|Reviews for Transgression and Inquisition|
| An Historian chapter 8 . 1/11/2012
Because I am obsessed with history (which is probably my main draw to this franchise in the first place), there are a few things I cannot let pass. Before listing them, however, there are some good points to make, too!
Absolutely FABULOUS (flappy wrist and all) characterization of the Alexandra family. Wonderful. Cassandra is...not quite over the top, but she remains lovable throughout. Soph is my character, and she is very believable here. Also, great job with Rothion - you've really breathed some life into the "most hated character in the so-cal universe" here.
Now, a few inaccuracies: The Spanish Inquisition didn't leave Spanish borders (which included parts of the New World and Sicily/Naples at the time). And a few tidbits about Roman Catholic hierarchy: Priests are called "Father," whereas a Bishop is referred to as "His/Your Excellency." They are no longer simply called "Father." Also, only the Popes, who are renamed after election, have numerals following their new names. Priests, Bishops, and Cardinals are simply called by their last names (i.e. Bishop Ambrosio and Father Romero).
Oh, and though animosity from a Frenchman toward Spaniards seems obvious, Rouen (Raphael's hometown) is in the NORTH of France, which actually resisted the Protestant (at the time) Henry IV, and they were SUPPORTED by none other than the Spanish Duke of Parma. So, if anything, he wouldn't mind a few Spaniards-especially considering their common religion, Roman Catholicism. Siegfried, a German, would also be Catholic (assuming he's from souther Germany, anyway, which is where Ostrheinsburg seems to be).
Otherwise, the character interaction and originality is very impressive. Ivy seems snappy-good, and you are incredibly close to tapping into the true potential of Amy and her frozen-at-fourteen dilemma. Good work!
| Aeous tout la Debonair chapter 7 . 9/28/2010
Bravo! Bravo! Bravissimo!
Truly, a tour de force have you written! There are some mishaps in your style and paragraphs, but I would most certainly not be overreaching to say that this is the definitive Soul Calibur story: rich with religion, but not taking away from the nature of the original plot. You have made my day, and more besides; I will hope to see much more of this!
My thanks and fondest congratulations!
| swartzvald chapter 1 . 4/7/2010
well I want to see what hapens so i'm going to ignore the fact that Greece is eastern orthodox and doesn't aknoledge the authority of the Catholic church.
| Guest chapter 5 . 5/10/2009
poor Amy and Tira :( both of them seem so lonely and desperate. their relationship feels very bittersweet. i like the hint of jealousy Raphael shows too - it's not just concern over Amy's safety that moves him, but the idea that he isn't enough for her anymore.
Siegfried and Soul Calibur are a little unsettling in this chapter. well - Siegfried is just intimidating, which is understandable. but SC? downright creepy. frosting people over while they sleep, eek. D:
as for accents, i didn't notice they had changed. ; although, they did feel more...hm, i'm not sure how to explain it...more confident than they have been. they just 'felt' right, but i can't pinpoint why that's so. so i guess just keep doing what you've been doing. :p
thanks for another entertaining chapter!
| White Shadow chapter 4 . 4/28/2009
I don't expect the Spanish Inquisition!
Hahaha. Well written story. Good stuff.
| terabient chapter 4 . 3/16/2009
oh, where to start...
i think it says a lot, that as you switch between the various plot threads here, i never think 'oh god this is so boring' - every section is strong enough to hold attention. the time spent with each group can be uneven but considering how many plots are being juggled it's not unexpected; and really, i only notice it *after* i've finished reading so - it's not much of an issue.
i love just about everything with Aeon here (the gestures are rather inventive and some are - dare i say it - *cute?*); i also like how you write Amy - in some fics she comes off as a bit too mature and collected for her age - but here she's understandably fearful, and just happens to be good at hiding it. Raphael's vanity was a nice touch too (because he WOULD care that much, heh) as well as being a fairly subtle way to touch on how he feels about his transformation.
(and i wouldn't worry too much about updating. life comes by and kicks everyone's ass sometimes - don't feel you have to apologize for things out of your control. :)
| Layagg chapter 4 . 3/16/2009
Hullo. Quite some time since the last update but you made it good. Another good chapter. Your descriptions are really easy to understand. Like when Aeon gestures something, I could sometimes pick up what he means even before his soldier companion interprets it. I find it interesting (once again) how one of SC characters interacts with a historical group of people. And the foreign words inserts as well as the foreign accentuation make this real; reminds me of James Clavell's writing.
As of the yaoi part, I wouldn't really suspect it if you hadn't mentioned it in your A/N.
I have one thing that I noticed though: During one of Amy's thought monologue, you mentioned: "What was Siegfried’s reasoning for his visit?" You used reasoning as a verb when it is really a noun and adjective. 'Reason' maybe more proper to use.
Aside from that, you're good. Keep it up! I'll still watch out for this fic. I hope it gets more reviews as it really deserves.,
| Layagg chapter 3 . 2/6/2009
Whoa. Nice. I love the interaction of Siegfried and the Soulcalibur fragment. I sometimes think that they could hit off if not for the fragment being an object instead of a real Siegfried's way of talking was really smart and timely for his era as well all throughout your story.
The scene of Raphael and Amy was humorous and it really showed Raphael's father's side.
The travel of the Alexandra family felt kinda short. They traveled by ship and immediately at the second half of the chapter they reached their destination. (You mentioned that this is a 'meanwhile' story anyway so I guess that would be just okay.) Also, the scene when the ship's crew were intending to 'play' with the women felt a bit awkward. But then again, there are and were real people who does/did just that so...
Anyway, excelente! You still got me reading and watching out for your story and I hope I could get to see the next chapter soon. Good luck!
| terabient chapter 3 . 2/4/2009
(i actually giggled in glee, IN REAL LIFE, when i saw this was updated. i should probably put you on author alert like NOW. anyway...)
OH CASSANDRA. i can relate, which is HORRIBLY EMBARRASSING. but anyway, i like how you get at Cassandra's occasional spaciness without exaggerating it, or being mean-spirited about the whole thing.
i'll admit i was a little wary of seeing how the um, ship payment bit would play out, since in so many fics (not necessarily SC ones, just in general) use 'strong-women-in-peril' scenario as an excuse for gratuitous violence and/or sex. thankfully that wasn't the case here. Rothion saving Sophitia for once was nice; the ordeal taking a huge toll on him physically was an excellent touch.
Raphael and Amy were SO GOOD. i am pretty sure i had the stupidest smile on my face reading the whole monster-hunting scene. speaking of, poor Amy- her only friend is UTTERLY TERRIFYING. (i think you did just fine as far as Tira is concerned, btw.)
it's been years since i last took French, but i am fairly certain that 'sacre bleu' is 1. a fairly modern phrase and 2. not used seriously; as in, it's generally used if someone is parodying a French person, and not something French people actually say.
and finally i am embarrassingly giddy at the thought of Raphael and Siegfried meeting and (probably!) not beating the crap out of each other.
| Frances Geira chapter 2 . 1/31/2009
wow...impressive! Youve put a hell of a lot of effort into it, that's for sure...well done :)
| Layagg chapter 2 . 1/26/2009
First of all, I really want to commend you on this story. It was really well-done, well-researched, quite accurate and deep. Not many people would exert such efforts trying to add depth to their stories by looking up and researching actual events where the story is based, the culture of the peoples involved and the objects and props used in their story but you took an extra mile for all these. What you did in your story made me feel like I’m living in their timeline as you described. Moreover, the accents of people you included, though new and strange to me at first, made me feel that certain characters were really from what country they came from. The phrases in their native languages also ended up to that result. About your concern of whether the accents were hard to read: they weren’t. I read them aloud to myself and they made sense to me—I could completely understand them.
I like how the characters were portrayed in their everyday lives making them appear like real live persons with real flesh and blood. I will not go into details about each of them but I can really tell you one thing —they were written absolutely well. I also love the action sequences. Being an action/adventure story lover (and writer myself), this one really appealed to me. The details you included in those scenes (and throughout the story) were simply amazing! Oh, and another thing, I’m aware of the Spanish conquistadors but I haven’t read before of them reaching Greece. I know that they had this Papal approved world division (I forgot the actual name of that document where the line was drawn for them and Portugal) with Portugal. With that, they acquired South America, etc (I’m not aware of their conquests in Europe and whether they did conquer European nations). But that’s just a minor thing. I respect and like your plot as is. It’s completely unique and is a stand out.
Lastly, I’d like to suggest that you try to downgrade the rating for the time-being to get it exposed to more readers until necessary (I don’t think it deserves being in the M section yet). Being at the mature section, I really wouldn’t have found it until when I started clicking the profiles of reviewers of some stories (well, for this one, it was particularly the one jane1 wrote). This story deserves a lot of readers and by that, I mean A LOT!
Also, I'd like to suggest putting the meaning of foreign sentences and phrases in parenthesis or italics next to the foreign sentences. It's much easier for us readers than scrolling up and down to see the meaning and then going back to where we were.
I hope you can update soon. I’d be keeping an eye on this.,
| ACCOUNT INCINERATED chapter 2 . 1/22/2009
This story made me chuckle. It' well-writen and gave me some laughs.
| terabient chapter 2 . 1/17/2009
(tries not to fangirl out at the mention of Raphael, fails miserably.)
On a serious note...really, I can't find any fault in this. Some things that stuck out for me:
-Siegfried- Seriously, this is the best characterization for Sieg I've read.
-Lizardman/Aeon- I like pretty much everything you've written for Lizardman so far but my favorite part how you handle his communication problems. They could easily become tiresome, but...they're not. :)
-The Inquisition! TBH I was a LITTLE worried that the Inquisition would be written as an obviously and unrepentantly *evil* organization, but thankfully that isn't the case. (SRSLY, I couldn't guess at all at what Ambrosio would be like when he was first introduced, and I was genuinely surprised at how he turned out.)
As for the accents...it reminded me a little of Chrono Cross, and how each character had a unique way of speaking. It's a nice touch. (fwiw, the German accent here is way better than Irenes' in CC...lol )
I've gushed enough so I'll stop here. I hope you get more readers for this story because it definitely deserves the attention!
| terabient chapter 1 . 1/11/2009
this fic is really impressive- i'm especially wowed by your ability to convey the personalities of characters like Rothion and Lucius in a strong and concise manner. you spend relatively little time describing them, but their personalities are clear and play off of Sophitia and Cassandra well. Romero's characterization is a stand-out as well - just the right balance of (supposed) mercy and cruel 'justice' you'd expect in an Inquisitor.
from a technical standpoint- it is SO nice to read something by someone who understands pacing and isn't afraid to use long sentences and punctuation that is not a period or a comma. you may have written a long chapter, but i finished it much more easily then some shorter works simply because this reads so smoothly.
thank you for writing this.