Hurray for a trip to Earth! Though for all the wrong reasons apparently. _

Looking forward to the next chapter.

wow that was a twist nice one man.

You've constructed a very well-written story thus far without having a set structure in place already on which to rely (like the OC from the games to which so many here cling).

That said, I do have a couple (small?) complaints. First, it seems you've completely written out the effects of shielding. A single (or even several) pistol shot(s) will not reliably kill an armored and shielded individual, especially from such a low quality pistol as the one your main character possesses. Secondly, the tech ability to make a weapon overheat requires that the weapon actually discharge first. The way you've written it goes against the game documentation, as well as not making much sense in general. Issues like these are rather minor in the grand scheme of the story but are worth examining nonetheless, especially since the overheat ability appears to be your main character's trump card in combat.

Beyond this, I must say that I detest your main character's "ends justifies the means" philosophy; it immediately robs me of any sympathy that I might otherwise feel for his cause. Perhaps this is intended? At least his conscience appears to somewhat object, although it seems that said conscience is fighting a losing battle.

Very Nice. It flows all too well.

Oh, wow... this is one of the saddest things I've ever read. You write it beautifully; I really can't wait to see what happens next, especially to know why Yalo is so self-deprecating. This is quickly turning into one of my favorite stories ever, let alone on this site.

Fantastic Man, I'm glad this is coming back!

Woo hoo! Great great great!

Fantastic As EVER!

Jesus. You should be a professional or something. Your story is Amazing! Shoot, I wish I could make something as good as this. Keep it UP!

looks very promising. so no shepard and team? thats a little disapointing.

Yay, another update! I was beginning to think you had abandoned this story...guess not :)

It's nice to see this story back!

It remains well-written, nicely-paced and with a great, cool and engaging aura. I love how you expand the Universe while keeping it completely believable. It shows that you've paid attention to the details of the world in the existing fiction, yet you've made it your own.

A pilgrimage fic? That's cool, ben trying to find one

that was cool. Loved Yalo's negotiating skills with Intarr and the way Intarr himself is more than just your stereotypical krogan gun-for-hire. Well done.

Chapter 4 was the best yet. This is shaping up really well. I love Yalo's cool, snappy little lines.

"How's that Genophage working out?"