|Reviews for The Red Line|
| jk chapter 40 . 5/5
that's tanwhores kid? he had a baby with that sperm dumpster? I guess its fitting since hes one of the nastiest whores too.
| jk chapter 29 . 5/5
like he has any fucking right daydreaming about bella when he just let Victoria suck his dick...what a nasty piece of shit Edward is...is bella was smart she would fucking RUN away from this man.
| jk chapter 9 . 5/5
well Edward fucks everyone else he might as well LOVE tanwhore too.
I love that bella is cool with Edward fucking someone else right before her and endangering her health...stds are very real bella and he could have just gave you a incurable disease...but who cares right? Edward was right when he said that he is so dirty that he will NEVER be clean...Hes so USED UP...nasty.
| jk chapter 1 . 5/5
I'm confused, I thought he was a stripper...but its actually a fucking WHORE HOUSE? and this is the Edward you thought was good for bella? wow, your fucking stupid...no one wants used the fuck up Edward...there was nothing sexy about that first chapter...and having him rubbing his dick all over rose and alice? bitch please
| Mtg526 chapter 40 . 5/6
I really enjoyed this story! It's definitely a different plot than I've read before, but I found myself fascinated by the plot and your storytelling. Edward has definitely had it rough and I'm glad Bella was able to reach him...well, reach each other really. Thanks for this labor of love. I am starting the sequel right away!
| Guest chapter 40 . 4/1
Ok, I suck with it, and read it all. You have some major continuity issues. Did Bella's Mom, Renee, leave when B was 3, or traveling around with Phil kinda out of the picture... or Did they lose her to breast cancer when B was 10?
Carlisle telling B&E about how he was with Tanya... after taking her to the hotel, having sex... then he was afraid she would come back and blackmail him, maybe pregnant? If he couldn't get Esme pregnant, and had been tested ... why would be be "worried" Tanya could be? Hmmm, don't think so.
Lots of issues with Bella and Edward playing out the rape scene... with Edward having been taken by Raven over and over against his will... and damn it, he NEVER fought back? Even against Kevin (refuse to address him as sir, how pathetic)... no, no man would just take it... sorry, not buying it for a second.
Also, the marathon sex after getting out of the hospital for being SHOT, and losing that much blood he needed a transfusion... girl, get real please! He would need serious rest to build him back up, stamina wise.
And Edward, ying and yang-ing back and worth, being STRONG and Bella made him see himself as real.. and then Katie, Katie made him feel real. Well, yeah I get that as a human, he could feel both. But the constant back and forth... yikes, and in the head rants B and E would go on... I just skipped reading those... annoying as hell.
And the time with Raven, the needle play - in the penis. Seriously? And then he is ok to fuck in the next scene? NO. Don't think so sweetie... he would need some serious down time to heal after that.
Now, I said all that - to say that I liked the premise of this story. Edward was broken down, and Bella saw the good in him. He endured hell... some of that shit was straight hard to read... I can't imagine how it was to write it... You've got a good outline, but a lot of the bad needs to be cut away. IMHO yeah.
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/4
Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/4
I absolutely love the story. It's so amazing! great job!
| MyladyNancy chapter 9 . 2/28
I loved this quiet litlle night.
| Czar on Lyfe Conflicts chapter 1 . 2/20
| Guest chapter 38 . 2/13
Charlie's a cunt and Bellas a bitch!
| Guest chapter 36 . 2/12
AND WHAT HAS SHE DECIDED?!
| Guest chapter 35 . 2/12
I hate Bella even more for not fighting back for Edward! All that crap Charlie said about Edward! And she just stands there like it's true! He knows nothing about true love! If you loved him you will come home and patch him up and you won't have to 'deal with it' because you love him and it won't feel like dealing because you love him!
| Guest chapter 31 . 2/12
Ah fuck cock suckers
| Guest chapter 30 . 2/12
Wow she's being a stupid bitch again. She didn't even ask Charlie about James! And why would you trust him!