|Reviews for This Private Moment|
| Kuri333 chapter 1 . 4/14/2009
I always felt (when reading your version of Alice and Jasper's story) that this was missing... how do they make love for the first time.
But I didn't imagine it this way. I'd say that in their case, their first time together would be as slow and cautious as when they first meet in the diner, with all Jasper's doubts, maybe this time in Alice...
I'd have make it a little slower.
But then again, that's just me.
Sorry about the grammar mistakes. I'm not used to write in English.
| Sunrises'stars'rainyafternoons chapter 1 . 4/11/2009
i luv u i luv u i luv u i luv u! i mean seriously- this chapter and the story u almost put it in were so amazing for me! i luv meeting other jasperalice fans and i just wanted let u know that u hav so much talent and if u dont get published for real someday then i dont know wat the world has come to! in this chapter u did put some rated m material- and yet u managed to keep the intense luv and devotion- the intence emotional aspects and most of all the innocence that their relationship is built of. thank u soo much for the time,effort, and most of all accuracy(u hav no idea how much it pisses me off wen people write fics that totally change how they met and their backstories!) that you hav put into this.
| EmmaRandomAs chapter 1 . 4/11/2009
Very interesting developments... I will enjoy seeing where you take this one, or if you make any modifications - for instance, is Edward still in the area? Does he pick up on Alice's thoughts? Does Jasper pick up on Edwards pain? Could that be another reason Jasper reacts so strongly when Alice screams?
It's interesting that you have said jasper is very experienced, yet when Alice screams, he reacts badly... surely he must have been with screamers before... did he react badly with them? or did he find some way to cope? If he did find a way to cope, why did he loose it with Alice? Did jasper confuse Edwards emotions for Alice's, and have that emotional combination of pain and desire take him right back to where he started?... it's intriguing to think about isn't it...
You have done very well so far, and as I said, I'm looking forward to seeing what you do now.
Best of luck.
| Pastiche Pen chapter 1 . 3/25/2009
Very well-done. I liked that you used their powers here.
| newcomer77 chapter 1 . 3/22/2009
This was really good writing.
I explored your other pieces of writing while waiting for 'tie me down to this world' updates, and this was truly a great piece! i want to read the story it belongs to now. Alot of stories like this are pretty cringeworthy and over the top, but you didn't get too graphic and you didn't make me think it wasn't very alice/jasperlike. I liked the part where he backed off cuz she screamed. Like he was really protective of her-that was a great touch to such an intimate point.
| GrlCalledLauren chapter 1 . 2/28/2009
That was cute! I like how you said citrusy you earned major points for that! I really loved the story though
| TeamJakeBella chapter 1 . 2/4/2009
despite non citrus lol awesome story
| JuliaCullen09 chapter 1 . 1/31/2009
I like the way you have actually used the powers of Alice and Jasper in this scene - it is part of what makes them unique. :)
| amor et veritas chapter 1 . 1/25/2009
I recently finished reading the story that, I suppose, elicited this one-shot, and much like with that story, I truly enjoyed reading this. It's an endearing, insightful composition that suits the established characters very well. AxJ. (sigh). Well done on your transitions by the way. Thanks again for writing, post more soon please! :]
| Realynn8 chapter 1 . 1/25/2009
| onpermanenthaitus chapter 1 . 1/20/2009
Aww that ws so adorable. Jasper and Alice are my fave characters and you got that spot on! good job
| BellaTonks chapter 1 . 1/19/2009
Simply adorable. :D
| ME chapter 1 . 1/19/2009
Aw this was a really nice chapter. I really feel like your transmitting Jaspers and Alice firsts times. It just sounds so like them. Great job. Now I'm gonna go read more of your stories :)
| VoldieBeth chapter 1 . 1/19/2009
Aww I love it! Cute one-shot.
| nobodyparticular chapter 1 . 1/19/2009
I really liked this a lot. I thought it captured jasper and alice perfectly. It was so sweet and I hope to see more.