Reviews for The Bloodline
ClumsyWrighter chapter 2 . 11/30/2014
oh a rewright... i have to look at thet
ClumsyWrighter chapter 1 . 11/30/2014
a miracle coming right up :p...
right? O.O
crimson-angel08 chapter 1 . 3/20/2013
Interesting story, please cont.
Neko Serena chapter 2 . 6/9/2012
Aww! I really like the story the way it was! Why does choose now to inforce that rule? Anyway, there is an website if you could would you write it there?
Marionettes chapter 36 . 7/21/2011
I know this hasn't been updated in over a year but I really want the end of this story!

Marion
A Flame's Embers chapter 36 . 4/7/2011
Wow this story is really good! Please continue it
eva chapter 36 . 11/7/2010
Dear ThePenandtheSword,

I'm really interested in this fic. When I found there's a new chapter, I'm so happy, but kind of disappointed when it's only an author's note. Although it makes me rather down, I can only hope that you can solve your problems soon.

I'm impressed that you alter the storyline into something that makes me feel excited reading it. I also love the way you pictured the relationship between Raguna and Ivan as brothers. I'm happy when I stumbled upon this fic since there were no yaoi fics on Rune Factory. Thank you very much for all your efforts and I really look forward to the next installment. That's all I want to say.

Wish you all the best,

eva
xoverlover chapter 25 . 11/6/2010
I've read the fic until this chapter. It is well-written, but I find it falls into the usual yaoi problem, which is OOC-ness. Of course, this is normal, because who CAN keep a character IC all the time? Dx We're not the original authors or anything. It's just that often, one likes to make their characters act far more lovey-dovey and romantic than would seem canonically possible. It still strikes me as odd that Raguna would ACT drunk to get Zavier's attention - seems quite underhanded of him, cowardly, considering he should have told him outright. His overly-strong feelings for Zavier don't quite make up for it for me, but then, I've never been desperately in love with a woman and given the option to feign drunkenness.

The main problem, I think, is that is also falls into OOC-extreme-ness due to mpreg.

Now, don't get me wrong, I LIKE mpreg, so it's nothing against that. xD But liking it, I've read plenty of fics with it, and find almost the same, ah, 'clich├ęs', if you wish, because maybe they are well-received by other fans of th genre, and this is just me.

But one thing that personally bothers me in mpreg is that, well, the pregnant character suddenly becomes very useless. As it is, Raguna's failed encounter with the siren at the beginning sounded very IC to me, considering the setting and scene you'd opened up with. The mistake with the Billy, passable, since he didn't really know there was something wrong with him. Although it does seem a bit to Deus-ex-machina that he would feel nauseous right at that moment, and then Ivan showing up there around the same time is no less inconspicuous. But, it works for the fic purposes.

And then Raguna learns of his fatherhood, and that's when things get a bit more 'meh', because he's growing irrational and unable to take care of himself in a show of, I want to believe, pregnancy-induced hormone-mood-swings. For sure it must have been a blow for Zavier to call him a freak. I had been heartened when he reacted by punching him in the face. I was like, 'yeah, walk off on his smugface!' when he dashed off, hoping Zavier would see the mistake of his errors and be forced to beg for forgiveness at Raguna's home's locked doorway. But then I found out Raguna had decided to rush into a CAVE of all things, knowing full well there's monsters in there. Mind you, had he been normal-Raguna, there wouldn't have been a reason to be worried, but seeing how well he handled the Billy, one would think he'd be a bit more cautious about entering Caves. His thoughts while being dragged by a baby Siren obviously show how concerned he is with his baby - but obviously not concerned enough to avoid caves? And not-avoiding caves aside, can't he use a spell? Retornen (err... I think that's how it was spelled in the first game?) is pretty darn useful at times like those. o .o Maybe he should take to carrying the spell around now.

I'm not trying to come off as annoying or a flamer. Dx I do think you're a good writer, and the story IS good, and grammar and spelling are fine as far as I can tell (because a lot of those things I don't notice right away). But I'm just giving my two cents. I like mpreg, all the same that I like yaoi and fantasy, but when you see the same patterns over and over, you try to start avoiding them. And since it seems like such a good story so far, I'm sort of trying to tell you I find it similar to others I've read? Not that it matters much, maybe. xD
gary chapter 36 . 10/8/2010
according to TVtropes, this message is the ultimate sign that a story will never get another chapter.
Legal Assasin chapter 36 . 10/6/2010
Know how it feels-my life's been turned upside down and I'm trying to figure it out.
Rugiku chapter 35 . 9/6/2010
wow...

You're really good at writing angst

I'll be waiting for the next chapter, Hoping it come up soon!
CashewLuu chapter 1 . 7/30/2010
Hurry and finish this story... NAO!
justGORE chapter 35 . 2/2/2010
OMG, I finally found this story after so LONG.

I had read this story on DA and then it stopped getting updated.

But I am so finally happy I found it and that it's still going.

Thank you so much for writing this story and please continue it soon.

Love LOVE this story so much. 3
Ninny-na chapter 35 . 1/17/2010
O:

Oh my.

This is going to be interesting.
Legal Assasin chapter 35 . 1/17/2010
Good news: no one will be molesting Tori anymore!

Bad news: the king IS loco!
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