Reviews for Lestazuma's Revenge
doxiemama chapter 2 . 7/23
I know this was written a few years back but I am laughing so hard I am crying! The mental pictures you paint with words are hysterical!
melyons chapter 1 . 7/10
aruvqan chapter 2 . 6/30
Back in the day, I lived with a boyfriend in a house with 3 bedrooms and a very odd sort of lease. It gave the landlord the right to effectively force a third roomie on us even though we were willing to pay the whole amount of the rent ourselves [it was in a college town and a fairly common sort of lease back then.] So we ended up with a roomie who was an ex-con [complete with all the earmarks - very publicly and ostensibly reading a bible if someone in charge like the landlord could see him, stealing and hording food, stealing gas out of my car and suchlike.] It devolved into his only having paid first and last months rent, and as it was now the third month he was living there he wasn't paying any rent or anything on the utilities and since this was the era of the long distance calling cards and numbers he didn't actually manage to land any long distance bills on us.

We got tired of him stealing our food, and Dan liked that premade chocolate milk, so he got a half gallon carton, a box of chocolate ex-lax and we drank off a couple nice big glasses of it, then blended the box of ex-lax in hot water and carefully added it to the chocolate milk. Every day, Dan would carefully pour a glass and dump it down the drain and set the glass in the sink with a slosh of water to soak it until it was time to do the dishes like he would normally do if he was actually drinking the milk) We noticed the level of the doped milk going down faster than if Dan alone was drinking it, and lo and behold, the roomie came down with the stomach bug that was going around ... not evil grin There was enough milk in the carton to keep this up for a week ...

Then while he was out with a friend doing whatever [probably out stealing stuff] Dan took a chunk of pink fiberglass insulation, tossed it into a blender with a couple tablespoons of whole black peppercorns and hit puree. He took the resulting impromptu itching powder and we sacrificed a turkey baster for him to go and whiffle the stuff through his bedding, hanging clothing in the closets, his towels in the bathroom and into his drawers full of clothing. Then we cleaned everything up and waited. His friend dropped him off and he went in to take a nap. Blessed silence occurred for about an hour, then swearing, followed by a shower. Then more swearing, and another shower, then a phone call to his buddy who dropped off a small paper bag and left. Yet another shower, and more swearing, then he stormed out of the house complaining about bedbugs and lice and going to go complain to the landlord. He then returned with his friend and cleared everything out of his room and left ...

And that is how you get an asshole to move out of his scammed housing without going through the 6 month eviction process in the state of NY.
sam's-lurker-droid chapter 2 . 9/26/2012
LMFAO! I love it when someone is looking fora story and its something I missed when it was posted! Thank you, it 'twas most awesome!
christibabe chapter 1 . 9/26/2012
Just as funny the second time around!
Shastter chapter 2 . 8/8/2012
This is soo funny i couldnt stop laughing! Hahaha you are good! Please update!
christibabe chapter 2 . 2/11/2012
Oh MAN! Every time I read one of your stories I end up laughing so hard the tears start streaming down my face.
Vulcan Rider chapter 2 . 11/21/2011
Oh God! I can't remember when I've laughed so hard. Boys will be boys and this was soooo Junior High, but you've gotta admit that Ranger's toxic dump was hilarious. Then Lester's world class big stage boner was great. Not to mention when he soiled his pants. I can't believe he just stood up there and took it. I'd have slithered away, job or not. That was great. Just hilarious. These guys are crazy. LOL Great job.

litlhulc chapter 2 . 7/28/2011
OMG This story is so funny! I can't stand it! I can definately reaad this one a few times over! Great job!
Mik N'jirnav chapter 2 . 3/2/2011
Oh Em Gee-NEVER mess with Ranger!
Mik N'jirnav chapter 1 . 3/2/2011
Oh EM GEE! Oh my gosh, is it going to get worse? Poor Ranger! But it was funny...
Lu2read chapter 1 . 3/1/2011
Just read about this on Babe Squad...I laughed soooo hard, this story is so funny! On to chapter 2. I also will read this anytime I need a laugh! I really needed one today. Thanks
MnGrammaX3 chapter 2 . 1/24/2011
OMG... i was just surfing through fanfiction and came across this story. i nearly wet myself laughing through these two chapters! you are AWSOME.

Emelie Martel chapter 2 . 11/25/2010
Absolutely, without a doubt the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire life. My tears are spent, snots now cover my keyboard, my back hurts, my stomach aches and I don't know that I'll ever be able to fart in public again without laughing full out. You are one crazy b***h girl. Did you write this sober? Damn, you are nuts. Great, great job.
StupidForPlum chapter 2 . 12/17/2009
I like! Looking forward to more.
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