|Reviews for Reversal of Fortunes|
| R.T.Stephens chapter 2 . 6/16/2009
Seriously, you don't know how refreshing it is to read a story that captures the spirit of the Ranma series but still develops the characters in believable ways. The interactions between Ukyo and Shampoo were tense but very fun. It's very amusing how they keep getting deeper and deeper into trouble but, in that typical Takahashi way, they keep pushing on, unwilling to give up. I'm looking forward to how these two deal with each other now that they have this agreement between them.
Very nice flow to the fights and excellent that you have a good grasp on everyone's strengths and weaknesses. I know how tempting it is to write your characters kicking all types of butt however, having them struggle earns a more realistic feel to the story and makes the reader guess how the end will turn out.
Hope you stay interested! I certainly will!
| Nysk chapter 2 . 6/16/2009
Good second chapter.
Nice action and flow to the story.
I look forward to seeing how the two do working together.
| Deyinel chapter 1 . 5/10/2009
Good start, and it promises to get even more interesting! Update soon!
| Ganheim chapter 1 . 4/14/2009
“Ran-ma, you idiot!”
[Thank you a thousand times for not using unnecessary Japanese]
Nabiki sarcastically snipped as she sipped her tea.
[Not ‘in between sips’?]
and had no doubt been slaughtering some bricks in the dojo.
[I’m a little curious as to why she’s so angry, because although she’s both a worrier and jealous, she’s typically not _this_ bad unless she’s seen something to instigate progressive jealousy, like seeing him walk off with Ukyo. As that’s not the case, I’m at a loss as to why she’s quite this mad. I can’t recall exactly why he’s an hour late if he’s not at Ukyo’s, so that’s another thing to ponder]
“”Stupid tomboy taking
[Extraneous quote mark]
The pervert is headed right towards the Nekohanten
[She also doesn’t often care where he heads when she sends him Air Akane, so her getting mad at this doesn’t seem too likely]
weathered thumb over the surface of a jade
“What is is?”
[well-educated? Okay, that doesn't seem great either, but ‘decent’ doesn’t quite seem to fit]
have it directed him him.
It was too much to bare.
if she were to challenge her rival over some feeling of obligation.
[Dunno, he might appreciate it if Shampoo challenged Akane in order to stop her from beating Ranma. The issue with their default challenge is because it’s to take the engagement, which still leaves him with a feeling of having his life-decisions taken out of his hands and he hates that]
wearing a bright orange bandanna...
[But Ryouga’s is yellow]
Ranma griped. “Look, I'm sorry for this mornin'.
[Ranma’s acting remarkably neutral for the Reversal Jewel. I suppose this works, I’d have just expected either a lot happier or far more confrontational. Your theory of him feeling neutrally to her (romantically speaking) makes a lot of sense, I guess I was expecting something more extreme like in canon. That and it’s rare for Ranma to apologize]
Soun grunted when a paper fan
[Akane doesn’t tend to strike Soun. Doesn’t she generally glare and yell until he changes his mind?]
towards someplace that might
[I think ‘a place’ might fit better than ‘someplace’]
squarely in Miss Kuonji hands.
Ranma had lost his strenght,
You're always trying to drug him, Shampoo!
[Although she is under anxiety, which explains why she might say something that isn’t correct, Shampoo doesn’t regularly try to drug him (that’s more Kodachi). The only time I can think of was with the mushrooms]
His father had suffered a lot during the years leading up to the War and afterwards.
[Qinghai province is in the south-west corner of China, Japan even at the height of their invasion, never came within a hundred kilometers. Unless the father was from one of the occupied eastern regions, he probably wouldn’t have learned to dislike the Japanese for any reason other than the xenophobia common in Eastern societies. Granted, it’s quite possible that he could have emigrated there following the war or the communist takeover (a lot of people were slaughtered when the nationalists were driven out of power, besides during the civil war), but Qinghai is a fairly poor region and unless trying to ‘get away from the past’ it’s not extremely likely that her grandfather would go there (little economic incentive)]
Scooping the idiot up,
[As this narrative is roughly from Cologne’s perspective, I feel it is important to note that she harbors no (or little) ill feelings toward him. Most people know Ryouga’s not the brightest bulb in the bunch, but he’s also not nearly as dim as others like Mousse or Tatewaki (who themselves can still display cunning on occasion)]
She couldn't imagine Shampoo doing anything but mucking up a kitchen.
[More than once before this point in the series, Ukyo and Shampoo have competed with cooking, they both know the other knows how to cook and handle themselves in a kitchen. She might be surprised at just how well Shampoo does in a proper kitchen (I don’t believe that she’s ever seen Shampoo at work in the Tendo home, which she’s done once or twice, or at any other kitchen)]
From the pictures, it looked like she was pretty popular back home.
[Or it could’ve been a festival, or a party the likes of which I am familiar with from my studies of Near Eastern cultures (where pretty much everybody in the village is invited by default), but also have showing east and west. It’s not extremely clear, but the implication I got from the anime (and more the manga, which shows Shampoo’s room a couple times and it’s fairly spartan) is that Shampoo had little to leave behind at her home village – part of that was her dedication to martial arts, and Mousse, pushing away a lot of the others of her generation and therefore the vast majority of potential friends]
What if that was how Amazon men were expected to behave?
[Quoth DB Sommer: “We give up that silly stuff long ago. We get along with mens well now. Womens is still in charge, but we no subjugate anymore. Is just bad press we still get.” I’m pretty sure men aren’t subjugated second-class citizens among the amazons (Mousse seems far too well-off and strong for that), but despite the fact that this is ‘relative to Ukyo’s point of view’ it’s still something I wouldn’t have expected. Maybe it’s just plain unexpected, I never really thought much about what Ukyo pondered on her rival’s culture]
Not that there was much else to do in the small room.
[Shampoo does have some sort of game console, she’s seen sitting in front of the TV with a controller at least once in the manga. Not that Ukyo would be likely to say ‘hey, let me mess around with your stuff’]
Ukyo doubted it would be something like Christianity.
[Prior to the spread of crucifixion from cultures near the Persian Empire (to the west by the Romans, and the east by the Mongolians), an equilateral cross existed in several Eurasian cultures as a symbol of things from power to clarity of spiritual vision]
Other than somehow managing getting stuck inside the refrigerator, that is.
[That just seems more weird than funny to me. He’s not quite _this_ bad, unless the scene calls for parody-level humour]
he somehow got it onto son-in-law.”
[The thing that confuses me is that he’s being civil to Akane. There’s a lot of ‘wiggle room’ because Akane hasn’t done anything to provoke him if he is uninhibited, but he does care about her at least a little (exactly how and to what degree I don’t know, part of it might be that ‘underdog complex’, which isn’t anything romantic). Because of that, I’m slightly confused so far at how civil he’s being to the Tendos, and your question with Cologne gives you plenty of leeway]
if they were to to as a team
[_go_ as a team?]
I’d seen the Reverse Jewel used for a faintly similar plot seed, but you’ve quickly gone a different direction from the other fic. Your narrative and characterization (besides some minor disagreements with tertiary characters) is solid, and you’ve left off on an excellent point: not too sharp of a cliffhanger, but with plenty of questions left to pull the audience into the next chapter. I suppose my biggest problem is...there is no next chapter yet. I can only hope you continue, because using this relatively small episode to do a lot of character-diving is resulting in a _very_ interesting story, and it would be a shame to see promise like this not come to the fruition of a complete story.
| loaned chapter 1 . 3/8/2009
Cool, keep up the good work.
| fallenmad chapter 1 . 2/7/2009
Story got me interested. The dress and necklace did, specifically. And I liked it! Ukyo and Shampoo on equal grounds. Haha
| Lightspire chapter 1 . 2/4/2009
I never read the first, or if I do, I certainly don't remember it. I like how you have incorporated Shampoo's father, seeing as how he was in the early manga, but seems to just disappear later on. I also like how you are incorporating a bit of history in the story, and the misgivings the characters have towards Japan because of it. It looks like the reversal jewel is just an excuse to tell a deeper story. I like that. Treating a singular episode's trinket as the catalyst for deeper character interaction and personal history is something I don't think I've really seen like this before. I like how you twist what Ranma says. At the Seifuku forum, they seemed confused by ranma's actions. I like how he basically says "he would rather eat her cooking than theirs." This shows that he doesn't have any feelings towards Akane one way or the other. Anyway, the fic looks interesting, and I look forward to more!
| Anon42 chapter 1 . 2/2/2009
I found this very interesting the first time I read it, and if possible, I enjoyed it even more this time. I can only hope we'll get to see where this goes from here.
Keep up the good work!
| Hi chapter 1 . 1/31/2009
You really changed it. I'm not sure about this new version. Can you please at least put up a link to the old version. It's not that I dislike this new version, it's just the old version was really great in my opinion.
| Wulfenbach chapter 1 . 1/30/2009
rewrite! nicely done though
| Nysk chapter 1 . 1/29/2009
Interesting start... but is there something more going on with the jewel than what is shown?
If so, what is it?
| Murai chapter 1 . 1/29/2009
A rewrite. Hmm, looks better than the original. I'd have to agree with Escoger's idea, Ranma deserves someone who doesn't think he's a pervert 24/7, or can call toxic waste dinner.
| Escoger chapter 1 . 1/28/2009
Ooh! This looks like its even better than the original! And I loved that one! Ideally, if you can manage it, I would love it if it ended up Ranma/Shampoo/Ukyo and Ryoga/Akane; preferably after a long hard struggle between Ukyo and Shampoo of course!
PLEASE! DO! CONTINUE!
| Jovianokami chapter 1 . 1/28/2009
Oh wow that good start. I can't wait to see what going to happen next.
| Azrael 8P chapter 1 . 1/28/2009
Yay! Boo Akane! Anyway, I like how the story is developing so far. Keep up the good work. :)