Reviews for Twilight books, plot only
Guest chapter 2 . 8/16/2014
hahahaha epic ending.
Thescarredman chapter 2 . 6/17/2014
Thank you. I've struggled for years to get through the Twilight books and been forced time and time again to shut the volume I'm on at the time and walk away. Now the pressure's off, because I can talk about the novels with all the intelligence and sensitivity they deserve.

Do one of these for 'Fifty Shades', will you? If your stomach can handle it.
Guest chapter 2 . 7/24/2013
Guest chapter 1 . 7/24/2013
(read: because he's finally found someone with a personality). Me? I wish
Ok, ya, I'm pretty sure u just offended Anne Rice AND her Vampires (FEAR AKASHA’S WRATH ), except for Alice, she's she the ONLY one that make the movies worth watching (& even than her doesn't get much screen time, CURSE YOU TWIGOIDS, CURSE YOU TO HELL!) Carlisle's another one
The Terrible Jester chapter 1 . 9/18/2011
LOL! i love this! instant favourite!
TwilightFan chapter 1 . 3/9/2011
Not to bad, but just to let everyone know, Nessie is not an evil spawn. She is very nice and sweet. And FYI procreate means: pro·cre·ate (prkr-t)

v. pro·cre·at·ed, pro·cre·at·ing, pro·cre·ates


1. To beget and conceive (offspring).

2. To produce or create; originate.


To beget and conceive offspring; reproduce. It doesn't mean to have sex. They weren't even trying to conceive. Oh and you might put in how the Volterra found out about Nessie and why they care about her at all.
emmestorm chapter 2 . 1/16/2011
Hear, hear!
Chaos2279 chapter 1 . 9/12/2010
I should have read this instead of wasting my time reading the books. Bravo!
leah chapter 2 . 9/2/2010
hahha. this is amazing.
nairiefairie chapter 1 . 7/23/2010
holy shit you did it!

you wrote the twilight 'saga' (insert snork and eye roll here, seriously who would call it a saga, it's an epidemic, worst then the swine flu) bettter then the author. how did you do it ;p
MsPip chapter 2 . 7/17/2010
Couldn't agree more. D
Morgan chapter 1 . 5/23/2010
Salome Weil chapter 2 . 4/7/2010
This was amazing. Book-a-Minute amazing. XD The second chapter was my favorite. :)
Satele chapter 1 . 3/31/2010
Unfortunately I wasted my time on the first movie but I figure if I wanted to know what all the fuss was about, it would be better to spend two hours watching moving pictures then twice that on a book.

I now wish I had come across your fanfic earlier. It would have saved me watching the driest acting and a drier yet story line to ever come together in one movie. At least Eragon had some flying dragons.

Nice summary.
Cristobal chapter 1 . 3/23/2010
The word "procreate" means to produce babies. So if they're not producing babies, it'd just be "copulate" or "fornicate." And if they are producing babies than it's redundant.

Otherwise, good show.
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