|Reviews for Anything to Save You|
| taaani chapter 20 . 4/12/2011
u kno...i luv u 4 such a agr8 creation
| MissNikita chapter 20 . 12/8/2010
Beautiful story, love conquers all, sometimes we just have to remember this.
| Ashlie Christine chapter 20 . 4/24/2010
Great ending! Luved it!
| Exile Mean Opiate chapter 1 . 9/17/2009
[He caressed my check before kissing it lightly.]
Kissing her check? Yeah, he's truly in love with her. Oh... He must've been a hired date. Sorry, my bad.
[knowing that we would be soon parted only strained our relationship even further.]
[“Hey love birds,” Edward’s sister Alice said.]
Insert a comma between 'hey' and 'love.' You are making a reference to Bella and Edward. When you are referring to someone in that kind of contents, *always* use a comma.
[I felt as graceful as a swan.]
*snorts* Didn't see that coming... At all. Honestly.
[Alice was not only my boyfriend’s sister; she was also my best friend.]
A simple comma will work as well instead of that semicolon.
[“You were right Ally,” I smiled.]
Please, insert a comma.
[Alice smiled in return before waltzing off with Jasper in the opposite direction.]
That was it? Only a smile? Nothing more?
[If only every moment could be like this]
This should be in Italics or with apostrophes.
[He looked so worried, almost as if he was keeping a secret from me.]
Another comma after 'almost.'
[“Do I make you happy,” he asked me.]
Is this a question or a statement. *What do you think my last sentence was?*
[“What,” I asked confused.]
That comma should be a question mark...
[“Do I make you happy,” he repeated.]
Use a *QUESTION MARK.*
[“What is he doing here,” Edward said darkly.]
A question mark. Are you afraid to use it?
[“You said he wouldn’t be here Bella!”]
A comma is missing. AGAIN.
[Edward’s eyes instantly went black.]
. Bella should run; maybe he wants to feed.
Oh damn. Sorry. This isn't a vampire story; Edward just worried that someone would take away his check.
[He used to be part of my group. All of us were inseparable.]
Join these two with a semicolon.
[“Jacob please,” I pleaded.]
Okay, you are afraid of a comma as well.
[“Me,” Jacob yelled.]
Jacob had a Botox shot? :O That's the only reason I could think of for not using an exclamation mark in there.
[“Why is it that you always blame me Bella?]
Use a comma.
[He gripped me tighter to him making it impossible for me to breathe.]
Yeah! Suffocate her! This way you won't get dumped for a Botox-addict.
[“You have no right to be here Jacob Black!”]
Have you even *heard* of comma rules?
[Edward tensed even further and held me tighter to his chest which was now heaving in anger.]
...so she is dead now?
[“Bella,” Edward said with a questioning tone.]
A QUESTIONING TONE indicates a use of a QUESTION MARK.
[“Bella,” Edward said in shock trying to pull me close to him once more.]
So he didn't succeed in suffocating her. Good man, Edward, I'd try again as well.
[He continued to do so until he saw the tears break free from my eyes.]
Holy , that girl has some stamina, I'll give her that. A guy tried to smother her for three times and only now she reacted?
[She was my own personal angel sent to me from God, I had always believed that.]
Kiddies, there's your proof. God exists because Edward Cullen said so.
[She was my heaven and she was my earth. She was my wind and she was my sky.]
You forgot to add, "She was everywhere." That would've made a perfect description of God.
[She could do so much better yet she never even considered it.]
One point for Mary Sue.
[We had always been there for each other and we had never been parted.]
The 'we had' after 'and' is excessive. Lose it.
[She was just about to answer when I heard him speak my loves name.]
An apostrophe. Do you strongly dislike that as well?
[Jacob agreed to stay away from Bella once and for all, we had a deal.]
[The only reason he was doing any of this was because he had always been jealous that I had been the one to ultimately win Bella’s heart.]
Yeah, we guys love our toys, but we really aren't fighting like bunch of schoolgirls over Barbies for them.
[“I’m sorry,” I said finding it difficult to meet her enraged gaze.]
What is he, a man or a spineless worm?
[“Stop it,” she screamed before running away from us.]
Yeah. Stop it. Can't you see that this is difficult for her. Leave her alone. *If this seemed okay to you, I suggest finding a book 'Punctuation for Dummies.'*
[“What,” I asked taken back by her words.]
Back to where? She hadn't had drama enough that she wanted to go back to the dance? Use the right words.
[She laughed a humorless laugh before starring out through the window.]
Who did she star? Edward Pattinson to play Edward in the movie?
[Her eyes narrowed as she starred at me intently.]
Oh, her eyes narrowed because now she had to think who was playing her?
It is stared, not STARRED. Get your words right.
Ahh. . You had so many mistakes in here that you'd get an F in school for this. The second story I come across (this one actually shows some promise) and then I have to play the parrot again. Don't they teach you anything at school again? If you are posting something, make sure it doesn't make your readers cry from the inappropriate punctuation. I, for one, can't concentrate on the main idea (which wasn't given enough background in this story) if the constant comma/question mark mistakes just keep getting in the way! Learn something about punctuation, fix those oh so obvious mistakes and you'll have much more readers. Your plot has promise, but your language skills could be better.
| Scared-Like-Me chapter 20 . 8/10/2009
that was so beautiful.
i love it!
heal mybleeding heart
| LifeSuxAndThenYouDie chapter 11 . 5/5/2009
...EW! GROS! tanya and edward? HUGE EW bella and jacob? MEGA EW!
| LifeSuxAndThenYouDie chapter 6 . 5/5/2009
WHAT! NO NO NO NO AND NO! jacob CANNOT ruin this! you've gotta be kiddin me! Oh Mi God!
other than that little mishap im lovin it!
| Twilighter10 chapter 20 . 3/27/2009
Such a great story! It is so beautifully written! I loved it!
| flyingninja chapter 20 . 3/26/2009
amazing happenes! that really was an awsome story very well writen
| MashiaraDaiShan chapter 20 . 3/24/2009
That was really good ! I loved it...
| MashiaraDaiShan chapter 19 . 3/24/2009
That was really good. I cried
| mybigteddybearemmett chapter 20 . 3/24/2009
Good job i really loved this story and you wrote it so well.
| Sara811 chapter 20 . 3/24/2009
OMG! i absolutely loved it! AMAZING!
Can't wait for your next story! D
| gaby47 chapter 20 . 3/24/2009
ah :D so sweet!
| Sol Spell Diggory chapter 20 . 3/24/2009
Stephenie, Edward Jr., Emily, Samantha, Everett and Derek!
Loved the names!
I'll be waiting for your next story, dear friend!