|Reviews for Trapped in Hogwarts|
| KoreanMusicFan chapter 8 . 8/22/2015
please go through your story and remove the underline from your writing, it makes the story harder to read.
| kyle.hill.7965692 chapter 6 . 6/22/2015
Of course fall can be *chilly* Scotland ain't sub tropical you know. There is more to the world then just warm climates like California that most people are biased too that have no seasons other then *fire season* and *mud slide* season. Either your big multi million dollar mansion is up in smokes or gets knocked over by a mudslide because you had it put in a dumb location without doing extensive research of the area.
| kyle.hill.7965692 chapter 5 . 6/22/2015
Despite the rushed fic I like how your OC is smarter then just *going along* with everything like a piece of baggage being banged about.
| kyle.hill.7965692 chapter 3 . 6/22/2015
Umm instead of saying *what felt like forever* describe the passing of time such as the daylight to night as nobody cries that long and not notice the HUGE time frame issue.
That is much more descriptive then the generic over cliched "It felt like forever" or *It felt like all of eternity* or any of those variations that is used like an elementary school story. Are you sure you're not an elementary kid or have been rolled back a few years?
I actually had to reread that section which normally I don't have to do because I honestly got confused when suddenly it shifted to *There you are* and about the *rain* coming down. In fact when did the rain start? Like I said you should've done the passage of time more realistic.
Maybe one way to do it would be have her fall asleep from crying and then waking up to the sun has gone down and the rain starts coming in from that weather frontal system.
Believe it or not that kind of steady rain actually comes from *occluded* fronts that are slow to pass when there is usually a series of storms that get stuck together oozing in making often the dreariest conditions.
The passage of a cold front is often sharper but less length and clearing right behind it with visibility dropping during the heaviest of rain but immediately improving with a fresh NW wind and the air pressure rising behind the front.
Often in a mid latitude climate like Britain or the Eastern USA during the winter it will drop below freezing with clear skies and summer time bring relief from hotter/warmer weather and the air is REALLY fresh.
I enjoy the passage of a cold front actually as long as I am dressed for it!
In fact WHAT IS the name for your OC. I never really see it so in a coversation with a whole bunch of other characters I can't really tell who is saying what!
| kyle.hill.7965692 chapter 2 . 6/22/2015
Good start and premises but simply just too damn short! Your OC has the right idea figuring out herself how to get home by reading what she can and maybe better yet have her make allies that could help her other then Dumb Old Door who has a nasty habit of taking the *back seat* approach and being more *reactionary* type.
| Love.Fiction.2016 chapter 22 . 6/27/2013
| Love.Fiction.2016 chapter 20 . 6/27/2013
Awww poor Cedric...Hope they are together soon.
| Love.Fiction.2016 chapter 16 . 6/27/2013
Dun dun dun...
| Love.Fiction.2016 chapter 14 . 6/25/2013
Awww Cedric was dead sweet XD
| Love.Fiction.2016 chapter 11 . 6/25/2013
you could add some detail into the romance. but other than that its good:)
| Love.Fiction.2016 chapter 8 . 6/25/2013
awww that was cute
| Love.Fiction.2016 chapter 6 . 6/25/2013
You should take the underline thing of the text...but good chapter
| Love.Fiction.2016 chapter 2 . 6/25/2013
Awww they like each other already
| Love.Fiction.2016 chapter 1 . 6/25/2013
Well this looks really really good:D
| sjspatz19 chapter 17 . 8/24/2011
I didn't expect Nikki to end up there but a good twist. Can't wait to read the next chapter but will to have to wait till I finish work.