I have to admit that this story is so great and I can totally see it happening! Just because of Draco's name, Harry made friends with both of them and then turned them into sheltering mother hens. Can I have a scene where someone attempts to explain to Harry that he's famous and Draco and Ron become rabid, or the one where they explain to Neville about why he needs sheltering? I love your Neville! He's surprisingly introspective. A firefly animagus, it's something I can surprisingly imagine. Surprisingly suitable. And that part with the mental disorder book was really good. I wonder which one Harry would have if he did have one.
I also want Harry to discover the concept of Dues ex Machina and attempt to throw himself of a cliff or something to see what will stop him-it's Draco and Ron, of course.
I totally misunderstood the phrase 'secret illegal lessons', by the way-the first thing I thought of was underage stuff, so I thought they were teaching each other to kiss and stuff or something and my whole worldview flipped for a moment as I looked at those boys until I realized what was actually going on. It was horrifying for a bit, and then I was like "alright? I guess?" and then I was like "wait no, Sirius is in the basement and they're taking lessons from him."
I can totally see it happening, though-"Draco, do you know how to kiss? Of course you do. Would you teach me?" and Draco's horrified, but Harry is really really stubborn about this one for some reason, and he has to attempt to instruct Harry before he wanders off and asks a teacher or Buckbeak. Then he wonders out loud to Neville "what's sex?" or "how are babies made?" or something of that sort, and Neville gets dragged along on his quest to find out because he doesn't know either, he's a bit curious, and it would be a horrible idea to leave Harry alone on a Knowledge Hunt. So he goes and asks Ron next. Ron blushes and stammers and won't talk about it, refers them to Draco. Draco sighs. Pinches his nose. Plans to gut Weasley for making him do all the explaining about puberty. Sits Neville and Harry down for tea and a Talk. He decides to become emotionally void for this period of explaining. So after Harry demands literally all of the details and thinks it's "cool" or whatever, he goes, "I don't see what the fuss is. I guess I'll just try it with Luna!" and he's gone. Draco sighs in relief and then his brain catches up to what Harry said, and he's like "NOOOOO WHY ME" and tries to run after him. Just as Harry is telling Luna what he wants to do, Draco runs up and Luna points him out, saying, "I don't think Draco would like it very much if you mated with me. I think he wants to try it himself instead." Draco freezes as Harry turns around and says, "Oh! Okay then! Alright, let's do it Draco! Wait, how does it work with two boys? Never mind, I'll think of something. Actually, three, because Neville was interested and I think he needs some hands-on experience too."
And thus The Puberty Fiasco happens. (Draco and Neville can't forget that day, as much as they want to. They don't do it again until they're older [way older], but the kisses are good. Harry never understands just how good his kisses are.)
Haha. I'm sorry if I ruined anyone's innocence.

I want a full fic of this SO BADLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA!
I've been laughing nonstop since I started this chapter and all of Draco's reactions are my absolute favorite and I am DYING IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY~!

›› "You drive the... Knight Bus, right? As Stubby Boardman?"
Good one! :)

Awesome boggart gag with Harry and his friends. :)
This Harry seems close to what I would like to see - a Harry who was a spark of the "Girl Genius" variety. (Other writers have taken characters like Luna and Hermione to the madness place, but Harry not so much.)

Moaning Myrtle with a dictation quill for the diary is genius! :)
First 2 chapters are promising overall, but the story is abandoned.

This is really one of the most hilarious stories I have read

I'm dying to see Snape's reaction to Harry.

Great story!

Very amusing. And I enjoy exasperated-Draco so much!

I absolutely love this. It's hilarious.

So, I've been rereading the stories on my favorites list; and I misread the title as 'On a train, switching snacks'...

This is bloody brilliant! I love the dynamics between the four and their reactions to Harry are hilarious XD

What? I've never heard the end of the spaghetti song before?! How is this possible? I only knew it up to the line about 'nothing but mush'. AHHHH my childhood has been...well, not ruined, just severely truncated.

Anyway, I really like these one-shots. (Multi-shots?) They're so quirky and funny. I laughed really hard at your AN about Neville being the Heir of Slytherin, and how of course it wouldn't make any sense so you absolutely had to write it.

I actually found your story through gbbz's signature on DLP . net. He had "The rock was... this really really magically powerful rock... really rare and powerful and valuable because it... jumped out of my pocket all on its own and started hitting him." He nodded firmly, cementing the validity of his story via personal conviction rather than logic or evidence. - "On a Train, Switching Tracks" by Mede" as his signature, and it was just so funny I had to find the story for myself. I'm glad I did.

one of the best parody. ROFL

OMG, Draco and Ron works really hard.