|Reviews for Comeuppance|
| dazzledtina chapter 3 . 10/26/2009
Now that is some angry/angsty sex. I liked this line, so angry
"Plunging, perched on the edge of madness. Mother-fucking fucking was the only thing keeping me. Keeping me…alive."
This one too: My own reflection called to me from the mirror perched on Zaf’s sleek modern dresser. A washed-out desolate man looked back at me. Eyes leeched of color. Grim mouth devoid of feeling. Hair standing on end, a ludicrous young Einstein. I could never claim to be a genius. I’d quite possibly just fucked the last bit of love out of my life with Bella.
I liked this chapter, I feel that what he did was justified, and now he kind of regrets it? well I AM glad he punched the dog.
Oh, and it is my mission to read ALL your stories, so you might get sick of seeing my reviews.I am going to try to improve my vocabulary and my new word for tomorrow will be Portentous. ;)
| slobber-monkey chapter 3 . 10/26/2009
"Not my love. Not my life. Not my death. Not my wife. Just a fuck."- How can a statement like this break my heart so completely?
"And after it all, just wanting to get back to Bella. And hating her. And not hating. And pure misery…wondering if I had caused her to turn to another man; if I was so wrapped up in my own insular world that I had missed all the warning signs"- He still loves her and he's so hurt and desperate (
Not really gonna comment on E and Zaf, as much as I hated B with J, E with anyone else KILLS ME!
"But she was mine. I was hers. I no longer cared that she’d done the unthinkable. Almost. Spread her legs, unveiled her breasts, and lifted her body to another. Just once. Oh God, I hoped! Just. Once" He is such a beautiful soul.
Seriously I'm three chapters in and still crying!
| slobber-monkey chapter 2 . 10/26/2009
...I think that broke me...
He wanted to ask for children, he's always loved her, given as much as she would allow him to give, still craved and desired her, WANTED HER TO HAVE HIS CHILDREN!
| slobber-monkey chapter 1 . 10/26/2009
I'll give you this, Jake is hott, but WTF Bella WTF!
| dazzledtina chapter 2 . 10/25/2009
I feel the same way, and this sentence is sad;
To think. To think briefly, unbidden. To realize that I had been on the verge of asking her to bear my child! I felt disemboweled, unseated! Uprooted! We could never have a baby, not with this, not with Jake, Jake not Jack, Jake that had been inside of…oh fucking GOD!...inside of MY Bella!
your words, spectacular, I feel like i learned something after reading one of your stories, especialy DC,;)
And I hope his feet land right on Jakes throat
| dazzledtina chapter 1 . 10/25/2009
I love your way with words, excellence.
| readerkitty chapter 7 . 10/21/2009
I think you are right about the summary scaring people away. It was not nearly as frightening as the description. So true that we sometimes idealize people (lovers in particular) so much that we remove ourselves from them. Sometimes painful events can heal and make stronger and more real. I really enjoyed this. Thank you.
P.S I am glad you gave Jake his resolution. It would not have been fair for Jake to remain damaged and alone, drafted into Bella's downfall as he was.
| readerkitty chapter 4 . 10/21/2009
I loved that neither of them said a word.
| readerkitty chapter 2 . 10/21/2009
| ReluctantRomantic chapter 7 . 10/13/2009
Oh, I'm so glad that I took this risk. This was seriously a good read. I love how you made it deep enough to be plausible. I definitely got the sense that their marriage was stronger after the trauma, much like a bone that is broken is stronger where it has mended.
Probably unlike most others, I also loved all your lemons, even those with Jake and Zaf. For one thing, they were so well-written. But this last pregnant love-making scene was wondrous. I'm so impressed that you knew about colostrum!
| foreverandnevr chapter 1 . 10/1/2009
this is just amazing, these fictionator people sure as hell know what they r talkng about.
| TwifanUK chapter 7 . 9/21/2009
That was amazing. Powerful, edgy and heartfelt all at the same time. The depth of feeling you managed to convery without much dialogue was outstanding.
| pavlovsbell11 chapter 2 . 9/17/2009
What are you doing to these two?:( I gotta admit, that first chapter was hot as fuck (the longest lemon I've ever read, I dare say), but poor Edward.. And the Edbelbaby! *sniffles* Edward's blood-tendencies were scary though, what she did wasn't right, but that doesn't make violent tendencies okay.. Anyway, can't wait to read the rest.:)
| Michelle M. Marie chapter 7 . 9/13/2009
thank you so much for this chapter. it honestly make this story, which is filled with adultery, beautiful. well written, each character wore their emotions on their sleeves for us all to feel. thank you so much for sharing your story with us!
| Michelle M. Marie chapter 6 . 9/13/2009
yay for jake! thank you for that...glad jake found his "may" :)