|Reviews for Firefly|
| Magikoopa981 chapter 25 . 3/7
Phenomenal. Your years of hard work have produced quite the piece, something that is greatly enjoyable, even if it is hardly Mario related.
I believe your strongest talent is your conversational writing. God damn do I wish I could have my characters talk as realistically as that.
It was a little jarring at first being forced to imagine all of these characters as humans, but it certainly works in its own way. I'm not entirely sure why you framed this as a Mario story. If you went more in-depth and polished the work I think this could be literally published- just with the names changed.
Something else that's special about this story compared to most I read on here is the feeling you get that it could never end. The world you've created is so thick, detailed, and full of unexplained mysteries (the mark of a truly wonderful world) that if you hadn't been stating in your notes that the story was almost over I'd believe that it was maybe halfway through.
It sounds like there's little chance that you'll be writing a sequel, which is a shame. Hopefully you'll consider writing a novel of some kind.
Well, it looks like this was a good time for me to get into your story, with your updates coming at a faster pace. Congratulations on such a utterly fantastic piece.
| MissScorp chapter 1 . 1/29
This was a really interesting story. I wasn’t sure how I felt about the story at first; there was so much going on that I was kinda on an overload. After I sat back and really examined the elements of the story, I appreciate what you were doing with this. It’s very different from the norm, a bit of a take upon a live action Need For Speed where the racing becomes more of the foreground and the interactions of the participants secondary. I really appreciate that. Awesome job on it in fact!
This line here: ((Their kart rocketed off of the wooden ramp, flew over the lake, and landed smoothly on the other side, snagging a stray Double Item box on the way.)) is just effortless in detailing the terms of the race, the mindset of the racer and in delivering me straight into the heart of the action.
Again, here with this line: ((In one perfect, graceful leap, Bowser's Kart flew over the geysers a millisecond before they blew, leaving King Boo and Petey Piranha to drive into a wall of boiling water.)) you toss me into the heart of the race. I can feel Bowser’s Kart flying over the geysers and can imagine them as they blow and take out the other racers who are behind him.
Love the dialogue here: (("Little cocky for first place, dontcha think?"
"Making no sense, ape. First is the best there is.")). Really flows nicely and creates a nice characterization for both Kong and Bowser. I also loved the back and forth between, it really showcases how there are not any enemies among the racers, just racers who like to race and will cut up on each other. That might change as the story progresses of course, but that’s just the vibe that I am getting at this moment.
The play upon simple imagery here: ((Mushroom City, where the eighteen-wheelers stop for no one. The idea brought a smile to Bowser's face as the dark world blurred around them.)) just makes it really easy to put together a scene for the world that you are working to create. I also love how you create real world places like a dive-bar, or a truck stop in which to have the characters congregate. It brings things into a real perspective and makes this feel like less of a game and something more noir in nature.
I seriously chuckled here: ((It began to rain; he scooted under an awning, so his feet alone became soaked. Whatever. He needed his nicotine.)) with this line. Somehow imagining Bowser as a chain smoker just doesn’t seem right, but at the other end of the spectrum, it’s a perfect character flaw to give him.
In all, this was a really interesting twist upon the Mario Kart verse. Fantastic job!
| MessengerOfDreams chapter 23 . 1/10
This is probably your best chapter yet. No joke.
Like, it had mellowed out for awhile, but it managed to spike up after the explosion and change everything around, yet I could still follow it. Just, bam, blam, kabam, and I'm not left the same. The development of key characters? Excellent. The plot? Holy shit. Giga Bowser shined this round, I think he was amazing. I also hear him in Willem DeFoe's voice. I just love the arc you brought the main characters through and yet another cliffhanger that makes me want more, damn it.
I'm gonna be sad when this ends but I'm looking forward to seeing how it's done.
Keep it up!
| TheWordMasterofFiction chapter 22 . 12/31/2013
Whoa, two updates in a week! I haven't had this much fanfiction to read in years! xD
Since Rosalina is my favorite female character in video games, it made me happy to see a chapter focused on her, especially one with a flashback to her point of view. I get the feeling that she is somehow involved in the death of Bowser's parents though, but the why and how has yet to be revealed (if she actually is involved, that is). All these shifting political points makes this whole fic have a different and unique level of depth, and I rather enjoy it. It brings a new spin to the world of Mario Kart, and I'd love to see a bit more of it mixed in with the high-octane racing that already takes place.
Anyways, fantastic little teaser of a chapter, even though it was short enough to make me really want to read more. :P Keep writing, my friend- I'll eagerly await the next installment!
| TheWordMasterofFiction chapter 21 . 12/29/2013
Fantastic. Just fantastic.
It's been a while since I've see an update, but wow, you don't fail to impress and get me excited to read. Everything about this fic so far has been so tantlyzing and amazing- you use so much detail when you write, and it just hooks the reader right in. I wish more people would read this, because you, my friend, have written one of, if not THE best fanfic I've ever seen. Hats off to you, and I look forward to reading more in the future.
| IrishPanther chapter 15 . 7/20/2013
Nice work with this chapter! I feel awful for Professor Gadd's death, as I was also wondering how he would help Bowser out in the All-Cup (probably dealing with Dry Bones in my opinion). It didn't seem like Giga killed him physically, but I do think he aided with poisoning him; makes me wonder why he reacted that quickly to Bowser's acquisition. And nice job of throwing in that paint brush from Sunshine into here; now I'm wondering what purpose that'll serve to him later on.
Loved the conversation between Toad and Junieo (who is actually Baby, if I was reading that right). Glad to see them care for each other like brothers (wait, they are, aren't they?). I'm now interested to know what Junieo was talking about when he referred to Bowser and the firebender...I mean, wow, that was really intense; and to think, Bowser doesn't know anything about it. I wonder what his reaction will be in the morning when he asks around. And aww, he gave Junieo the giant paint brush...now I'm ready to see this thing in action (right after the Gala, of course!).
No mistakes were spotted, so nice work with that! I cannot wait to see what's in store next chapter!
| IrishPanther chapter 14 . 7/18/2013
As always, you did an amazing job with this chapter! Loved the conversation between Birdo, Yoshi, and Petey in the beginning; something that the contestants need before the first race...some drama back home, and adding it amongst themselves! Great way of depicting Petey's dialogue apart, though it confuses me on how he communicates since there's no quotations around his speech; does he regularly talk? Or was this so as not to confuse the readers?
Nice job with the race! Wow, Rosalina and her Thrower is going to be one tough cookie to bring down...and here I thought Bowser and Toadette had the All-Cup in the bag. At least they secured third (behind Yoshi and Birdo) and placed, which is a good thing in my opinion. And yes, who are those newcomers (mainly the Jeremiah team) doing so well; this'll be interesting as the story progress on!
Loved the post-race commentaries going on; Bowser's answers were something he'd say (nice work with characterization there!), and Rosalina seems to have it out for someone (most likely Polari...maybe not). Again, it'll be interesting to see how this all comes to play later on down the road.
Again, no mistakes were spotted, so well done with that! I'm intrigued to see what occurs in the next chapter!
| IrishPanther chapter 13 . 7/16/2013
I see, an Interlude before we start the racing...I like the way you think.
I loved what you did with this chapter. Inserting a flashback of sorts without really telling us that there's going to be one in here. I didn't know until halfway through that this wasn't really happening...lawyers and all that going on. Who's the boy? And the driver? Why aliens?
Nice work with inserting Rosalina in here, and nice job of putting in what happened to Bowser and his life. Though I've read this somewhere before, you made it more informational, and even more suspenseful and dramatic than the one before this. Excellent work, my friend!
And what a way to wrap this chapter up; getting us all caught up with how the Firefly Team came to be. And who would have thunk it; Daisy's reasoning behind caffeine highs is to make sure nobody breaks into her car...understandable, but still crazy!
In terms of SPAG, no mistakes spotted, so well done with that! I cannot wait until the Cup starts (hopefully) next chapter; it's going to be epic, I'm sure of it!
| IrishPanther chapter 12 . 7/16/2013
So that's the end of Part One...lovely; can't wait for the start of Part Two next chapter, and more importantly, the start of the All-Cup! XD
So this is when the introductions start for the tourney; kind of like a pregame before the actual game, I suppose. Nice announcement made by the King; I thought it would be something totally different, and then Bowser and Toadette would be ruined! But glad to see all things working out. And lovely job on the countdown - description was pure gold!
Nice work in the beginning as well, portraying the awkwardness, and maybe a bit of bickering, between Rosalina and Dry Bones. I wonder what those two will be getting into when the chapters keep coming up.
And yes, I am confused about all things politics, so I'll wait and see on that!
No mistakes, so nice work there! Intrigued to see the start of the Cup next chapter!
| IrishPanther chapter 11 . 7/16/2013
Excellent job with this chapter! Now it's time to dissect.
Yikes, a party at two in the morning...better yet, a second wedding reception. Like, who in their right mind would hold an event like that that late? Hmm, I guess it happens here.
Oh, just great...the King is there, along with Latiku and Dry Bones - and his married sister and her newlywed husband. Jeez, that's an amazing lineup. Nice work with the conversation between Latiku and Bowser; left me wondering what in the world is going on? So apparently, Rosalina and Dry Bones have a thing (mentioned last chapter), but more than that, and if something were to happen, Rosalina would be set for a great while.
And what did Dry Bones meant when he said that he won his lot over. Did he aid those races during the last few chapters? Did he assist any of Bowser's foes during them? Helped Bowser out? This guy gives me the creeps.
Nice work with the ending during that drive-about with Bowser and Toadette. Yay for mastering the Double Dash, but dear, you scared me when Toadette almost died. Thank goodness for that blue star; where'd it came from has to do with whoever texted Bowser at the end. I'm glad to see Bowser feeling real guilty about almost killing Toadette; seeing that makes me realize that they are a great pair that care for each other, and are ready for the All-Cup to take place!
No mistakes were spotted, so nice work there! I'm interested to see what goes down in the next chapter!
| IrishPanther chapter 10 . 7/15/2013
Great job with this chapter!
Now we meet Rosalina, who upon first description seems to be a woman who knows a lot of information. And that's a good thing. It also helped clear up some questions that I had in my head, including Bowser and his parents, and that all came to be. Such a same, rigging and gambling to get money...remember, money greed...always!
And another lovely tidbit, Pauline Peach. Never made that connection before, as well as Rozetta Rosaline (or if I read that right in the chapter). Great information we have now for future chapters, including Dry Bones wanting Rosaline, why Peach and Bowser seem awkward around each other, along with a few other topics that were discussed.
In terms of SPAG, no mistakes were spotted, so well done with that! I cannot wait to see what's in store for next chapter!
| Tune4Toons chapter 20 . 7/14/2013
A chapter so soon! Oh I saw some of the visuals on Tumblr, they're awesome!
Oh dear, she went to see Red—as if they weren't sketchy enough. I bet that team is who she thinks it is though, just waiting on the relation is all. Hehe I was thinking robots too. By now, I wouldn't be surprised if there ends up being a big robot reveal in the future chapters. XD My gosh, the situation's getting weirder and weirder, is it a set-up or a display or what? Oh man. (I dunno Bowser, seems like Rosalina would be the type to find out soon enough haha.) Ah! They finally figured out that part on the Bones! Bowser and Toadette kinda remind me of a detective duo haha, like the way Toadette does the triggering and Bowser does the thinking. (But she's still like a kid X3 Hair braiding, after seeing the images, it's gotten a bit easier to imagine it all). Haha and the race was awesome, I'm surprised we got to see it as Rosalina though; that's a nice change. (She seems a bit homesick, hopefully she'll get the chance to return again soon, but with the amount of drama here…!) Still thickening the mystery, eh? :P (She herself knows Petey? Or did I miss that part…) but anyway, awesome chapter! (But a cliffhanger, aghh I'm ripping hairs here haha)
Till next time! Cheers!
| MessengerOfDreams chapter 20 . 7/14/2013
3, 2, 1, withdrawal!
This was another awesome chapter, and I'm really starting to get why these take so long. Funny how these last two are bookmarked- I read 19 in January before I got my GED and 20 as I fight my way through college. Like a welcome back. Also, it's 3 days before my birthday, so happy birthday, me. :-)
I like this dynamic you've set up between Red and Toadette, and how you use that to illuminate a little bit more on Toadette in the labs. The scene between Para and Daisy to provide some background on the course, foreshadowing on the Shyguys and just otherwise nice conversation was a great breathing space before the fallout with Saulus being stabbed to fuck. More mystery, more drama, more tangled webs being weaved. So very Firefly.
I am always grateful for scenes between Toadette and Bowser. They're the focal duo in the story, and it's always reassuring to see any scene between the two. And the race, as usual? Thrilling. You manage to make a text version of a race just as heart pounding as watching it, thanks to your clipped, fast-talking sort of writing which burns too fast through the page, much faster than 8k words really should. I love Rosalina's character, and you gave us more of that in top form, making me really buy her and root for her. And, of course, the last scene is our burning cliffhanger.
Thanks for reminding me how glad I am that I followed this story and how I don't regret any wait in between. Good luck as you go ahead, and see you next time and any time in between.
| IrishPanther chapter 9 . 7/13/2013
Yeah, wow, a ton of drama hit the fan during this chapter!
So Toadette actually went to the labs when she was ten years old, and that was the last time she saw her family? That's a ton of shit they're pulling out there. And, oh dear, I cannot stand Dry Bones; I could tolerate him for the first couple chapters...but now that I read what he did to Toadette, and even to Toad, I don't see him in the same light that I did before. I'm rooting for Bowser's team to win the All-Cup, just to give a big 'up yours' to Dry Bones and his sponsors!
I'm so glad to see everyone wanting to comfort Toadette during her story. In such a short time, they all got along so well, and act like a huge family. Another reason why I'm rooting them on!
And yay for Rosalina coming to the All-Cup! From her description, she seems like she would kill anyone on a race track. This tournament now just got a whole lot more interesting, and I cannot wait to see how this all plays out!
In terms of SPAG, no mistakes were spotted, so nice work once again! I cannot wait to see the meeting between Bowser and Rosalina unfold in the next chapter!
| IrishPanther chapter 8 . 7/13/2013
Interesting chapter this turned out to be.
So in the midst of their vacation, Bowser decides to pay Kamek a visit; good for him, since it seemed like he missed him a lot. And we end up meeting his wife, Kamella; I like her as well. I liked their conversation they had, just catching up and such. And that was also nice of Bowser to trust Kamek with his money; and in turn, Kamek gave him some lovely advice - I always love seeing that, advice given by the elders. Good thing Bowser's listening to him!
So Rosalina appears to be stopping in soon; it'll be nice to see her come around. And the gang goes enjoys fireworks, and more bonding between Bowser and Toadette; nice job of developing them together. The last sentence has me ready for the All-Cup to begin, and for any future encounters that Bowser may have. Kamek's right; pick your battles, as well as your friends.
I spotted one mistake while reading:
"Daisy's bringing donuts, says Toadette. There are a couple of restaurants downstairs… a bar…nothing that looks cheap…"
-Missing some quotations.
Other than that, everything else looks amazing! I cannot wait to see what occurs in the next chapter!