|Reviews for 03 A Normal Life|
| skywiseskychan chapter 20 . 12/17/2012
I want to know more about just what happened between third and fourth classes on Caitlin's seventeenth birthday between her and Sarah!
On to this chapter,
You repeat yourself on Kim having "picked up a lot of our songbook already" You probably forgot to delete it after moving it from place to place. I am a bit surprised at Anna 'flaunting' her powers to the boys on the boat. It seems almost reckless for her and so I'm just not sure why it happened, a mistake or a calculation I didn't know she made. I did like learning more about the four rich kids and more details behind the beating debacle. You might consider some re-ordering of that bit however as you have them commenting/thinking that the girls might be more willing after one of them scored. But this is after the conclusion that doing so will get you beaten within an inch of your life. It seems more reasonable that they wouldn't want to risk a 'mob' father's wrath a second time.
It's interesting to see the evolution of their next home. Always fun to see Anna flirting as well, and the odd mix of legal/illegal activity that "the lynch's" partake of. I am going to have to reread the whole story now that you've been getting more chapters out. To see how it flows with more information.
The first time through the new safehouse that Anna put so much love attention and detail into was a complete surprise. This time though readers will know that it exists and what she's been doing to prepare it. I think that will have a definite effect on the impression the new home makes.
| skywiseskychan chapter 19 . 9/26/2012
The difference between the girls walking the quad was hilarious. I love the theoretical 'rules' of attraction your putting forward here. I certainly don't remember anything quite like that but hey, who am I to judge. I was really more of a Joel anyway. Caitlin is just so... obtuse at the start of this chapter its a bit frightening.
It's nice to see some more about Sarah and where her mind was at during this time. Some of the regular crush/obsession/attraction that goes on around that age. I also liked Caitlin's 'dry tease' and getting to learn a bit more about her relationship with Sarah. It's one that's talked about a lot, but the easy companionship portion of it is not really shown much as you have stated that it's been evolving. This chapter is nice in that it starts to explain why its done so even if only hinting.
| skywiseskychan chapter 18 . 3/12/2012
Laurel ah the amusement factor, I do so enjoy your bit part characters and the life you have breathed into them. I especially like that she doesn't care what she's wearing at the time, as far as it affects her feeling of security/vulnerability.
Then there's Bobby, still thinking ill of his father. Or maybe just projecting what he might have done with Laurel if she were tossing herself at him. Then he has Cat doing so in a friendly way and it doesn't even phase him. He really does only have eyes for Sarah who still doing her 'look don't touch' routine has got to be one of the most agrivating things ever.
"It's not what you're thinking." Anna turned toward the house. "Not that I really know what you're thinking."
But it’s the right thing to say when it appears as though a romantic tryst is occurring with another woman watching from afar. The cliché, Anna just had to say it, even though it’s a good thing she did as I'm not sure how much jelousy Sarah could take without the hypocracy of her own feelings and thoughts warring in her head would make her explode. Although I see she never did get around to finding out if Grunge's billfold was empty.
I'm also curious, how long did it take to figure out just the right way to start the conversation between Roxanne and Grunge?
| skywiseskychan chapter 17 . 1/4/2012
Again one of the things I most like about your writing is that your characters are people. I like the complexities that your bringing out and how you have them acting and relating to one another. Particularly your community college student old soul, mixed with youthful need.
It is of course interesting that they would all be willing to just randomly go meet with people after such a short time even considering they're Gens. Or maybe its just been too long since I've been reading the whole of the story. I like that each of the three does have an outside 'source' more or less of disquiet that could drive them to do so however. Amy's drugs, Cally's varying discomfort and outspoken over acceptance of the role she's decided to live, and Laurel is just intriguing. Of the three even if her story is at its heart the most pedestrian and boring its Laurel who I want to learn more about after the evening. Also nice save by Eddie, even if he did miss the chance to get in a girls pants.
| Whyt Wulf chapter 16 . 12/17/2011
I've been away from fanfic for quite a while, and I'm glad you're the author I came back to. I knew our Man in Black was an imposing figure, but you bring him to life. I have missed your stories very much, and I'm looking forward to the new additions to your list.
| Stormbringer951 chapter 16 . 3/15/2011
Second part of my review.
We get some banter between Roxy and Anna, while Sarah pointedly continues to try to ostracize her. The boat boys arrive again, and Sarah deals with them ... memorably.
And we finally get to see Jack get *very* angry. Definitely the protective father in her interactions with Roxy and the way he makes Eric pay is downright awesome (if very wince-worthy). Ouch.
| Stormbringer951 chapter 15 . 3/15/2011
A double update! Nice. I guess I'll post two reviews, one for each.
Roxy gets herself into trouble (as per usual for the Gens) while just trying to have a normal night out. The use of the men from a couple of chapters back was a nice touch, and it shows just how precariously balanced their attempt at a normal life is.
I didn't actually dislike Eric until I read the chapter through the second time and started catching all the subtext to his actions. He's coherent and charming; Roxy getting away from him qualifies as a minor miracle. The amount of effort he puts into projecting his outward appearance, and the description of his bathroom, really drives the point home.
| skywiseskychan chapter 16 . 3/12/2011
Oh I just had to laugh when Mr. Lynch began to demonstrate just how he planned to mess up that pretty car. I also liked how you used this chapter to totally pull away the curtain on Eric and reveal just exactly how much of a calculating ass he is. The why behind his driving being just another part of his own self serving ambition.
| skywiseskychan chapter 15 . 3/12/2011
Ahh, wow, I don't know that I've ever seen someone who's perfected the art of seduction to that insanely honed of a degree. It's not surprising at all that Roxy fell for it. She's just lucky she's got a nice writer looking out for her to let her blurt out her age, which might have been the only thing to save her in that situation. Anything else I'm sure he had plans for how to get around, by, or past. I'm actually a little surprised she wasn't sick in his car. At 98lbs he might have been close to overdoing it with the champagne depending on just how much of that bottle he got into her. Though there is Gen to consider he wouldn't be aware of it.
| skywiseskychan chapter 14 . 3/11/2011
This is a somewhat cruel cliffhanger. However, given so much more has been written past this point I suppose that we know nothing too serious can happen. (said to prod you into making it something serious just to be contrary.) Even so it's quite good fun to see a slightly differnt vulture begin to circle around Bobby, and to see where Sarah is sneaking off to. I'm a little curious if you will relate one of the tales of Coyote to us that will have bearing on the story itself in the future or not, as certainly there are a lot of storys about that old man.
| Stormbringer951 chapter 14 . 3/11/2011
A glamorous frat house party; not exactly where I'd expected to see the Gens, but that's not the only surprise. The meat of the chapter is some character development for Lori and Joel, one of your OCs, which is nice. I sense that one or the other of them will become important in a future plotline - I'm already dead certain that Joel is headed for a career at IO's research division.
We get a scene from Sarah, who's helping out at a shelter for abused kids. That's a nice touch, and really shows off Sarah's kind side which is something we need more in the relatively unsympathetic early stories (it doesn't help that we get more of Anna's POV than hers). Of course, the chapter sets up Roxy's disappearance right at the end in a neat little cliffhanger.
Will you be updating this or Adult Education next? Or maybe Man of Principle?
| skywiseskychan chapter 13 . 12/13/2010
Ahh the plot thickens, or at least widens a bit. Your showing where there are plenty of holes in this life that could get them caught and the other aspects that work to keep them hidden. I am a little surprised that you let them get put into school with real names so that there was anything for a search to find on their history before the IO gap in their lives. That strikes me as one of the large nono's as even a cursory search of current names could find their missing Gen's. Of course I came to this from the Burn Notice side so you'll have to forgive me a little for such things when entering your comic world.
| Stormbringer951 chapter 13 . 12/12/2010
Sometimes, it feels like I'm the only person who reviews this story. Heh. More of the 'Dad and Lad' addition to A Normal Life; a buddy-road-trip element with Eddie, Bobby and Jack Lynch. Well, camping trip so far, but let's see how things pan out.
The plot moves ahead at quite the pace in that segment of the story, especially with more revealing details about Jack's youth, but the few paragraphs from Roxy tagged onto the end of the chapter didn't quite fit. It seemed like filler (or, more appropriately, the beginning of the next chapter about the girls).
| Stormbringer951 chapter 12 . 8/14/2010
Not much to this chapter in the way of action, although I see a lot of characterization and a little plot token to be cashed in somewhere down the line. The most interesting part is the new character, Christie, who I see may have a bit of an expanded role in the latter half of the series, what with 'La Resistance' and so on within the Shop itself.
The second scene with the pervy college kids and the Mafiosos was brilliant; just the way you described it made it seem that much more funny ("I need to pick up an Italian cookbook").
| MT Carr chapter 11 . 7/20/2010
Sorry for not reviewing other chapters (I start reading untill i stop) I like this storry I am not sure if you studied gen13 well or are good at making good new chariter deitals . trying to long wind out pleas continue soon .