Reviews for The Red Line |
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![]() ![]() It's WHOA, not WOAH. Look it up if you don't believe me. |
![]() ![]() The man lost a leg he is scared trying to pretend to be tough does not either one of them especially Bella the one going to school to be a therapist think that Charlie is taking loosing a leg a little to well. You are making Charlie out to emotionless about his leg really I don't think anyone is this ok about loosing a leg I mean Really. |
![]() ![]() Wow I am glad Bella such a bitch that she is ok with Charlie loosing a leg but it not like Bella ever cared for Charlie anyway. Poor Charlie needs a daughter who actually loves him and not a selfish bitch |
![]() ![]() ![]() Woww...such an amazing story...although I admit I had to cut out the nasty chapters when Edward came back after the two weeks...sorry this was just too much of the sadistic content ...Hannibal Lecter meets the Sadist Homosexual Rapist...erm no thank you..but apart from that I will revisit the other chapters to really take it ALL in...first time reading might have been a bit breathless;-))) |
![]() ![]() ![]() L...COME BACK AND FINISH THIS STORY. PLEASE UPDATE |
![]() ![]() ![]() I don't know if you still check your reviews on this given how long ago it was posted, but I HAD to review this - pretty sure this is the first story I've reviewed! I'm now on my second read through of The Red Line and the sequel; I had to go back and reread immediately after my first read to appreciate the subtleties of the story given the later revelations! Not going to lie, in both parts I felt sick to my stomach and would take a break to brain bleach with some fluffy fics instead, but the fact that your writing caused both revulsion, but also times where I couldn't contain my giggles, is truly the sign of a very talented storyteller. I honestly think that you could get this published with some adjustments and editing, but I believe you mentioned in an A/N that you don't particularly want to publish. Either way, I sincerely hope you will share more of your incredible imagination and gift for weaving an intriguing tale - it was a rough journey, but WHAT an eye opening one! I'm sure that for some people the more disturbing sections, mostly in the sequel for me personally, would be too hard to get through. However, as I'm sure you are well aware, these situations DO happen, and worse, when it comes to human trafficking. It's truly appalling, but sadly it's a reality for some people, I'm sure that you have alerted your readers to the fact that this can and does happen in the world and can happen to anyone. I have never been so affected by a fic that I find myself thinking about it days after finishing, but this one is just staggering in the impact it provides for the brave readers able to get through it. YOU ARE AMAZING! P.S - the trailer on YouTube that Biel made is also incredible, I'm not surprised in the least that you inspired it with your writing. You've certainly inspired me to attempt writing fanfic again; I am definitely not capable of writing something as visceral and gritty, with a side order of love, friendship, loyalty and wicked humour and vindication as you have! Honestly, this was awesome in the true sense of the word. |
![]() ![]() "First, Edward was a prostitute" is the greatest execution of a canon reference in an AU or fanfic of all time, E |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow! Really enjoyed reading this story - for shock value alone! Will have to put this on my favs list to come back and read again in a few years! :) |
![]() ![]() I don't hate Charlie here, I love him, he's told bella the right thing to do. And he is mature, he knows what's right and what's wrong. I completely agree with him here. Even though I think Edward and Bella's love is pure and true, I think Charlie maybe right about Edward falling in love with bella just because she was the first one to support, care and be gentle with him because he's never had this before for a long time and now suddenly he is treated well, he will start to like the person who does that. And as for bella she must understand that Edward needs time to heal completely so that he can fall in love for real one day with bella or anyone. And also bella can't just fall in love like this, if she wants to become a real psychologist she has to learn to keep her distance from people a little otherwise she'll be falling in love with everyone of her patients if they are good looking, sweet and sad due to their life. Though I must say it is very nicely written and all different point of views have been captured as well as the fact it's more realistic than other fanfics. Keep Writing! |
![]() ![]() It's all so free and happy here, I'm scared to read further because of this, I feel that this thing is only temporary. But you really write well and so far it's very good even with all the pain and anguish, Keep writing! |
![]() ![]() I literally had to stop reading for a few minutes to compose myself and stop blushing like anything, It was so damn embarrassing that bella forgot to dress before leaving. |
![]() ![]() I find this really interesting... |
![]() ![]() ![]() after several years I read you again, I really like your story ! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow. That was quite the ride. It was sad and exciting, and everything in between. I really enjoyed this. Your are an excellent writer. Thank you :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hi! I was wondering whether or not to leave a comment, considering he's an old fanfic, and thinking that maybe you don't try it anymore. But I'll quit anyway. I haven't finished reading, so my opinion might change towards the end of this, which I doubt, but for now I'm delighted with it. I don't understand how some can criticize him so harshly. There are some who talk about incongruities (even the one I talk about homophobia. Friends, the fact that a man does not like men in a sexual way, and being penetrated, that does not make him homophobic. You have to learn to read and interpret words) in As for the incongruities, although they exist and are there to remind us that we are reading a fanfiction, not a published book, where there were editors working on said book, to polish and improve it. So despite its flaws, it's an incredible story. It is harsh, crude, realistic, and some might say even exaggerated. But do we know what the reality of those who work in prostitution is? The logic is that most do it forced by circumstances and once inside it is a dark world. Just how you portray it. I'm going to keep reading and we'll see where this is going. And excuse my terrible English, I'm using a translator. |