|Reviews for Astro Chocolate|
| Sock Ninja chapter 5 . 5/26/2012
Ooooh! Can't wait for more chapters!
| GlassesMgee chapter 2 . 5/23/2009
Man, this just keeps getting funnier and funnier. You do sucha great job. The out-of-character-ness is a little bit much, but, you know, it just makes the whole thing funnier.
| Natalie Thompson chapter 1 . 5/23/2009
Hey! It's really good! Out of my complete boredom though, I wrote up your beach scene how I'd write it. It's not that yours was bad, but it's because I'm really bored and I'm at a loss of ideas to write about, so... here:
Kisame walked along the waterline, letting his feet get wet on the higher waves as they rubbed on the sand. He glared at the sand below him as he walked, hating the couples who walked and sat together, holding hands, as well as the excited groups of girls playing beach volleyball with grinning groups of boys. It seemed as though the beach was reserved for couple only...
He looked up at the cloudless sky, surprised at the high-noon sun. It was so bright out here; didn't couples just come at sunset? As his eyes dropped, his eyes caught on a girl who sat alone on a boulder which rose up, dividing this part of the beach from the following sections, yet still low enough to cover the girl with a glistening spray of the crashing waves. The sun was bright enough to bleach her hair white, and mixed together with the breeze coming off the ocean, gave her the illusion of wings; the angel sat alone, motionless. She bowed her head allowing the wind to toy with her hair differently, making it dance rather than giving the angel wings.
Kisame looked away to realize he was at the bottom of the boulder. He glanced again up at the girl, wanting to say something for coming so close to her with no explicit reason. He shuffled his feet nervously, drawing her attention. He saw her eyes were puffy from crying as she attempted to blink away tears, noticing his stare.
"Can I help you?" There was a slight hiccup in her voice, which she couldn't stop from sounding strained.
Kisame looked into her beautiful eyes. His mind was blank, uncapable of answering the question. Awkwardness descended however as she waited for an answer. "I didn't know angels could cry." He said it before he had a chance to think.
She smiled a small smile, thanking him for the compliment. It faded slightly as she responded. "Thank you, but if I'm an angel- then I'm terrible at my job."
Kisame was only partially listening, focused more on her looks, which sparkled, wet from the ocean's spray. Nevertheless, he continued the conversation, allowing his small curiousity to be satisfied. "How so?"
"My boyfriend- he broke up with me to go chase after some other girl's skirt-" The girl frowned. It borthered Kisame that she did so, as it disrupted her perfect beauty. "I guess- I'm a damned angel- if I can't be with someone."
Kisame sighed, wanting her to stop frowning. "Well- I think- he was an idiot for doing such a thing." She looked at Kisame, and smiled, looking even more beautiful than when she had first smiled.
In her happiness, she allowed a tear to slip, but she wiped it away. "Y-You're such a sweetheart!" Her voice sounded heavenly when it was happy. "You're not like the other guys- you're cooler than any other guy I've ever met-" She stood up and took a step forward, but slipped on the wet. She let out a surprised yelp as she fell; Kisame acted instinctively, jumping to grab her, landing safely while holding her.
"W-Wow! That was awesome! Are you a Ninja or something?" She asked, jazzed.
"Are you okay?" He was used to such acrobatics.
"I-I'm fine." She glanced to check herself, but gazed at Kisame, still amazed as he set her down. "Whoa- you have SO earned my phone number! Oh, wait- We didn't properly introduce oursleves... I'm Kara." She smiled, destroying his focus once more.
"I... I'm Kisame." He forced the words to form. "You don't think I'm...weird- at all?"
She tilted her head slightly, confused. "Why would I? You've got a cool skin color, and I think tall guys are sexy, and you're, like, twice my size." She handed him a peice of paper. "Here is my number- if you wanna chat or meet up, call me, ok?" She grinned innocently before motioning him to lean down. She held his shoulders for support while she leaned up on her tip-toes, and kissing him on the cheek.
"That's a 'thank you' for saving my butt... Later!" She waved as she walked off, leaving him to stand alone, stunned. He straightened himself slowly, holding his cheek, as he formed a large grin.
Again, it's just because of my boredom that I did this... I thought it was a cool idea. (I really don't like offending people, yet I somehow always do it, so I just wanted you to know... I'm like those people that say sorry a million times.)
(If I'm not logged in right now[I can never tell], I'm )
| FamousWolf chapter 5 . 3/18/2009
This is a really good story. I hope you make more chapters soon!
| twinkers4 chapter 3 . 1/10/2009
why would jiraiya kill her?
| Kisame Fangirl chapter 2 . 1/10/2009
Not a lot of people dare to make a Kisame OC story, and for this I commend you. You have earned my prase as I consider myself one of the only huge Kisame fans. (And my Kisame plushit was with me when I read this.) It's a great story, keep up the good work!
| Twinkers4 chapter 2 . 1/10/2009
Wow. Really good. Thank you for updating so quickly.
| Twinkers4 chapter 1 . 1/10/2009
Can't wait for the next needs some love.