|Reviews for A Valkyria's Redemption|
| Huhn chapter 2 . 2/1/2009
Hey, nice story! It’s certainly an interesting concept and the writing is impressive for a first story. Certainly you’re getting some good detail in the paragraphs and you’re giving the characters time to think as well as showing their actions, which is great to see.
I really like the idea of using Selvaria’s mind as an alter-ego – makes it much more realistic and interesting than just having her lose all her feelings for Maximilian completely. Looking forward to seeing how she’s going to deal with her mixed emotions in the coming chapters.
Do have a couple of suggestions though:
- The ‘mother-*’ and ‘annoying ass’ phrases seemed really out of place in the world of VC (bit too modern I reckon)
- Also for flashbacks, rather than having the words Start/End flashback at each end, I think it’s a bit more natural to just have some kind of section break, like a row of asterisks or something to set it apart, and maybe have the text itself in italics.
For a while I would have said Jaegar was being a bit too nice but as you showed at the end he stands to gain something out of this as well (i.e. Selvaria helping him restore Fhirald) so his actions do kind of make sense.
Looking forward to Selvaria meeting up with good ol’ Squad 7 (and to be honest, I’m quite interested to see what’s going to happen to General Damon seeing as he didn’t get fried!)
Keep it up!
| Rael Orion chapter 2 . 1/31/2009
Very interesting. I'm looking forward to th next chapter.
| Shadow Zeranion chapter 2 . 1/29/2009
So Selvaria is gonna turn traitor ne? Gotta say it will be interesting. Update again soon please :3
| Kyo Tetsuei chapter 2 . 1/21/2009
An interesting start - I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with, especially with Selvaria's character development. Thanks for sharing.
| X00001 chapter 2 . 1/17/2009
Nice chapter i can't wait to see what it is like when they meet up with Squad 7.
| X00001 chapter 1 . 1/17/2009
Not bad, good start i know you've only done 2 chapters but are you going to have Jaeger appear in a huge tank battle later that would be good to read about keep up the good work.
| Rotten-Kraut chapter 2 . 1/15/2009
keep it up, want more
| Rotten-Kraut chapter 1 . 1/15/2009
nice story so far, keep it up, Selvaria and Jaeger are by far my favorite for the enemies, and Edy and Marina my favorites for Squad 7, you got me intrest look forward to more.
| Ominae chapter 2 . 1/14/2009
This is interesting since I'd like to see if Selvaria will team up with Squad 7 soon...
Not to mention how she'll interact with good old Welkin.
| Cloner4000 chapter 1 . 1/13/2009
Heh...well, you could say my opinion of Maximilian reached the bottom after he told Selvaria to die, I thought he might just be normal because he killed Borg and the other Imperial Officer (Geld I think). So far this sounds pretty good and I'll be looking forward to it.
I remember the homeland for Jeager is Fhliard or some other spelling.
| WhatDoYouMeanI'mDrunk chapter 1 . 1/11/2009
keep going, I wanna see more
I'm interested, but it's too soon for me to make a good review
| Ominae chapter 1 . 1/10/2009
This is interesting. Hoping for another good chapter.
AU means alternate universe. As for Yaeger, he used to be with the Fhirald under it became an Empire protectorate in EWI. He deserts Maximilian after being defeated himself.
| Shadowani chapter 1 . 1/10/2009
really good, the description was top notch, I find this a really interesting what if scenario. Please continue.