|Reviews for Princess Tutu and the Secret Six|
| lizzi chapter 1 . 9/20/2009
I love this idea. However, the giant paragraphs are really difficult to read through.
Also, where did you think that Kinkan town was located in the anime? There was no mention of location.
I felt that you tried to lay down too much foundation in this chapter. The mention of where everyone was from, plus the joking about language, just confused me. How important is this information? Do we need to know all of this information? You've also included a really lengthy backstory, but it's placed after the lenghty filler information.
The backstory could really stand to be trimmed down. You don't need to include what Kraehe and Tuto wore at this point in time. It's not important to the backstory and merely causes the reader to start skimming.
The "...or so they thought" is quite gratuitous and rather out of place because you continue the chapter.
Will Mai and Yuma play a large role in the rest of the story? If they don't I'm baffled why you included them. You stated that the foursome of Rue, Fakir, Mytho and Ahiru were very close by the end of the backstory, so I fail to see the purpose of adding more background characters. The last thing I wanted to read after all of this exposition was another paragraph detailing the entire lifehistory of two characters that are going to barely have an impact on the story.
| Songbird of the End chapter 22 . 9/13/2009
Why does this story only have two reviews? It deserves so much more!
As you can probably guess, I loved it! This site doesn't have nearly enough Princess Tutu crossover fics, and about half are cruddy Naruto ones. (Yes, I am one of those people who enjoyed Naruto before it became American mainstream and thus, "ruined.") Considering most fanfiction writers are girls, you think there'd be more of them since the series is called "Princess Tutu" and uses ballet...
But I digress. I will admit to not being familiar with Captain Marvel's secret identity (Billy) and thought him a poorly hidden Gary Stu at the beginning. (Can you blame me? Rich despite growing up on the streets, excels at singing/playing an instrument/dancing, goes out with the main character, knows self-defence, etc.) But I recognized Captain Marvel (thanks to Agent-G, you should check out his stuff) and proceeded to beat my self esteem into the dust. Don't worry; it's used to it.
The only problem I had was their wordy speech patterns and how all of them seemed to sound alike. That traces back to some possible characterization issues and slight confusion over which "she" is talking. And there's the 15-20 lines in one paragraph, which gets tedious to read (which caused more confusion due to skipping the first big one that included your changes to the anime's storyline). One last thing is just a matter of personal preference: with Claire's costume, perhaps dark blue would have been a better secondary color than grey? Tutu's is pink and white instead of grey and white, so I thought indigo and black would be better than grey and black.
But, it is called personal preference for a reason.
I see that either you -are- a dance/music student, have a close friend in dance/music that you occasionally help, or just did craploads of research. If it's the last one, I applaud you (and if it's the first one, you get a standing ovation). I am also a sucker for long chapters, so extra points for that too.
This is also possibly the longest review I have ever given. Kanpai!
| Enuwey chapter 1 . 2/14/2009
The begining of any story is a chance to grab the atention of the readers and to keep them coming back for more. You have mangaged to do this, not so much with the beginning of the story it self, but with the preface. Now that isn't nessisarily a bad thing, infact its a good thing for both you and your story. Your able to keep anyoningly simple explanations away from the beginning of other chapters and can focus on simply letting the readers read the story and save questions for later (as in when they are finished reading the story).
One of the biggest downfalls of this story (and this chapter) are the characters. They all seem a little flat and undefined, with the tendancy of almost just becoming a part of the crowd. Despite that this is a very good story with a wonderful set of characters who need just a bit more personality and not much else.
The raven in the last paragraph works wonderfully tworards forshadowing the later troubles the characters will face. I very much look forward to the challenge of scripting and illistrateing this story into a comic as well as the joy of re-reading and reviewing this story that you have created.
| RodentOfUnusualSize chapter 1 . 2/12/2009
I read a little of it, and I like what I saw so far. I haven't read the manga, though and am hesitant to read the rest of it when I don't really know the story it's based on. Especially when it sounds so different. Do you know where I can find the manga online?