|Reviews for Not Logical|
| New.York.Celt chapter 3 . 7/13/2014
I really like your attention to small detail and your use of multiple descriptors.
But a few things in this story might cause some people to shy away from it. A 14 year old girl really shouldn't be in a romantic relationship with a 26 year old man! Sophia is also a little bit of a "Mary-Sue". The purple eyes, the myriad of positive attributes, to the 'southern drawl' she has, even though she's from Michigan.
I think you have a real way with writing and details; and you'd get a lot more readers if you made your OC a little more realistic.
Then again, this was written in 2009 and there's no doubt that you've only gotten more skilled as a writer (:
| Frostfire613 chapter 21 . 5/24/2012
| BookWorm chapter 7 . 3/10/2012
I think booth is a little ooc in these early chapters, mostly this one, you have to remember booth is a simple guy who likes simple things, mostly because that's what he can afford, and though he'd want to give his son/daughter the world and more he is unable to do so which was brought into light when he wanted to let parker go to a private school, but couldn't afford it, so as much as booth loves her tone it down a bit. Clothes, sure, Piano, maybe a cheaper one, he can moan groan and carry on about how he wants the best, but remember that he can't necissarily afford the best.
| BookWorm chapter 3 . 3/10/2012
pretty sure booth will mind, here's how that senario would go:
"Booth I would like to ingage in a relationship with your daughter once she becomes of leagal age."
glare *BANG* dead zack, the end
| WinterValentine chapter 21 . 1/22/2012
In ch 21 you had booth say 4 years. When it was in fact 3 years seeing as you Sophia as 15 when she was in the door step of booth. And when booth was all oh time went by so fast sophia was suppose to be 18. So yah. Other than that little mistake everything else was not bad.
| TheLampPostStation chapter 21 . 5/14/2010
O-KAY! Yet another GREAT Zach/OC fic, ...,...,..,,.,..,.,. uh... Lets give you the SS award (see my profile for the detailed explanation.) Its the second highest you can get! *scurrys off to read the sequel*
| DreamsOfFlying chapter 21 . 1/17/2010
Aw! This was adorable! I absolutely love Zack. :) Great story! Can't wait to read the sequel/continuation!
| Hikari Zero chapter 3 . 12/30/2009
Ohh, there is some french in you fic! Great! I was surprized and didn't see the difference in the beggining, but it's quite funny reading French here.
Well... There is just a little problem 'françois' is a name we say 'français' I'm sorry, if I upset you, but my teachers do the same mistakes as they arrive in France.
I'm sure I made mistakes too... .
| Greytune chapter 20 . 11/20/2009
"“Look out your window,” he said softly. Hesitantly, Sophia stood up from her bed and walked to her window; cell phone in hand slightly away from her ear, her other hand she held her white curtains back. Her eyes widened as she let out a gasp, nearly dropping her phone. All that came out was a barely audible whisper, “Oh Zack.”"
Does anyone know what happened or what she saw? Any ideas? Anyone?
| D chapter 20 . 10/9/2009
“Look out your window,” he said softly. Hesitantly, Sophia stood up from her bed and walked to her window; cell phone in hand slightly away from her ear, her other hand she held her white curtains back. Her eyes widened as she let out a gasp, nearly dropping her phone. All that came out was a barely audible whisper, “Oh Zack.”
What the hell did she see? Argh, I'm going crazy!
| Farrahmack chapter 1 . 9/13/2009
Oh thankie thankie! hehe Great fic thanks for not following the stupid story line of Zack getting locked up!
| bluephoenix65069 chapter 21 . 8/31/2009
hey wait u can't stop it there. do they get married in a church, outside what? do they have kids?
| Suezanne chapter 10 . 8/4/2009
no Parker and Her would totally get along well . I like the way you put them in
| Suezanne chapter 1 . 8/4/2009
it's so true Zack shouldn't be in there
| AriestheDreamer chapter 21 . 7/1/2009
Wow! Amazing story! Everyone sounded like they normally did in the show! You're an amazing writer and I can't wait to read the sequel!