|Reviews for A Valkyria's Redemption|
| Ominae chapter 5 . 3/23/2009
I'd like to see what happens from here on, especially if she'll be personally be under Welkin's command with Jaeger.
| FallenAngelCyril chapter 4 . 3/7/2009
Please be Selvaria/Welkin, please!
Your story started off a bit slow, and there are a few typos and grammatical errors here and there, but it's getting better now. I hope you update.
| MelissaW chapter 4 . 3/1/2009
At first I thought you made Selvaria have a split personality. Like if she was crazy. So her "other" self is like a part of her that still has feelings for Maximillian and doesn't want to harm him? I love the story. Keep going.
| Dark omega z chapter 4 . 2/25/2009
I hope Selvaria will overcome her other self in time to not do any major damage...and no I'm not from GFAQS, I may have seen the name once or twice a long time ago.
| X00001 chapter 4 . 2/21/2009
great chapter so the two of them have finaly met up with the militia can't wait to see what happens.
| Ominae chapter 4 . 2/21/2009
I'd assume that Selvaria would be loveless without a pairing? This should be interesting since Selvaria may have to own Maximilian. Unless Selvaria/Jaeger can work, but I feel a nostalgia for Selvaria/Welkin. Which may or may not work.
Keep on going with the next one.
| Tikigod784 chapter 4 . 2/21/2009
Heh, maybe Selvaria can convince Alichia to use her lance and shield as well... also, my main problem with VC was that there weren't enough Valkyria. Sure, it worked for that story, but you should definitely have more, if only for a crazy team-up between Selvaria and Alicia.
| Dark omega z chapter 3 . 2/18/2009
good story so far.
| MelissaW chapter 3 . 2/9/2009
Very cool story. Selvaria is my favorite character and I can't wait to read what happens. :)
| Huhn chapter 3 . 2/8/2009
Wow, Damon got his and then some (though kind of surprised the Marmota wasn’t swallowed up in his belly-fat!)
This chapter is okay but I do have a couple of criticisms to make:-
- Be careful on the punctuation front – quite a few capital letters and commas were out of place. If you’re saying ‘he said’ after a sentence of dialogue, the dialogue bit should end with a comma, then the next letter should be small (e.g. “About two days Sir,” the soldier said.) Also you don’t need commas before ‘and’.
- Also as I mentioned before I suggest ditching the modern slang (in this case ‘pi$$ed off’) as it seems out of place in VC and there are always far better words available.
Keep on going! Looking forward to seeing Squad 7 make an appearance and what kind of welcome they will give Selvaria.
| Tikigod784 chapter 3 . 2/5/2009
Ah... things are going to be awkward when Selvaria shows up...XD
| Rotten-Kraut chapter 3 . 2/3/2009
Yay new chapter, and it was cool, Stupid Damon got what he deserved, hated that prick. Can't wait for more chapters _
| Ominae chapter 3 . 2/3/2009
The last part is too funny. I hope Borg gets what's coming to him.
| X00001 chapter 3 . 2/2/2009
Great chapter that thing sounded unstoppable as it did in the game, can't wait to see how you have them stop it.
| Huhn chapter 2 . 2/1/2009
Hey, nice story! It’s certainly an interesting concept and the writing is impressive for a first story. Certainly you’re getting some good detail in the paragraphs and you’re giving the characters time to think as well as showing their actions, which is great to see.
I really like the idea of using Selvaria’s mind as an alter-ego – makes it much more realistic and interesting than just having her lose all her feelings for Maximilian completely. Looking forward to seeing how she’s going to deal with her mixed emotions in the coming chapters.
Do have a couple of suggestions though:
- The ‘mother-*’ and ‘annoying ass’ phrases seemed really out of place in the world of VC (bit too modern I reckon)
- Also for flashbacks, rather than having the words Start/End flashback at each end, I think it’s a bit more natural to just have some kind of section break, like a row of asterisks or something to set it apart, and maybe have the text itself in italics.
For a while I would have said Jaegar was being a bit too nice but as you showed at the end he stands to gain something out of this as well (i.e. Selvaria helping him restore Fhirald) so his actions do kind of make sense.
Looking forward to Selvaria meeting up with good ol’ Squad 7 (and to be honest, I’m quite interested to see what’s going to happen to General Damon seeing as he didn’t get fried!)
Keep it up!