Reviews for The Red Line
gallantcorkscrews chapter 7 . 2/1/2009
I love that Bella has a darker side. It's hard to say "rape fantasy" and not look weird, but this is handled in an awesome way! People's sexualities are complex, and it makes sense that she would have that darker nature- she is seeking out strippers, lol. I think its awesome. And should be explored in a tasteful manner.

I am worried about Edward. He reminds me of a little boy- with the Sponge Bob, how he says "I will save thee!" when Bella is locked in the bathroom. He just plays with her like a little kid, trying to get attention from his mom. He's a sexual man-beast, but he's also a scared little kid.

Sometimes, Edward's dialogue is very feminine. He "purrs" alot- the "purrs" are to show that he has a sexy voice, but it's used so much, I imagine he has the stereotypical gay man's lisp- pardon the crass characterization. Some of the things he says (like "yay") aren't very masculine. Like, he's a kid frozen in a man's body, wanting to be loved- so he's not going to say hardcore, manly-man stuff. He's playful and kind. But sometimes I feel like I'm reading a girl's lines.

I can't wait to see Edward get possessive over Bella. It broke my heart when he said "promise me you'll never fall in love with me". I have a feeling that might bite him in the ass later on. I always adore your/Bella's observations on his low self esteem, how he has this job to repulse woman... all very astute. It made me think about why people act and love the way do. Edward is a fascinating character. Hot story, good story. Gah.
dominiqueangelica chapter 7 . 2/1/2009
EdwardlovesBella chapter 7 . 2/1/2009
So awesome! Edward is falling in love with Bella and Bella is already head over heals. I love Edward and im so sad that he's had such a crappy life..i hope Bella makes it better for him
piratehannelore chapter 7 . 2/1/2009
I love it! Its so sweet, and how both of them hid their fortunes from the other. Awe, how sweet. lol. :D
Mediana chapter 3 . 2/1/2009
I have no idea where you're going with this story :) but NO, no play time for Rosalie and Alice
lvk1978 chapter 1 . 2/1/2009
Absolutely brilliant! This is faboo! I can't wait to get caught up with this one! Only one minor little quibble -


Yeah Yeah

as in "She loves you yeah, yeah, yeah" and yeah, that is a Beatles song and yeah, I'm incredibly old!

Nicely done! I almost feel like getting into my soccer mom mini van and finding a Vampire Edward to call my very own!
AHowOSU7 chapter 7 . 2/1/2009
I love it.

This chapter was realy good. I can't help yelling at my screen at times though. Its a good thing though, I mean i know what I want to happen, but its just obviously going to take long, and thats understandable. Bah, i want to know about this rx of Edward's, what happened to her? I mean was she sick or something... does he blame himself? Could he possibly still be in love with her. I thought you might be implying that, but i could be crazy. Ahh, i am just wondering what is going to happen. I just want you to write more. I think i read these chapters too fast.
World of Peace chapter 2 . 2/1/2009
This was a great chapter! I love this story! keep up the amazing work!
Eric'sBondedSince76 chapter 2 . 2/1/2009
yeah, I had a feeling he didn't really believe her about the thesis. I guess he'll be in for a shock when she proves to him she's serious about it.

I'll admit it's a little strange to read a story where Edward is screwing everyone...especially Victoria. I guess that creeps me out a bit. I don't trust her here though. She seemed so disappointed with Bella's background check. I think she uses the information she finds on people to blackmail them for more money. I could be wrong about it, but her reaction just seemed a bit fishy.

It's hard to believe that someone would be comfortable with that lifestyle. I'd be scared and peeing my pants if I was backed up against a wall being attacked and no one there to rescue me. I was glad that Bella and the girls jumped in to save him.

I'm also curious how this story will turn out. Will he just spend his two weeks with Bella and then go back to life as he knew it or will things change for him. I'm kinda keeping my fingers crossed that things will change and he won't go back to that lifestyle. Also, if I were Bella, I don't know how comfortable I'd be with a guy knowing that he's been with so many other women, I don't care how clean he is. It sorta made me cringe that he just had his lips on Victoria and her nether regions and then turns around and kisses Bella an hour later. Maybe I'm just a prude, but I wouldn't want to taste another woman on a guy who's with me. Oh well, it's just a story anyway. I'm still fascinated with it.
Clancy67 chapter 7 . 2/1/2009
I am running out of adjectives to describe how much I like this story, how sad it makes me, how much it makes me laugh and how I hope that somehow there's a happily ever after.

I'm really moved beyond words and yet enjoying the hell out of it too. Can't wait to read more.
sounds of music chapter 7 . 2/1/2009
I LOVE THIS CHAPTER! I laughed so hard at the fact that Edward didn't stop his account of the bachorlette party, even when the waitress was standing in front of them. And I loved their little analysis of each other! Edward's rather blunt question about Bella's oral experience nearly made ME spit out the water I was drinking at the time, and it was simply perfect! Then, you almost brought me to tears when Edward asked Bella not to fall in love with him. It was so sad. And I loved the fortune cookies! So, I basically loved everything about this chapter. Keep up the good word, this story is fantastic!
solarstar17 chapter 7 . 2/1/2009
I LOVE THIS STORY! kind of like Pretty Woman when he told her not to fall in love with him! Keep Going
Clancy67 chapter 6 . 2/1/2009
I definitely think that Edward's 3pm phone call has to do with the girl he loved. If she's still alive, there's something wrong with her that his parents would not give him the money to help heal. So he checks in on her everyday, although she might not be conscious of who he is anymore.

I love Edward's game with Bella on the train. He really knows how to get Bella going, doesn't he? Funny but I don't like what he does with the other women nearly as sexy, can't quite shake the feeling that its so wrong for him to allow himself to be treated like that. But with Bella it seems different.
Kaitlin13 chapter 7 . 2/1/2009
This is a really good chapter. I thought some parts were funny. I hope they both find the others fortune, read it, and don't get mad for the other reading it. Can't wait to read more soon.
Little Miss Whitlock chapter 7 . 2/1/2009
oh man those cookies were rigged! and *points to brain* i think i might be on to those phone calls a little bit more now...

you're a sneaky girl and i love this story!
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