Reviews for Goa'uld: Pop Sensation!
Guest chapter 1 . 5/16/2013
what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !what even!?
do u kno bwhy this site is devastated with piece sof shit like urself and these kinds of work which object to and defame every kind of ideal that fanfiction and stories and blah blah shit stands for. You shud just be ashamed of urself for even positing that this kind of stupid fucking rhetoric should even exist and I'm going to just !
letat'yastreb chapter 7 . 1/27/2013
update !
Arrowhead1996 chapter 7 . 1/23/2013
Okay, if your sister liked this thing so much, then why has there been no activity for four years? Please ask her to keep writing.
MrsDalek chapter 7 . 4/6/2012
Nice storyline! I'm impressed with both yours, and your sister's work :D

MrsDalek
Jewlbunny chapter 1 . 1/17/2012
I like that you through in the bird house thing. That was awesome! Well hope to read more of this story soon.
Myrle 16 chapter 7 . 12/19/2009
its so very weird to think of them as teens...
Myrle 16 chapter 6 . 7/16/2009
i love it!

the best part is the last line. "Jack knows how it feels to want to be with someone, but not be able to."

awsome!
Strictly Anonymous chapter 6 . 7/11/2009
I realize that my review is going to sound like a flame. More to the point, it will likely leave you in tears. In all honesty, though, you need to hear this from someone. Hate me if it makes this pill easier to swallow, but take something from this. I wasted over two hours reading your story to write this.

First subject: characterization. I can't say much for the Camp Rock side of the story since I've never seen that flick. I'm sure you did fine on that end. It's the Stargate side that has me alarmed, and I have much to say on this matter.

I'll start with my nice point first: your Jack-Daniel banter is not bad. Their pointless arguing gets tiring and well, pointless, but it is true to their character (for the most part) so I'll let it slide.

Most alarmingly, however, is Sam Carter. No matter how "humorous" it is to render the foremost expert on Ancient technology a blubbering fangirl, you are murdering her! By canon, all 11 years of it, she is a workaholic, a soldier, and a scientist. She is a strict professional during her entire time as an Air Force Major, and she was never comfortable in her own skin until season 9 (even then, she’s uncomfortable again in Atlantis). She only started dating in season 7! And that was after bumping her head, realizing she's getting old, and hooking up with her brother's best friend.

Second issue would be Carter-O'Neill relations. It doesn't matter if you are a subscriber to the Sam-Jack shipper community, all the furtive glances, little smiles, and awkward conversations are so much a part of their personalities, that you’re writing an entire subplot worth of character building clean out of your world.

Thirdly, the line you wrote in chapter one mentioned SG-1 getting lost, as usual. Surprise, surprise. SG-1 doesn't get "lost." Before ever stepping foot through a wormhole, the SGC sends out a MALP and a UAV. Between the two of those, SG teams get an idea on where civilization is or was, what kind of climate to expect, any unusual structures or landforms. To believe that the Air Force would send a team out without at least that intel is ridiculous. Given that, why did SG-1 not enter the camp already knowing the blueprints or a satellite image of the camp and a full roster of every person at the camp? I'll give you that background checks are impossible, given that it is illegal in the US to perform one on a minor, but it's ridiculous to assume that a team would be inserted without the slightest clue on the adults.

While this isn't a Stargate character, I still feel the need to question this. I may be way off the mark as far as Brown Cesario's character is concerned, but there are still several plot holes that could use some plugs here. Why is it that Cesario knows the names and ranks of SG-1 if SG-1 has taken the appearance of teenagers? Especially if SG-1 is not allowed to use ranks themselves? For that matter, why does he know that they're from the Air Force? And why is he not in the least bit suspicious? The legal enlistment age in the US is 18. None of SG-1 is posing as 18. How could they be sent by the Air Force? How could they have military ranks and PhDs? You can't expect that saying "national security" is going to open doors for you. More often than not an Air Force team of teenagers with an excuse like that is going to raise some serious eyebrows.

Second subject: your writing style. I acknowledge that everyone has their own style, and you get better about most of these things as the story moves along. Still, they deserve mention if for nothing else, so that you are aware of it.

Descriptions could get better. Remember, you have five senses. Each member of SG-1 has five senses, and they're trained to use all of them. Tell us about those senses! Jack smelt the sludge they were serving in the cafeteria, Carter heard the birds chirping merrily in the trees, Daniel felt the sweat dripping cold streaks down his back, Teal'c tasted the coppery tang of blood. You get the point. Engage us!

On a similar tangent, show, don't tell. Show Tess acting like a girl with a crush on Daniel rather than telling us that Tess has a crush on Daniel.

And as a general rule, introduce your problem early. It really irked me that you seemingly tacked on that line about an imposter in the camp. It felt like you were trying to save the story from being a Plot What Plot story without rewriting. If you introduce the Goa'uld threat early in the story, rather than hinting at it in the title and the summary, you can build suspense and held reel in readers. Plus, the readers (and yes, even the writer) knowing the threat is there can help shape the characters to act more on edge, as they should around a hostile alien bent on global domination through popular culture.

Third and final subject: details. These are just itty bitty things that only make you look smarter for knowing. They would be details such as guys' voices typically finish breaking by 17, Carter is actually two years younger than Daniel (despite the actors being the other way around), people typically don't appreciate lyrics randomly thrown into the middle of their stories, girls have a hard enough time in the military without acting like fangirls, archaeologists know the length of their strides so that they know the length of a dig without a measuring tape. You know, little things.

All that being said, if you managed to read through all of this, I applaud you. I know it's harsh, but I stated my defense above and I refuse to apologize for it. Think of this though, if your premise didn't have promise (or at least seem so ridiculously out there that it was somewhat original) I wouldn't have clicked and reviewed.

I sincerely hope you took something from this, and good luck in your future stories.
Myrle 16 chapter 5 . 6/15/2009
blue jell-o! nice! i was laughing very hard after i read that!

this is such a great chapter!

i love it!

keep up the awsome work, and i can't wait to read more!
Myrle 16 chapter 4 . 6/4/2009
he he! i love it!

by now, im sure u know how much i love ure story. so ya! i cant wait for the rest!
Myrle 16 chapter 3 . 5/25/2009
ha ha ha ! poor daniel! i really dont like tess. how can u tell? poor daniel!

great job so far!

waitin anxiously for more!
Jade Oneill chapter 1 . 5/23/2009
This story is awesome. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Myrle 16 chapter 2 . 5/23/2009
its great! i think its so cool that teal'c and sam are the ones that are happy to be there. i guess it came as a bit of a suprise. but its a great story, and i cant wait for the rest!
Myrle 16 chapter 1 . 5/19/2009
ahh! i cant wait to read more! its a totaly original idea and i love it!
1477166 chapter 1 . 1/30/2009
Oh wow. Jack passing for 16? Is that even possible? Did they use some kind of young age gadget? xD

Lmao at Sam oogling Connect 3. And wow. Camp Rock/SG1? That was definitely unexpected.

So yeah. Pretty awesome story so far! (:
16 | Page 1 2 Next »