|Reviews for At the Beginning|
| Sissy chapter 1 . 12/28/2012
When waking up from the coma, wasn't he vent depending? I thought it said somewhere in the books that it took him a while to get off the vent. That would likely have meant that he couldn't speak when he woke up? Or at least would have noticed something was seriously wrong right from the beginning? With a broken neck, he would likely have been in a halo type neck brace, thus not being able to shake his head when waking up? Depending on his duration of the coma of course.
More research might be necessary.
| JA chapter 1 . 11/25/2012
The 'You're a quad' quote made me cringe a bit. It seems a little harsh to announce it to him that way. I expect it is done a little more subtly. It seems a little too rushed. Otherwise, I like the small touches that made Rhyme himself. It definitively felt like him although I imagine he was a little different from the way we know him now, six years after the accident.
| hansolofan chapter 1 . 2/21/2009
okay okay, I know this is long overdue. (I'm no less free-er, just very tired from rushing litreview, due monday can you believe it!)
I don't quite get this line:
'as he looked up into a huge oak beam that was crushing down on him, he became unconscious.' sounds jarring, maybe you should rephrase it. I love the next line though, the floating and sinking thing, lovely way to describe.
I love the ending, especially his reaction, and the fact that he didn't know what a 'quad' was. The way you left the statement hanging is great too.
ahahah the Helen Keller reference cracked me up.
okay yay write more yeah! (indy/marion
| HeyWhatever919 chapter 1 . 1/25/2009
OMG I LOVE THIS FIC WAN TING! I think its like on par to the Flying Without Wings one. The use of language is like fab. The 'pregnant' pause and the way you convey Dobyns breaking the news to Rhyme. You just keep getting better and better hon. And Hahah the comparison to Helen Keller. But its awesome. I think your fan fics are like a million times better, and awesomer than some of the crap you find out there which goes like this.
"insert your name in blanks.
Nicky tilted her face towards his. '_ I love you'
I mean WTH luh. PEOPLE ARE DESPO. I got so UGH reading that. But yes I'm desperately trying to get my hands on a copy of the broken window. and your fic just made me more desperate! hahah. Keep writing and love ya loads! (: Tc.
| Gamoora chapter 1 . 1/24/2009
I love this series and I'm so glad to find fan fiction for it. Great job, by the way. I really like the way you show Rhyme's feelings and growing dread as Dobyns slowly breaks the news. Definitely looking forwards to more.
| beautiful D chapter 1 . 1/23/2009
anything! (: hahaha kay fine anyway, like i said before, YOU WRITE WAY BETTER THAN ME. at least now i know how the stupid guy gets paralysed. im so proud of myself. kay and a little bit proud of you. a little. HAHA