|Reviews for Girl of my Dreams|
| AlexandraaCullen chapter 6 . 9/20
Liking this so far but I don't like Edward in this chapter. Best friends should always come first over crushes. He sounded rude when he said he would have to settle for second best his best friend. But I know it will change eventually
| Sweetie16 chapter 32 . 6/8
I really liked your story and concept. I just wished that you did more with it. Your plot line could have had so much more depth to it and your ending was sub-par. Also, for future reference, you can't tell the gender of the baby in the first trimester of pregnancy. That usually comes later. Likewise, why would the couples be getting married now? For all purposes, they should still be in college. If you wanted to included an earlier marriage, i think that you should have clarified why or that they finish college early or something...
Overall though, I thought you were a great writer. Try to explore your characters a little more next time. For example, Edward consistently viewed Bella as "second-best." There could have been more plot is you addressed this thought process and is conciliation that Bella was always his "first choice."
| Guest chapter 32 . 5/18
I very much enjoyed this story, even though there was much in it that bothered me or that I disagreed with. I liked the fact that I didn't reag know what to expect from it, except for the HEA ending. The gendered double standards and hypocrisy in sexual morality bothered me. I'm not sure why Edward was expected to keep himself for Bella just because she said she loved him if he didn't yet reciprocate those feelings. Can't honestly see how that betrays her. Also can't see how her guarding her virginity makes her in any way morally superior to the girls who explore their sexuality just like Edward and Jacob did. I'm reading these stories from the perspective as an older woman and from a different society/culture I guess, but it always seems a bit like feminism never we're still well and truly in the land of gender stereotypes. That said. I did enjoy the story and eventual resolution very much. I never really think the epilogue scare necessary though. I did cringe every time I read the grammatical errors though. It's jealousy not jealously, than not then, lose not loose etc. I think you're a good writer, but I think some editing would improve it further. Thank you for all of your hard work, time and ideas though.
| wardlyman chapter 30 . 4/29
I puked a little in my mouth, I'm so glad this is done, just awful. Cliche mess, iperfect example of my fucking problem with female writing.
Double standards - Edward can't do shit that bella does.
Hypocrisy - When bella gets angry at him for having female attention yet she has an dude showing her with attention, but when he, edward, called her out last chapter for it, boom in the end she acting like an brat, basically said 'yea I love another guy? So what, YOU can'ts have other female attention cause you hurt me' Is what that came off as to me.
Loving two different people in an romantic way- worst part about this is, it was just stupid, then their lines at the end just make you throw up.
Groveling- The sad thing about groveling in this story, it was only Edward doing it. The writer had jacob forgiven instantly whereas edward grovels for two chapters and had to make an grand gesture and basically say fucking his female admirers whereas Bella can say 'I love you' to jake, no jealousy at all.
No male perspective period - Self explanatory.
Superficial - Their in highschool.
| wardlyman chapter 29 . 4/29
Wtf? So stupid. And like I said, Edward didn't get to make an speech like Jacob and Bella accepted his apology instantly but edward? Nope, gotta grovel. Fucking disgusting.
| wardlyman chapter 28 . 4/29
I bet when Edward comes next chapter, it won't be this easy. I fucking bet it.
You, writer, need to learn how to properly gear up your stories, you should obviously add jacob to the summary cause you have you tongue so far up his ass, it hurts. JxB now extend to 80% of this fic.
| wardlyman chapter 27 . 4/29
Ugh. Of course. What he did was set her up with jacob, not use. But of course, that's wouldn't be dramatic enough.
I don't see how this is in the 1k club, on top of 75% of this fic not being JxB as you vehemently say it is, 50% is made out of edward groveling and cheap angst that makes you shake yourhead and double standards.
| wardlyman chapter 24 . 4/29
Hoesntly you're pissing me off, if I wanted to read jake and motherfucking bella, I'd go look that up, WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO READ AN WHOLE MOTHER F ING PAIRING THEN THE ONE THEY SIGNED ONFOR!
Like seriously. Bella is suppose to be his bestfrined since babies, not seeing that, you made edward an doormat, not seeing that, and this is JxB.
I can see how females will like this, warped fucking minds you have,.
| wardlyman chapter 23 . 4/29
And another fucking thing I realize, it's ok if bella doesn't notice edward's love and hurts him and can date others she said she despised, but fucking crossing the line if he does it.
| wardlyman chapter 22 . 4/29
The fucking faact the that bella's isn't even an friend if she let's jake talk about edward like that. Plus the fuckinng it's been JxB for chapters now, LIKE BITCH YOU PUT IT AS ExB, the only mother fucking words you are having edward say are I'm sorry, and that's fucking frustrating and pissing me off. Groveling and groveling and groveling and it's still getting no where.
| wardlyman chapter 19 . 4/29
This story is getting old quick. All the problem resignate from edward.
| nello25 chapter 31 . 11/1/2014
Great story, i enjoyed every bit of it. Edward redeemed himself beautifully and i loved how you used the eclipse quote(one of the best in the whole saga).
| ilyedwardandbell chapter 31 . 10/18/2014
best fan fiction ever!
| Ramyfan chapter 1 . 10/17/2014
I am glad i read this, it shows how stupid teenage boys can be
No flames or attack but i just found one thing horrible and that is how edward can be the worst guy and sleep with w***s while bella is the untouched pure virgin
I am sure you are a woman dont you think its unfair that the guy can have sex while a girl waits for him?
It's not a sin and she wouldnt have been unpure if she slept with jacob or someone else other than edward
Sometimes sex is just sex and a girl wont be "dirty" if she slept with two guys
Again no flames or an attack, its only my opinion and not a suggestion how to change anything
Not suggesting anything
| kokobun chapter 32 . 8/21/2014
good story, although Edward didn't suffer as much as he needed to after the way he treated Bella for so long...