Reviews for Girl of my Dreams
WolfspiritA chapter 4 . 7/15
This is truly amazing. You're writing has depth and I keep wanting to read more and more. I love it
Guest chapter 27 . 6/19
Honestly, I'm trying really hard here but I'm getting pretty upset. Your story is crazy sexist. How is Renee not mad here? Edwards admits that Jacob only wanted Bella for sex and yet he agreed to manipulate her into trusting him anyway, and all Renee can say is that they're boys? And immediately telling her daughter that her feelings are invalid and that she actually loves Edward? And telling her off for crying? Excuse me, she's in the hospital after being knocked out by her boyfriend and finding out her best friend basically agreed to sell her, she can cry if she wants to. Like, everyone in Bella's life has made the decision that she belongs with Edward and no one is even talking to her about how she actually feels anymore, they just agree to help Edward break up her relationship. Her relationship she keeps betraying by acting inappropriately with Edward. The virginity thing is also really awful. Edward has no claim to it and all that stuff he said about how much guy's pride themselves on taking girl's virginities was disgusting. There's also how unhealthy it is that Bella feels guilty to be rightfully mad at Edward and how she forgives him and acts like a total doormat. I just have to stop at this point. The premise is amazing, I'm sorry I couldn't stick with it.
Mandy chapter 32 . 3/24
Hey, I just wanted to tell you how much I loved this fanfic. I started reading it one day, and finished it the next, not stopping. I loved the way you created this as if Bella and Edward and everyone else in this book were normal. I also loved how you made Bella and Jake a couple, even though I ship Bella and Edward together. My favorite part about this book is how Edward had feelings for Bella , and didn't even know it. You are a great writer, and I encourage you to write more.
Guest chapter 9 . 12/4/2016
That was amazimg
Guest chapter 19 . 11/27/2016
"and I know I'd never be able to handle knowing she had given him the most important thing a girl can give".

I'm sorry, but this is such a backwards misogynistic concept. The most important thing a woman can give a man is her virginity? How about her love, her friendship, her respect, or her time? Or if you want to be traditional, how about marriage and a family? Not to mention you created a story in which Edward drunkenly loses his virginity at a party with a girl he doesn't value or respect and then precedes to have sex with her friend two days later.
So do you value virginity or do you not? Or is it only okay for men to have loose sex?

The more I read this, the more it seems like the brainchild of a particularly immature 14 year old. I tried to make it to the end, because I hate starting something and not finishing, but I really don't think I can.
Guest chapter 18 . 11/27/2016
It's mesmerized, not memorized.
Guest chapter 15 . 11/27/2016
Some questions I have from the reading so far.
1. Why can't Bella afford to buy herself a copy of Wuthering Heights? A new book is usually not more than $20, and a used book can be extremely cheap, maybe $3 or $4.
2. Why doesn't Lauren know who Edward is when he sends her the email, when she apparently had a crush on him when they were thirteen?
3. Why are there so many parties on school nights?
4. Why are Jacob's eyes blue in this story? He's supposed to be Native American.
Guest chapter 5 . 11/27/2016
I'll never understand these stories where Bella or Edward, or both Bella and Edward, somehow don't realize they're in love with each other when they're so affectionate with one another. Trust me, if a man walked up behind me, wrapped his arms around me, and kissed me tenderly on my cheek, I would not think his intentions were friendly, no matter how long I had known him. That's a very intimate gesture.
I think there are ways you can show that Edward might be unconsciously attracted to Bella without making it that obvious.
Also why is Edward such an unlikeable character? He tells Bella she looks sick without makeup on, he doesn't see what another guy could possibly see in her, he thinks her charity work is dorky, etc. He's pretty much a huge, shallow asshole.
Guest chapter 31 . 11/15/2016
Wow what a shitty epi
Guest chapter 29 . 11/15/2016
Wtf?! Bellas a cunt! Making edward "prove himself" when he doesnt need to for nothing! That dirty skunk of a bitch
Guest chapter 28 . 11/15/2016
Ugh wtf when he used you for sex you still run to him and forgive him. Yet your bestfriend you dont. Bitch
Guest chapter 25 . 11/15/2016
I laughed so smugly when charlie told him to go away
Guest chapter 24 . 11/15/2016
Ew when she said about kids i nearly gagged and cried at the sams time
Guest chapter 24 . 11/15/2016
Poor edward
Guest chapter 22 . 11/15/2016
Jacobs a dick
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