I just found your stories and this is the first one i have read. I love it! You write wonderfully!

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Awesome

You are a very good writer

This whole chapter make me cry.

Ugh it's weird normally I would feel bad...I would get that tingling feeling in my heart but at the moment I feel nothing...cause I don't ship them (Ross and Nessie)... I feel more sorry for Jacob...and Nessie. Ugh

Darn it!...I don't want her with Rose..I actually ship her with Nahuel :(

Ahhh gosh...bloody hell the conversation between Jacob and Nessie was really heartbroken... I actually want them to be together but then Leah would be so sad cause it would be a repeat of what happened with Sam. Gosh huge dilemma this is.

I was going to keep going and finish it but I just can't. This is an interesting concept but you have to check your spelling and grammar; it's too distracting! Sometimes you forget words, other times you add them, write the wrong word or completely misspell them. There are probably about 2-3 words per chapter that need to be fixed. (This is also a skill that every entry level job requires, so it would be good to learn to proof your papers and such.) The juvenile writing style, grammatical errors, and spelling errors makes me wonder how old you are and if you should be writing lemon-type material.

Jacob and Renesmee imprinted and you can't just imprint on someone who has imprinted. That makes no sense! But, I do understand that you have liberties as an author, I just don't think it makes any sense cannon wise. There are lots of new characters and their backgrounds are confusing. There are too many perspective changes. It makes it hard to keep track of whats going on. Finally, there's just a TINY bit too much of fluff in some of the scenes. I find that I can skip paragraphs and still understand what's going on. I feel like some of the characters original qualities got jumbled up a bit.

However, you really do have a unique story line here. I like the references to Edward and Bella because I feel that too many post breaking dawn FF completely forget about them. The soundproofing the interior walls was genius!

I really liked this chapter and the challenges of left behind when a love one dies. I wish Angela was in on the Bella secret. what a nice way to finish this moment.

(chapter 10) I know this is already finished so every thing will be a surprise to me. but I would think someone should be going to Volturi doing recon and finding out what is really happening? I have really enjoyed your story.

Of COURSE Emmett's favorite number is 69.

I am in love with this book and of coarse emmets number is 69...;)

I love this chapter. Just to let you know you confused descending and ascending. Dedown/minus/negative and Ahadd/plus/up. Other wise it's a great story. Sorry to nit/pick, but I just get annoyed with little this like that. I has taken me years to compensated my dyslexia, and to see misused word like that just up set me.
Especially, since I had to teach myself little tricks to be able to read and write on level. Also, just a reminder don't rely on spell check it doesn't have it in the program to understand the meaning of the sentence. And, Grammar check sucks! For example while I was typing AND, I forgot the d and Spell check left it as AN. I had to go back and put the D in.

Love the story but it would have been better I'd Jake and nessie were together like the origional books implied would happen