|Reviews for The Red Line|
| Twilight HATER chapter 1 . 6/25
no idia what your tlaking about, I stood up wanting to b a whore
i coldnt read the next 350,000 words cos of the inaccurasy, but probs is absolutely AMZING!
| Ashlie Christine chapter 40 . 6/1
Let me start by first saying you have a beautifull story on your hands. Its not too often I find those anymore. Now the only issues I had were plot holes. You wrote this long ago I see, and maby your writing style has improved since then so Ill have to check out your other stories. Anyways, plot issues. You mention many times that Bellas mom is with Phil, even in the hospital part when she decides if she should call them, then later on you say she died when Bella was young. Another thing, James and Raven were locked in cages in the basement of Fire when Bella set the fire and then they were ok and magically out. The whole needle in the penis thing...yea...noo way would Edward have handled anymore sex after that. Maby study BDSM a little more if you were to rewrite this. Make sure to write in the description that thats more of what the story is about and not really striperish imo. You kind of lost me a little towards the end but I stuck with it. My last thing, while I love epic romance, this story took place in three weeks. I feel if you had extended the time a little longer, like maby 3 months, it would be a little more realistic. Gives you time to progress the characters emotions a little better. In all I liked the story! The plot was intresting and the chapters flew well! Great job!
| Guest chapter 21 . 5/29
what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck
| samiam8804 chapter 40 . 5/29
I have read ALOT of fanfiction, this is probably the best! And I truly love how you didn’t cut it off after they escaped fire! That is what would have happened in a movie! They always cheat us! This was so good! I am just sad for you that this is fanfictin! Sooooo much better than all the published crap! You should have made TINA for this!
| OnlyRobPatti chapter 40 . 5/23
The BEST !
| brookemannnnn chapter 27 . 4/4
I really liked this story but you lost me at chapter 2729 ish. I grew attached to the damaged characters and wanted to see the outcome of it all but I can’t even tell if those chapters were written by the same person. Bella’s POV was entirely not her and not at all the same tone from Bella POV in previous chapters. It lacked a lot and then I read that James was Victoria’s brother and I just gave up. Too much going on. I really enjoyed their two weeks together and seeing how they developed. I even liked the vampire chapter, it was a major curve ball but honestly so funny and well appreciated, I’m glad you did keep it human. I felt they overlooked the possibility of Victoria’s family wanting to revenge her when they were plotting with Charlie but I still saw the potential. Could have been a great story had the tone remained continuous beyond the first half.
| MegansHumor chapter 2 . 3/15
Who the hell pays 20,000 dollars for a school project?!
| OnlyRobPatti chapter 1 . 11/28/2017
Eres el mejor !
Un 10 para esta historia
| Only robpatti chapter 40 . 9/1/2017
| Only robpatti chapter 25 . 8/31/2017
| Guest chapter 6 . 8/12/2017
Have you read "A May to December Romance"? Carlisle wasn't just a BASTARD, he was a Criminal Bastard. It is one of my top 5 faves.
| Rosalinda chapter 1 . 7/1/2017
Jk I do not know why you comment if you do not like the story and apparently you read it complete that you are inpocrita.
| jk chapter 40 . 5/5/2017
that's tanwhores kid? he had a baby with that sperm dumpster? I guess its fitting since hes one of the nastiest whores too.
| jk chapter 29 . 5/5/2017
like he has any fucking right daydreaming about bella when he just let Victoria suck his dick...what a nasty piece of shit Edward is...is bella was smart she would fucking RUN away from this man.
| jk chapter 9 . 5/5/2017
well Edward fucks everyone else he might as well LOVE tanwhore too.
I love that bella is cool with Edward fucking someone else right before her and endangering her health...stds are very real bella and he could have just gave you a incurable disease...but who cares right? Edward was right when he said that he is so dirty that he will NEVER be clean...Hes so USED UP...nasty.