|Reviews for Kristina: A Fantasy|
| dreams and desperation chapter 1 . 9/18/2015
This is really interesting! The chemistry between the two fairies is pretty cool, they nicely contrast one another. The description of the feutus is really good, as are some of the metaphors.
I would say that the first few paragraphs are a little bit confusing, but the end is clear.
| Mominator124 chapter 31 . 8/9/2015
I read this some time ago and thought I'd reviewed it, but was quite surprised to find I hadn't, so here we go. :)
I very much enjoyed this chapter. Meeting Alberich's mother again was quite interesting. Despite her "madness" she seemed quite sane, and I loved her conversations with those who could not be seen. Kind of makes me wonder why they hang around her, though. Also makes me wonder why they didn't reveal themselves to Kristina as well, though I suppose perhaps they weren't actually there. ;D
It is sad that Madeleine doesn't recognize Alberich as her son, though I would love to know why she thinks her child was taken away by the fae.
I also particularly enjoyed the baby cap she made and presented to Kristina. What does she know that we don't yet? ;D
The scene in the study was kind of sad and melancholy - just thinking of Alberich going through his father's things and divvying them up. I wonder why it took him so long to do so? His father's been dead for a while - is it the presence of Kristina in his life and their planned future that has spurred him to do this now?
I LOVE the descriptions you use to "paint" your scenes, from the charming house to the light entering the study through the parted curtains. They really bring the story to life.
I also loved the pile of jewels - reminds me so much of Kay's Erik. XD
| Smiling Seshat chapter 1 . 7/25/2015
I quite like your writing style, and the lack of errors of any kind. It makes this a relaxing read.
| aronpuma chapter 2 . 7/24/2015
Back From the WA (Short) Review Game~
Now onto Chapter 2! And I must say in retrospect, this chapter is much more gripping than the first, especially in the end. I come away from this chapter wanting to go on, wanting to see Alberich grow up. Now that we've reached his actual birth and first days we can really see all the drama surrounding him, he becomes the focus, which he should be. I think I'd say that if you were to do a rewrite on this story, I would cut down chapter 1 and make it backstory integrated into this chapter, because the story is about the character being born, and it just leads to more suspense and more to start us out (though this might just be my anti-prologue bias reeling its ugly head).
Now, the best and worst parts of this chapter were the characters. Of the 5, Felicite and the midwife are the most interesting by far. You do great in describing them both. Magdalena felt a bit more like a thing to talk off of than a character in her own right (though she did have a nice moment with that Ava Maria) but it doesn’t fault the story. She does have her moment and she’s surrounded by interesting characters that at least I’d rather see.
Now, Mme. Neiman and her husband- both of them, the former especially, teetered between character and plot device enough to throw me off my game. Mme Neiman did have her backstory of being wed at 16 (which was also paced very well and just generally enjoyable) and I liked how rarely she spoke. But I felt like when she did speak, there wasn’t enough to define her as more than a plot device to give the baby a mask. I understand intellectually where her hatred towards her child comes from, but I don’t feel like she really shows it in her own right, and it feels very… evil queen-ish. Her husband was more notable in his odd character that I’m sure will be more revealed, though I felt the hint you gave us of him was ever so slightly too long. Not long enough to make the scene unenjoyable, but enough to make me feel like there was more you were taking too long to tease. I think that’s more a me thing though, it’s so nitpicky that it could have picked off the mask when it was tied to his face ;)
For Pace, I have less notes because it was a good, solid pace. The beginning could have been tweaked slightly faster but hey, the midwife had to talk to someone. A line could have been condensed perhaps? That’s the level of nitpick I’m talking about.
And finally, clichedness. I want to note that the plot for this chapter was very expected, and it was Felicity, the Midwife, and the parents to a lesser extent that made this chapter good (and it was good). So the expected progression through the fairy tale doesn’t quite matter. However, Mme Neiman, if given a bit more evidence of character (this could be down to describing her tone of voice. Everything I’m saying about this chapter is very subtle), could make this chapter that much better
So thanks for a great read, I can’t wait to read more! :)
| aronpuma chapter 1 . 7/7/2015
From the WA Long Review Game~
Now not knowing Lost, I figured I'd be lost on some of those stories (pun intended) so I have read this chapter from 6 years ago, and I will try to do my review in a way that will best help you as a writer, perhaps help inspire future stories. And to do that I will focus on the details.
The use of the Moonlight. I like how subtly you used this symbol to drive the narrative and really prelude the fantasy elements that I can tell set the tone for your story while not actually having read the rest. Those three sentences that mention the moon are all I need to understand your chapter’s tone, which is the most important part of the introduction. And all the other description you use does not hurt by any means, though I would like to offer suggestion.
The Stonecutter is not really strongly identified with the Faye or without it. I feel like exploring how he’s on that boundary would be an interesting thing to consider in some of the details. We know he likes to live on the edge of reality and this fantasy world, but it is never described in quite the detail we get with the women’s relationship to the faye. Look to where you described the home, the moonlight, the skin. Those details about her skin are fantastic to the mythic elements of her character, while the realness of her fat are just so telling about how reality is destroying her.
So I would explore using such language in later stories to tie with the characters like you are already doing.
Now past the description, I felt I couldn't get a better first chapter plot wise. Our currently not born protagonist is given a truly great origin, where his identity is nicely formed by how other people identify his existence, which is the basis for how character is formed on the stage, so nice use of thematic ties.
And in terms of dialogue, I felt it all treated the characters well and therefore worked well. The only part I could question is the Fairy King's last line, just because he doesn't give much sign of having a penchant for speech or metaphor earlier. But still, the imagery he describes is fantastic though it is slightly tonally inconsistent with the rest of the chapter. It's still all fantasy, though before the violence and tragedy seems much more character driven, while it seems much more gothic and instinct base in the last monologue. Not that either tone is bad, just one implies that the trouble is done by nature and the other implies that it is done by personal motivation. Perhaps both are explored, perhaps its a theme you did not intend. Perhaps I just made little to no sense, but no matter what I enjoyed the chapter, I enjoyed your tone, and I compliment your writing and dedication in crafting a story for 6 years.
| AnglophileveterisAmericae chapter 1 . 6/26/2015
Hi this is Auntie again, from the Long Review games.
You gave me permission to review any other story that you had, I have read, and reviewed many of your Lost stories. So I sort of feel like I know your unique narration voice but I was interested to read some of your other older stories. I looked through your profile to try to find one that didn't have so many reviews. It seemed most of them had so instead I decided to one based on your short introductions and my own limited but spread fandom knowledge.
It was a bit difficult for me to decide between your Phantom of the Opera series and the Greek Mythology story you had. Ultimately I decided to read your AU version of Phantom of the Opera because your main OC was a Swedish singer.
Opening: If you ask me it's always good state what number your first chapter has and also to start with the title of the same chapter.
I really like the very first sentence [the moon glistened over roof tiles of the stonecutter’s house...] I'm partial to anyone writer who chooses to begin by describing the scenery. You do it so elegantly and with just enough words. The sentence alone tells me your vocabulary most be very extensive.
The first sentence was written eloquently and it made me want to continue reading.
Ending:The ending was a bit of a surprise to me I would never have seen that coming: Eric, Christina's husband- defeating a fairy that insulted his wife. I would imagine I would want my significant other to if not defend my at least support me. Yet the fighting isn't settled since it just begun in the very last part of the first chapter.
The very last sentence [..the two figures softened and blurred into nothingness] doesn't tell us if Eric really managed to defeat the fairy queen, which is what I would want to know in the next chapter.
Dialogues: I sort of expected to see another well written story, and I was right ! You didn't disappoint me your dialogues might be were a reader gets proof of your broad vocabulary and your unique style of writing. Not many can manage to write a story so eloquently. The very first line of dialogue [When is the cuckold returning] convinced me of what I already told you, and already knew.
Characters: You manage to not stray away from third person narration when you describe your characters. That is proof of good writing, especially when you manage to not once refer to someone with their given name or surname. stefanie, you are able to write an M rated fic without it being to explicit and direct. That is another plus.
The stonecutter has a young wife, and by the sound of it a beautiful one too. He might be significantly older and I get the impression that he may have settled his young wife based on physical appearance. Would that be the tragic story that the stone cutter's wife experienced?
If you intention was to make the stonecutter and the stonemason appear as the evil protagonists than you managed to fulfil that thought. If you say someone is old, sour and gone for weeks how could anyone not start to feel like such a character would be unsympathetic?
I also get the impression that the fairy man is the narrator but I could be mistaken here.
It would be easy to assume that stonecutter and stonemason's wife would be trapped in an unhappy marriage possibly due to the fact that they were never considered equals to their husbands. They don't seem to have married for love so those two relationships seems very authentic.
Not even the relationship between the fairy man and his wife is portrayed as a harmonious marriage. It makes me hope that the relationship between Eric and Christina will have all of the components the previous three lacked.
Writing: Your broad vocabulary means that you are able to write stories from different fandoms, but in this particular case your choice of vocabulary seems to make the story more believable since it is Phantom of the Opera.
Spelling: I think I possibly spotted your only typo in a paragraph you say [the fay..] I do believe you meant to say [fairy man].
Enjoyment: I would have enjoyed your AU version of Phantom of the Opera even without the surprising twist at the very last second. I mentioned it several times within this review.
Plot: It was a little difficult to tell what the actual plot was but it seemed to be revealed at the end.
Pace: The way you use the language makes the story pace develop evenly and not seem forced.
Techniques: You seem to favour writing stories from a third person perspective that is my favourite narration. You also know when it is most appropriate to use italics and you have neat short paragraphs that are broken off where they should end.
Summary: Overall a very nice story although I normally don't read M rated stories unless they have foul language. Well done!
| Lune chapter 34 . 6/4/2015
A beautiful, well written, and descriptive work with just a touch of fantasy to make it more enchanting.
| Lune chapter 19 . 6/4/2015
A lovely and fascinating story so far with a delicate touch of fantasy and mystery that is compelling. The story reads more as an original novel than anything else, with the characters resembling very little their Leroux counterparts.
In this chapter, despite your lovely writing and rich descriptiveness (both highly commended), I must inform you there is an error.
When first Alberich uses the box, he makes a comment on the strangeness of their being a ghost and distinctly shows no knowledge of what you've just mentioned. Furthermore, he admits to Kristina in another chapter that he is merely making use of the box based off the assumptions of it belonging to a ghost ( a comment that heavily implies the ghost was there prior and he is taking advantage of it).
| Silverblue60 chapter 34 . 5/18/2015
From my heart, Stephanie: Thank you for finishing this strange, fantastical story! No other writer could have captured our imaginations in such a way. Of the tales you've written, this will always be one of my favorites. Silver/Annemarie
| Anastasia Lolita chapter 34 . 5/5/2015
This is such a great story! I love coming back to it! :)
| Queen Maria chapter 34 . 5/3/2015
Well, even though I was late to the party, I've thoroughly enjoyed Kristina. This story was very original, balancing the differences and similarities to Phantom very well while still maintaining its individuality. I stopped thinking of it as fanfic and more as a stand alone story. Glad to have read it!
| my-echo chapter 34 . 5/3/2015
I've been reading all along and loving every update, no matter how long the wait between! :) Sorry I haven't left more reviews; my life has been so busy and ever-changing in the last few years it's a wonder I ever have time to hop on FFNet at all. I'm sad to see the story come to an end but what a wonderful way to end it! Thank you so much for writing this beautiful, enchanting, lyrical story. I've loved your attention to historical detail, your intimate and intriguing portrayals of both minor and major characters, and the effortless way in which the supernatural was wound into the realistic. (I already loved it, but a great deal of the imagery in this story became all the more enjoyable and relatable to me once I became pagan a few years ago). Best wishes! 3
| inlemoon chapter 1 . 2/25/2015
You might remember me as CreamPuff, back in the day of forums. I still follow your works. :) Enjoyed this chapter, always love your descriptions. Looking forward to reading more. :)
| Queen Maria chapter 31 . 2/10/2015
Oh that's so precious. I was hoping his mother would be able to handle talking to Kristina. Can't wait for the next update!
| Silverblue60 chapter 30 . 1/5/2015
To my favorite FanFiction author for many years, a lady of courage and exceptional skill, I send my wishes for a happy, healthy, and wonderful year to come! Thank you for this lovely story.