Reviews for Onus
SpudyPotato chapter 9 . 5/14/2018
Goddamn this is one hell of a story, great expansion on the DLC and perfect continuation from your first story.
Blitz3701 chapter 7 . 9/18/2014
I am loving this kitten business.
Apostate Sarah chapter 9 . 9/8/2014
Aww. Wow those last few chapters were really intense. It's really good to see Garrus, Kaidan, and Shepard digging deeper with each other, learning about the others and themselves here. You always catch me when you go off-cannon because it's done so well that even though I knew Kaidan lived it was a worrisome couple of chapters.
Eleneri chapter 8 . 2/6/2013
This is amazing. Beyond amazing. The looks inside people's heads, the combat sequences (I dream of being able to write like that!) Just... amazing.
Janizary chapter 9 . 11/24/2010
I guess I'm working my way through all of your stories now :)

Short commentary, but pertinent to my interpretation of Kaidan as well. Shepard's comment to Kaidan that he would not work out as an Nx for the reasons that she listed.

Particularly with ME2 FFs out, I've seen numerous stories were Kaidan has been written as an Nx, or even as a SPECTRE candidate or full SPECTRE. It just never sat right with my. Kaidan (to me, of course) has always been thoughtful, introspective, kind, and, as your Shepard put it, taking the time to observe and inspect from all sides. I've never felt that he had the grit (or at least some amount of ruthlessness that even the most Paragon Shepard still has to have to get the job done). It is not a bad thing, and its what makes Kaidan the special man that he is. Again, just my small opinion, but in those few short sentences you hit the nail on the head, as it were.
Lellandra chapter 9 . 5/11/2010
I run the risk of repeating myself but: another great story!

You can describe the action just as well as thoughtful moments.

And the fact that the relationship between Shep and Kaidan is not always a bed of roses makes it all more believable. Of course working together and Kaidan being her subordinate is hardly an ideal scenario for a couple.

I'm thinking about reinstalling ME1 in my laptop. I feel like playing it all over again after reading your stories.

Thank you so much for the attention to detail and thoughtfulness you put on all of your stories. They are a great read. And thank you for sharing! :)
Lalaith Raina chapter 9 . 2/20/2010
I'm sad to say I read this over the past two days, and when I sat down now to review, I can't recall everything I wanted to say.

So instead, I'll simply tell you I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Garrus is my favorite character, and I felt you did an awesome job capturing him and a lot of his/the Turian mindset.

Also, I loved how you had the romance. It had a happy end, but it wasn't all kittens and sunshine and it had its uncertain boundaries and its awkward moments. Which made it so real and so enjoyable to experience, even if it wasn't enjoyable for them.

One of my favorite moments was there at the end, when he realized he knew how she modded her armor but had no idea what sort of music she would listen to. My other favorite bit was (being the Garrus fangirl I am) when Garrus and Kaidan had their talk by the Mako, and all about the Turian culture. That was just really great. All of chapter six, really, had me smiling.
Estelindis chapter 9 . 6/28/2009
I agree with everything Airen said below. That review really spoke for me too! :-) Just to add a few more observations...

I find that, whenever you write from a particular point of view, you completely immerse the reader in that point of view. I find myself really getting a sense of what it's like to *be* Garrus or Kaidan. What I really like is the way you don't use Shepard as a point of view character, and you use her first name sparingly (also generally having her address other crew members by their last names to keep a sense of continuity). It lets her be *our* Shepard to an amazing level (even if, like me, one didn't play a biotic Shepard). I also like the way there's a healthy distance between Shepard and the crew, and that mirrors (or is mirrored by) the narrative distance between Garrus / Kaidan and her. Shepard is something of an enigma to her crew... Even, in many ways, to Kaidan. That little detail with the music she was listening to in the final chapter nearly took my breath away, it was that beautiful.
R-I-C-A-R-D chapter 9 . 3/11/2009
I think what I liked the most about the final chapter was Kaidan's realisation that he knows less about Shepard than he believes he does, which is probably true about a lot of couples in real life.
redshift87 chapter 9 . 3/11/2009
Aw, what a perfect ending :-)

Thanks so much for sharing your writing with the rest of us crazy ME fans. Iunctio and Onus are my two favorite ME fanfics, hands down. I love your take on Shepard and Kaidan so much more than the majority of the other simpering, over-the-top melodramas. They both come off sounding like adults, and mature ones, even. They have their problems, but they work through them intelligently or else deal.

I also hope this won't be the end of your writing. ME2 is such a long way off (and I don't believe that Shepard is actually dead ;-)) and I want to hear about this shore leave they take together!
waiting4morning chapter 9 . 3/11/2009
Hooray! I just love the way you write from each characters' perspective and keep them distinct from each other. You've done Kaidan pretty much with Inunctio and Onus and Wrex is coming along nicely-any thoughts about trying something all from Garrus' point of view?

Anyway, thanks for the fun read and I look forward to reading what you offer in the future.
Delylah chapter 9 . 3/11/2009
Argh...I didn't want the story to end there, but I guess that's the mark of a good writer...leave them wanting more. Your prose is so beautifully descriptive, it makes me feel I'm in the scene with them as an observer (or playing the game again and getting to see all the stuff I could imagine happened off screen). The way you've developed Shepard and Alenko's relationship is perfect. Even though she is technically his superior, they're still equals...there is give and take between them, they need each other and respect each other, they bolster each other up. I hope you'll continue writing ME helps fill the gap until ME2 is released next year (which seems a very long time away). Thanks so much for posting this!
Veraberry chapter 8 . 3/9/2009
This is one of the few Mass Effect stories that has caught my attention. Usually by the third chapter I lose interest, but like has been mentioned before, you know how to keep pace. I love it. I'm looking forward to more chapters and what happens next.

I especially love the dialogue and how spot on everyone is, especially Joker!

Keep up the good work!
Airen chapter 8 . 3/3/2009
I have to tell you, this is exactly the fic I have been looking to read ever since I finished playing Mass Effect: a skillfully-told, multi-chapter work featuring astonishing detail, amazing characterization, and excellent pacing. This story is so well executed that I'm having a lot of trouble holding in my fangirlish glee.

Seriously, you write with great intelligence. I'm especially captivated by the tiny technological details you add everywhere. The characters are spot-on - Joker's lines, the tension between Shepard and Kaidan, every thought that goes through Garrus' head...they radiate a believable charm. I started reading the Mass Effect novels the other day and they don't hold a candle to what you've done here.

I have noticed a couple of errors ("taught" instead of "taut", that sort of thing) but they're very small and don't detract from the story or the writing style. Really excellent work here, I will be happily waiting for the next chapter!
redshift87 chapter 8 . 2/27/2009
What an awesome chapter. I loved that Garrus used his cunning, tech and his sniper rifle to save the day (I guess it sort of makes up for missing that headshot on Balak a couple chapters ago). I have to say, you're making Garrus one of my favorite characters. I like his friendship with Kaidan, and his quiet respect for Shepard.

And I think "unspoken bond" is a very good way to put it; it sounds like what Garrus would call it :-)
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