|Reviews for Am I Pretty?|
| arcanasage chapter 2 . 12/14/2013
This is an interesting story, I hope that you come back to it so I can see where it goes from here.
| Lonesome-Writer chapter 2 . 4/1/2013
please continue this story. I really like this kind of start.
| Slie Amos chapter 2 . 1/1/2012
I find this AU concept interesting (and for those of you saying it is wrong to do this and try to have cannon play it, remember it is an AU after all anything might happen). I would like to see what happens next so please update sometime soon...
As to errors in the story I really did not see any spelling or grammar errors so I am good there, and all the character interactions are based off the changes in Ranma from the head injury received from Genma-Panda at the start, and as Genma-Panda is in the Sapparo(sp?) zoo now with only cold water and cages locked from the outside it may take a while for him to return...
| MikeTn1 chapter 2 . 9/14/2011
The story looks real good so far. It is a VERY plausible alternate to the canon story of Ranmas first few ay with the Tendos.
| Spokavriel chapter 1 . 7/28/2011
I'm sorry. But your story tries way too hard to play out per cannon. You even have the characters going out of their way rationalizing to eachother reasons to force cannon situations. If you ever give this another shot it might be better to get in mind how the characters are and go with that instead of trying to make extra hours in the day so they can get back to forcing cannon to happen.
After all why in the world would anyone want to spar with someone that they know already has a concussion? Oh you're nice, I'd like to be friends with you, so come on and let me potentially kill you by not letting your head heal. WHAT?
| tuatara chapter 2 . 10/13/2010
I'm loving this story, though I'm not too optimistic that it'll be continued. Alas! This is a lot of fun. Ranma's skewed personality here is endlessly entertaining. Despite her lack of formal education, she comes across as a bright, confident, sophisticated girl who happens to turn into a boy. But woe to all when the truth is revealed! It was really inspired (and adorable) to have Ryoga run into Akari so early, as it keeps him out of Nerima for the time being. So with Genma in the zoo, Ryoga with Akari, and Nodoka at home, that only leaves Ukyo and Shampoo to break the illusion. (And I assume you had plans for them too.)
The only thing I probably would have done differently is have Ranma attend Furinkan as a girl. Two reasons: First, Akane asking Ranma to masquerade as her fiance is one thing. But asking her to spend most of her time as a male is just a ridiculously unfair request. (For example, how's Ranma going to feel about the boys' locker room?) Second, it leads to a scenario that's just too close to canon to be that exciting. Consider this alternative: Ranma shows up as a boy, says he's Akane's fiance, kicks Kuno's butt, and then disappears. Ranma could then attend as a girl, which would lead to a considerably different storyline - i.e. Tatewaki and Kodachi obsessing over the mysterious Pigtailed Boy! Fun stuff, yes?
Thanks for sharing this. I sincerely hope you'll update it eventually, as it was most enjoyable. Great work!
| Guardoflight chapter 2 . 8/4/2010
A very enjoyable story with an interesting idea and I look forward to your next chapter. When Ryoga appears in Nerima and the truth about Ranma's past is revealed I wonder how this will affect Ranma.
I hope to see a new chapter soon.
| Anon chapter 2 . 4/1/2010
I wonder if you remember that when Ranma thought he was a girl, he HATED VIOLENCE. And yet, it would appear that he is capable of gruesome things such as the bokken up Kuno's. Are you sure that you can do this? I'm not. I'm not saying it's horrible, it just needs to be revised very thoroughly. Find the episode. Watch it. Compare that Ranma to yours, and fix all your errors.
| RanmaFan chapter 1 . 1/28/2010
Please, help to spread the news of an online petition for Ranma 1/2 New Anime. The petition asks the producers to do a
Ranma 1/2 final anime adaptation from ranma 1/2 manga 37th and 38th volume. The website is in japanese,however,
but on this link there is a nice guide on how to fill it. I am not the owner of the site, only a huge fan of Ranma, as well
as all of you who read Ranma fanfic. Sorry for occupying your review space and thanks.
| Sir Thames chapter 2 . 12/28/2009
Love how you're doing this. Carry on.
| Wrin chapter 2 . 12/28/2009
Loving the intelligent socially-aware Ranma. I wonder what will happen if he ever regains his memory?
| Wonderbee31 chapter 2 . 12/28/2009
Good secnd part, and really liking how Ranma is standing up for his student and friend there, and will be looking forward to what happens if Kuno gets to close this time 'round, as I doubt the results will not be nearly as funny as the canon.
| Screaming Dean chapter 2 . 12/27/2009
I really loved reading this even if some of the passages seemed rather familiar.
| luger 7 chapter 2 . 12/26/2009
A most excellent fanfic. Party on, dude.
| TrueSeeker chapter 2 . 12/25/2009
I was hoping upon a second read through of this would find my initial conclusions as over exaggerations but sadly that is not true. I am normally a very enthusiastic fan of your Ranma stories, ergo you being one of the three Ranma writers I actively follow. But this... I am sorely disappointed in. Your premise execellent, your first chapter really good, and I was looking forward to the second so very much. Yet all I found was something that didn't seem like it was from you, the characterizations are flat and generic. Usually I read your stories for your ability to individualize the characters, to get them into the moment and logically act based on their personalities to the situation. Here they don't have any of the character the feeling and the interaction that you usually portrait. Ranma isn't acting anything like Ranma except for the slight teasing here or there. You somehow turned Ranma into a Mary Sue who could turn into a boy. Not only that but you say that Ranma has amnesia, yet every other scene she/he is going around and saying something about his trip or this or that with 'Pops'. I know I am ranting a bit here but it is just that I feel that you are not doing yourself justice with what you put out here. THe scenes plot and length are fine, yet it almost scemes as if you put out your plotline for this chapter instead of writing it just to apease some readers. Hopefully my previous review of your other chapter isn't what inspired this and regret it if it is. (That last statement is a little arrogant on my part and sorry for that)
I am also sorry if this is coming off as harsh or flamish, but as I said, you are one of the 'THREE' Ranma authors in all of that I actively follow and when you go and put up something like this and call it your work, its almost as if your trying to degrade yourself. If you need someone for a beta to help you with your writing please don't hesitate to ask me. Becuase I feel this hasn't even been beta'd but more like grammar checked. YOur beta is supposed to be the person that looks through your stories for holes, irregularites adn look for the things that are wrong to help you fix them and it hasn't been done here.
Now that I have vented a little, let me get onto the areas where I provide ideas to help you improve this. First adn formost the characterization as that is the part that is most laking. I know this is AU and your Ranma and your Akane are going to act differently becuase some assumptions about themselves and each other are different. But mainly your Ranma has no ingrained Ranma like qualities. Ranma is energetic, is course, is socially awkward, is confident, is arrogant. But he is also innately heoric in the face of physical dangers but cowardly in the face of emotional ones. Even if this Ranma remembers nothing but her/his name and has an ingrained memory of and a a subconcious addiction and reaction to Martial Arts, some of these traits should still remain. Ranma should be socially awkward, even more so now that she/he cannot passively remember alot of the very delicate social restrictions and rules that the Japanese society places. Take advantage of this. Have Ranma screw up socially all the time, and let Akane try to come to her rescue to not only help out her friend but to try and keep up the act she wants to portrait in front of thier schoolmates. Also, your Ranma is way to calm and collected. This is a person who pretty much lost all sence of identity almost instantaneously, let Ranma be overly dependent on Martial situations and on Akane, it gives not only an excuse to get them closer but to also make Ranma feel more normal and more human to your readers. Ranma can still be confident in her ability, she won't know why but she is, but there is no reason for arrogance. Also your Ranma in school doesn't strike me as ringing true. Ranma has difficulty in school not becuase he is unitelligent, his artial arts ability to analzye proves this, but becuase school is no interest to him/her. Let Ranma be like this and be forced from this by Akane or Kasumi or both. Even if Ranma has amnesia, some likes and dislikes are going to subconsciously stay the same. Sure, becuase Ranma may have amnesia she may develope new likes adn dislikes, but make is slow and progressive, not instaneous, because there is nothing to set Ranma in her was outside of some slight, vague, and instinctual feelings or half-forgotten memmories. Other things you can jump on to use for plot points are Ranma's comfort level in the bodies that she uses. For example, your Ranma believes she is a girl, which should make her think that she should be more comfortable adn at ease fighting as one. But lets say after the second fight with Kuno she realizes that she feels more comfortable fighting as a guy. What realizations or wild theories does this lead Ranma to thinking, how badly does she panic when she realizes this. These are the kinds of things you need to ask yourself or your beta needs to ask you before you post completed chapters.
Now moving onto Akane. Your Akane is almost way to casual and way to comfortable. Sure Ranma is a 'girl' but that doesn't mean that she still isn't going to be insecure about close and personal space when Ranma is in guy form. Also, you mentioned in the first chapter that they wanted to act somwhat distant or neutral to each other at school becuse they were acting like they had just met adn that while they didn't like each other they didn't dislike each other. Have them act that way. Use the last name reference to each other occasionally or use the -san suffix when they talk to each other at school. And Ranma stepping in to confront the group before the fight is logical; but Ranma taking fights instead of Akane, especially since she believes Ranma is a girl is against her character to allow. She is a martial artist and she wants to be treated like one, so she is not going to let another girl fight all of her battles. These are the interactions that you useually have that are missing, that detract from your story becuase they are not present.
I know this is long and kind of rantish, especially from someone who isn't confident enough in their own ability to write, so they don't post anything. But I wanted to try and help you get this story back on track to your ussual ability, adn I hope this helps. If not well then oh well I'll have to move down to only two authors I actively follow, because I could never continue to read an author who would degrade themself like this chapter degrades your name. Please think what you like about me but until next time I stay an avid fan. -TS