|Reviews for Deadly Attraction|
| natcityjp chapter 19 . 2/10/2014
I love this story. So Bella wasn't from Forks? I look forward to reading more. Thanks.
| SelinaShadow chapter 19 . 9/23/2013
I really like you're story! Keep it up
| kantorkan chapter 19 . 9/19/2013
I am really liking the story so far so how about not taking three years to update,huh?
| kantorkan chapter 15 . 9/19/2013
Alice is starting to sound like Emo Eddie.
| kantorkan chapter 10 . 9/19/2013
Bella seems to be good around weird.
| kantorkan chapter 7 . 9/19/2013
Poor Alice,if I could I would hold her.
| kantorkan chapter 5 . 9/19/2013
over reacting much?
| UnguidedLight chapter 19 . 9/17/2013
| ScOut4It chapter 5 . 7/25/2013
Another critique (sorry!) is the flashbacks. It is probably just my preference, but I really don't like to feel like I'm not 'in the present' while reading. And having two chapters in a row start with a flashback, just gets under my skin a bit. Luckily, it was short. No vision for Alice this time...
Surprise! Bella brought by fate since Alice is not actively pursuing her - yet.
I likey this!
/At the same time, a strong sense of possessiveness and protectiveness over Bella rouse in me like a lion stirring from its sleep. She was so fragile, so breakable and vulnerable in my arms; just exerting a bit of strength on my part would easily bruise her./
I hope that Alice stops the self-denial now. Vampires shouldn't be having headaches and obviously Bella is meant to be in her arms, whether Bella knows it or not.
Woah, fast realization by Bella about Alice 'not' being human.
I thought she might take Alice's reaction as being offended rather than go for the paranormal. Hey, she's a believer.
| ScOut4It chapter 4 . 7/25/2013
/I didn't really bothered to make any effort to hide my blatant observation of her. Nor did I cared about how statue-esque I looked. Or perhaps, I couldn't even pull myself together to care. My eyes just fell on her and refused to look anywhere else. I was just too... absorbed. /
That's what I'm talking about :)
I wonder if any of her staff at least noticed?
/The way the tip of her pink tongue flick out against the top row of her even, white teeth when she say my name.
When she say my name…
"Alice, Alice, Alice…"/
Clearly this falls currently under the category of 'one-sided infatuation'.
I'm sure that's bound to change in time. Alice will not be ignored. Though Bella will apparently ;) Naw, there was just too much Bella for the voice.
Oh, wait. That's Edward calling out Alice's name. Tricky author.
Dude, if a limb can be reattached, then I hope hair can...
I definitely not "Team Edward". He always trespasses on people's private thoughts, and their desires to be left alone. I'm glad he helped Alice not lie to herself though. But, it would be nice to see her interact with some of her other family in the future. And if he didn't just wander into her room unannounced.
In the interest of your wishes indicated by your A/n, a couple technical points.
The difference between American and UK spelling isn't really a big deal, but the terminology can take the reader out of the location that the character is supposed to be in if one isn't careful. So an example of what I think isn't worth worrying about first, is the spelling; centre in UK is center in US, no biggie. But, "boot" in Britain is "trunk" in US, so then I think, unless Alice is from there, the author is. Therefore, it pulls me out of the story. Something like Harry Potter, should maintain its location terminology and not gain US words (unless the character is from there), and vice versa I think. Just something to consider :)
| ScOut4It chapter 3 . 7/25/2013
I like Michelle. Nice to have a strong, attractive, woman in power. I hoped for a little competition, but a good role-model is appreciated too.
I'm thinking the request came in pretty late because Alice made the request specifically for Bella. . . Am I right? I hope so. I do like some underhanded orchestrating by vamps.
Lucky that Bella is in a field which is perfect for this move.
So that's the secret:
/But nevertheless, despite her smart-casual look, her appearance still screamed style./
Put a lot of thought into 'pulling off' the casual look ;) Fashion. I admit that I'm as clueless as Bella on that one (if you couldn't tell ;).
Maybe I'm more clueless that Bella. . . She seems to actually 'get' it.
/From the plunging necklines, the intricate details and the unique designs, it was obvious that the designer is a meticulous, creative and a very daring person./
Or at least has a good eye, hence photography!
| ScOut4It chapter 2 . 7/25/2013
Nicely detailed feeding with the buck.
Vampires and werewolves have it too easy when it comes to eventually 'knowing' when they've found the 'one'. Now Alice is confused, but she'll figure it out soon enough.
I hope your Alice is a little dark, it's fun to throw some danger into the mix.
| ScOut4It chapter 1 . 7/25/2013
I like AU!
I like bookstore connections too :)
I thought that maybe Bella would be in the fashion industry as an intern or something, which is very OOC for her, right? ;)
So, smileys much?
Anyway, one comment I disagree with. Alice thought this:
/Either she has quite minimal self-confidence, or she has totally zero fashion sense./
I would argue that a person with maximum self-confidence, would know that a paper bag looks good on them (and even sometimes 'that' is considered fashion, just look at Zoolander's "Derelict" line).
Nice writing! I like your more mature and slightly edgier Alice.
| CECILIA chapter 5 . 7/19/2013
PLEASE, UPDATE SOMETHING!111
| Dimladris chapter 19 . 6/20/2013
This is an awesome story, I'm loving everything from the plot to the writing style. I'll definitely continue on reading this story and I can't wait for your next installment.
Good Luck in your Endeavors.