Reviews for Fade To Black
MeredithvL chapter 6 . 9/19/2012
I didn't review earlier chapters because I was so trapped in the story that I just wanted to keep reading. But this chapter... Wow. Just wow. What else can I say? You probably already know you wrote the best story on this site.
Nanool chapter 8 . 1/30/2011
Great story. I had been thinking of that (wo)man hunt idea applied to Sheppard. But I wouldn't have been able to write it that well. Keep going.
SecretLibrarian chapter 8 . 2/16/2010
Amazing story with strong female leads. Love it.
Vshard chapter 8 . 10/30/2009
As I'm using this as a very bizarre bedtime story, I find I must thank you for the sweet ending. It somehow seems to wrap it all up very nicely.. all calm and baby powder :P

Anyway, you have a beautiful way with words 'mother of all headaches', 'unstrung puppet', 'nodded as though he understood - wished that he did'.. just a fit that hit me right now. I also particularly like the katana crazy sisters... you made them very sinister though they somehow reminded me of a couple of twileks I saw once... Also loved the inner voices and backstories... interesting way you wove it all in here. Nice.

Could go on, but you get the idea. 'Fraid I don't have any criticism for you this time.
Dr.Olga chapter 8 . 3/27/2009
This story was really great, I enjoyed it a lot. I especially liked the character of Storm (I don't often read stories where there's an OC character in the lead, but I really liked her) and also the camaraderie between Storm and Shepard.
ImortalFalcon chapter 8 . 3/27/2009
What a wonderful ending my good sir. Defiantly a picture perfect military homecoming! Great story, you should be proud!
Kreidian chapter 8 . 3/27/2009
Having just finished reading the completed story I must say what a great, well written story this is. Great action and storytelling all the way through, I think you did an excellent job.

I liked how you showed Shepard pushing through the pain through most of the story, how she was risking brain damage to use her biotics towards the end. The whole thing added a nice sense of desperation to the story. I also really liked the way you handled the krogan hunter, and I agree it would have been pushing it to try to have them battle Bex to the death after everything. I enjoyed his sense of honor, though I think that could have used some more exploration, but overall it worked out very well.

The only problem I found in the story was the way you portrayed Haily at the end. Just struck me as way too soft and innocent. You wrote that Haily lived through the attack on Torfan. According to cannon that was a hellish, ruthless massacre filled with nonstop, brutal close quarters fighting. If Haily survived something like that it doesn't make sense that she might be shaken by what Shepard did to Karrick. It just seemed weird to me.

That said I did find the ended very touching and I'm glad you managed to put in the piano scene like that. :)
sinvraal chapter 8 . 3/27/2009
A fun story with cool action. I like the relationship between Shepard and Storm, and the personality of the different hunters. I like the way you described some of the tech, too, since it sells the futuristic setting.

Thanks for sharing this!
AblatedCrayon chapter 8 . 3/27/2009
A very nice ending to the story. This tale's a keeper. :)

The brother-sister banter at the end made me grin and think of my own sister and the repartee we share.

I'm glad Hayley's home.

AblatedCrayon
Sky66 chapter 7 . 3/26/2009
Hey, nice chapter. Really good and all with the action and the movement. Though, this is just me, it seemed a bit too fast, the story still makes sense but it just seems rushed. Oh, well, I guess I was hoping more for a gladiator arena style than just tossing the victim into the lions den. One major problem I see, why would Shepard and Storm be so willing to trust the crew? I would think they would get a message off or have a weapon locker somewhere and take up arms to get rid of their captors or at least try. This hasn't happened and I don't know if it will, I'm just speculating. Otherwise, yes it was very well done. I hope to be here for the ending, good luck and update soon.

-Sky66
ImortalFalcon chapter 7 . 3/26/2009
Wow, that was awesome. You stretched the chapter perfectly. It carried a fatigue and wore out feeling as I read it, but at the end I got a great sense of relief as the chapter closed. The way you emphasize the feelings of the characters is very well done. I'm guessing there's at least one more part left in the story? Looking forward to it my friend.
AblatedCrayon chapter 7 . 3/26/2009
I like the way you ended things with Bex as well. It was fully realistic and served the scene.

The camaraderie between Shepard and Storm was excellent once again, and I'm sorry that we won't get the opportunity to see more of them. What we have is sweet and holds promise for more in their lives for both of them, I think.

Showing the dark side of Shepard to Storm was a great insight into our Spectre's character. Along with the references to Akuze, it really made me empathize with the things she's had to endure, and what she's become in order to deal with these things.

I'm suspicious of what's going to happen since the story isn't over at this point. Perhaps this trip back to the Citadel systems won't be so easy. Perhaps you just want to tie off all the loose ends. Whatever the case may be, I'm intrigued to see for myself how you'll be ending it.

AblatedCrayon
eyyowlf chapter 4 . 3/24/2009
I'm catching back up on this and I love it. Really enjoyed the fight in the tunnels. I could "see" it, very descriptive. Liked her looting the dead batarian for some reason, I don't know why, just the way it was written.

This line popped out at me and I like it, very interesting:

'Why so worried, Shepard? You've been on borrowed time since Akuze and you know it.'
C. Dawgz chapter 6 . 3/23/2009
This is probably my favorite story you've done, and I've liked pretty much all of them a good deal. Your Shepard is suitably badass, the kind of "Jack Bauer in space" that Bioware was going for. Keep it up!
ImortalFalcon chapter 6 . 3/14/2009
Nicely done, the quiet part before the initial fight between the asari and Shepard was put together well, I actually whispered in my head as I read it!

The mines didn't seem over done at all. I figured if they inhibited biotic talents then there would have to be some kind of pain involved. Another captivating chapter, keep doing what you're doing.
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