in a way that makes me totally believe that this is exactly what the city is going to look like in 11 years.

The idea of the rat trap is brilliant, and reminds me a little bit of the way the jewlery district in Los Angeles is set up now combined with those awful underground shopping plazas in TJ. It makes perfect sense that after the pulse, working electronics would be scarce and valuable and most likely illicit, and this seems like a really natural progression of how things would end up. And I always wanted a back story for how Logan got his computer equipment!

Bonus points for granting two wish lists at once, double bonus points for getting Logan out of his shirt in a new and creative fashion, even more bonus points for Chuck, who was an outstanding original character, and HUGE bonus points for that post Rising flashback scene! The idea that he would take her to the edge of the city like that (once again, amazing use of location) is now part of my personal canon.

Thanks so much for a lovely Christmas fic!
ion bond chapter 1 . 1/6/2009
This is delightful. You're excellent at worldbuilding; the Rat Trap is a great concept, and I love the image of the guys racing remote controlled cars around the fountain and listening to mash-ups. The abandoned restaurants were nice too. Do you know Seattle, or do you just seem like you do?

I enjoyed Logan's problem-solving, and the light tone of the second-to-last section. I hope Chuck can keep a secret! This seems self-contained, but I'd be eager to read more!
Marcus Sylenus chapter 1 . 1/6/2009
Very nice, loved how you managed the parallel action.

Although I'm a little curious, will you end it there, or are you planing on continuing the story?