Reviews for Powerpuff Betrayal
SakuraBlossom58 chapter 13 . 1/1/2014
I love this story so much and can't wait to read more. Update already!
LuluCalliope chapter 10 . 8/1/2012
Huh, I'm surprised that Princess wasn't the bratty girl at the beginning of this chapter. Oh, well...her "Daddy" is probably sending her to this exclusive private school.

Oh! Blossom knows about the kiss...I sense danger...
LuluCalliope chapter 7 . 8/1/2012
The suspense is TERRIBLE...I hope it lasts!
LuluCalliope chapter 2 . 8/1/2012
Sniff...sniff...what's that smell?

Oh, of course! SUSPENSE! This chapter is full of it! Great work!
IsThisYourCard chapter 13 . 6/16/2012
The story was good overall. I don't completely understand the ending, but I still enjoyed the story. There are a lot of grammar and spelling errors, like checks instead of cheeks and do instead of due. All of those things could be fixed with a beta or some good proof reading. One thing I noticed that was more prominent at the beginning and less at the end was that all other characters except Bubbles, Him, and (kinda) the professor didn't have a lot of depth. They weren't really characters in a story, but were computers in a video game. They seemed unintelligent and shallow. This lessened a bit towards the end, but they still acted like stereotypical characters.

One other thing I was confused on was Bubbles's energy swings. She's suddenly really tired at one point, but had enough energy to fly 10 seconds later? That's something you might want to look into.

I don't mean any of this in a mean way, mean it as constructive criticism. You have a lot of potential, you just need to work on it a bit more.
NOLONGERACTIVE55 chapter 1 . 4/9/2012
This story was amazing I wish there was more lol but you are the writer.
RayLedgend chapter 1 . 12/25/2011
Yuck. There were so many grammar errors that I could barely keep reading, but much worse than that was trying to understand who was talking for some of the story. You see, for a bit, you keep referring to Bubbles exclusively as "her" or "she" when there are two other girls around. Makes it confusing who you're talking about. If you're going to be in third person, use Bubbles' name when it's appropriate, so we can determine which "her" or "she" you're talking about, and if you'd rather not do that, make the story in first person.

Story hasn't really got going yet, so I can't really critique anything other than your mechanics at this point, but they need some work. There is one part of your story that kind of weirded me out, though, it's this: The Rowdyruff Boys showing up seemed kind of random. I gotta wonder if that small little fight is going to have any impact on the story, or if it's just here for no reason P
NobodyJustdead chapter 6 . 11/14/2011
that was sweet of the rrb to help Bubbles out, even though they her and her sisters at school. But why would Him kiss Bubbles? i know he loves her but why?
MasterPh0bia chapter 1 . 3/31/2011
Loved the story :)
redredreds chapter 13 . 2/19/2011
I COMMAND YOU TO CONTINUE PLZ IT CANT I WAS THINKING FOR AN ENDING BASED ON THE BUTTER FLY AFFECT 1 WERE BUBBLES IS TWENTY TWO AND SO ARE THE OTHER TWO THEY DONT REMEMBER EACH OTHER AND THEY PASS EACH OTHER IN A CROUD LOOK AT EACH OTHER BUT THIS TIME THEY GO INTO A HUG AND BUBBLES EXPLAINS(YOU THINK OF IT)HOW HIM LET HER GO AND STUFF
Groudon202 chapter 13 . 2/11/2011
Good, but a tip: don't do really long paragraphs, cause it drags that way. Split those page-long paragraphs into three, prehaps?

And, confusing ending too.
XxBloodsbanexX chapter 13 . 2/5/2011
Noo! It ends too abruptly! I mean it was an okay ending but you should have extended it just a bit more. Gah,they were so close! /

Good story. You should extend the ending, or do a sequel. Definitely a sequel. A sequel would work. Yes.

Good story. If you fix some of the earlier chapters and get ride of those text blocks, it'll be a lot more enjoying and easy to read.

I really hope you do the sequel, and I'll be eager to read it.

XxBloodsbanexX
XxBloodsbanexX chapter 11 . 2/5/2011
Him is being a naughty boy!

I think he wants Bubbles and he doesn't even know it. 3
XxBloodsbanexX chapter 10 . 2/5/2011
Ooooh, Bubbles gonna get it noow!

Eh. Text block. Ah...
XxBloodsbanexX chapter 7 . 2/5/2011
Pretty good. I'm glad to see more Him in this chapter, I enjoy his appearances. I wonder what he's up to... You do Him quite well, he's OOC yet he isn't, which I think is somewhat of a feat. Bubbles's reactions are expected, and I think it's so her to be sick of being unhappy and to just want to be happy again.
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