|Reviews for The Revision of Nagato Yuki|
| barney.turner.10 chapter 5 . 12/29/2014
No criticisms here, I enjoyed this story arc.
The slightly-more assertive human Yuki is an interesting character development, & Mikuru doesnt have to be overly-loquacious as youd have to pepper her conversation with "thats classified" a little TOO often for comfort. Koizumi is his usual smiling yet annoyingly enigmatic self, & although Haruhis off-stage for most of the story youve got her essence right. 7.5/10
Now off to find the continuation/sequel thats (at time of reading in Dec 2014) on the 1st page listing Yuki stories.
Thank you for a curiosity-piquing read!
| barney.turner.10 chapter 3 . 12/29/2014
Well, well, well...Yuki the bookworm reveals her crush, albeit not to the object of her affections.
At least Kyon seems to be a little quicker-on-the-uptake than usual.
| barney.turner.10 chapter 2 . 12/29/2014
Human Yuki in this reality?
This is going to be interesting...on to the next chapter!
| Phagabo241 chapter 5 . 7/25/2012
Interesting...very interesting...who am I kidding, the story was amazing! (•w-)b
| Nicholas Flow chapter 5 . 7/22/2012
I LOVED this! if I didn't know any better I might have said you copied this out of one of the books, and personally I Love Yuki and everything she as to do with, also I like how the story kinda makes you feel bad for liking one or the other, but both groups feel good after you read the epilouge. You did very well and I would read alot more if their was any. As a fan of "The Meloncholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" "Yuki" and most resently "You" I thank you for writing this.
| YumekuiHoro chapter 5 . 4/8/2010
this was a great story i really like the Omake thing with asakura hehe made me laugh for a bit
| Rowan Seven chapter 5 . 1/22/2010
Clever and cute describes this story quite well, I think. You have an intelligent, well thought-out plot and characterizations that are pleasantly believable. Particular kudos for your take on Yuki, by the way. As you and many others have said, she's a hard character to depict realistically and that seems to be a common shortcoming in Yuki&Kyon stories, but you've successfully managed to avoid that pitfall. "Revised" Yuki was incredibly endearing too, and I'm happy that a partial compromise was worked out. You also did a pretty good job with Kyon and his narrative. Lines like his musings on whether that hill was created just to torment him and "Leave it to Nagato to try to set my mind at ease by making my head hurt" added his trademark sarcasm and a sense of humor to this otherwise largely serious tale.
As for criticisms, the only things that really come to mind is that I'd think Koizumi and Mikuru might be a little less enthusiastic about the possibility of a romantic relationship between Kyon and Yuki. Koizumi's whole mission seems to be keeping Haruhi "entertained" and happy with the existing world so unless his organization has decided that it's time to subtly encourage Haruhi to mature I'd suspect he'd be less than equanimous about this. Then again, he does practically everything with a smile on his face and is so roundabout that most of his actions are open to interpretation anyway. And while Mikuru might be a little jealous, she also appears to be a nice enough of a person to be happy for her friends so that's only a small complaint on my part there.
Overall, good job. The amount of thought you put into executing the story shows, and even minor details such as the alliteration of the chapter titles and the explanation for Haruhi's convenient absence are well done. I'm looking forward to reading the sequel and learning what happens next.
| The Hidden Lostar chapter 5 . 12/10/2009
I am training myself on reading Yuki X Kyon fics as I will eventually be completing one of my own. :)
Anyways, there's nothing wrong with this story. The roles were very balanced too. Mikuru actually got to do something for once! Authors tend to neglect her a lot!
Very funny ending... lol, Haruhi!
Anyways, two thumbs up!
| lazyguy90 chapter 5 . 12/2/2009
Hey, great story. Very nice work on this. Well done.
| Cha-Cha-Cheesecake chapter 1 . 7/21/2009
| the grey mage chapter 2 . 6/27/2009
aww. no hanky panky? i would assume that this version of nagato would have done some thing before being rewritten.
| demongirl22 youtube chapter 5 . 4/15/2009
it's a really interesting story
| an1979 chapter 5 . 1/20/2009
An omake just for me?
You didn't have to. :)
Poor Kyon, his life is hard enough without old friends with an affinity to sharp things... :))
| Ametsu chapter 5 . 1/20/2009
I read through them. I must say I'm impressed with how you kept Kyon and the others in character, more on Kyon and Nagato. It was like reading the actual novel.
The story was short but enjoyable to read. I have to admit though, I was fond of the shy and timid Nagato. But at the same time one gets used to the quiet and anti-social type. Great Story!. I'm on my way to read your latest story.
| Hina the half heart chapter 5 . 1/16/2009
hmm...i liked it but i think it should have been longer...