Reviews for Metroid IV: Alone In The Stars
Anmynous chapter 9 . 5/12/2009
Heh, Yamato battlecruiser cannons...

Although, putting battlecruiser cannons on something not even as big as a house seems a bit overkill. Guess it depends on how big a battlecruiser is.

The build-up to Samus trusting Adam (also that one slip of the tongue) seems to be difficult to write, and it tells. Just wish I could suggest some concrete improvement.

On the other hand, Ridley voice-in-the-head was a completely unexpected, but also nice way to add character interaction to a single character experience.
WhiteFangofWar chapter 8 . 4/28/2009
It just keeps getting better... but worse for Samus. Or is it? Having Ridley along for the ride due to Metroid absorption is a completely unexpected, double-edged twist. Chances are good he'll have a crucial role to play in the finale. If nothing else, someone else like, say, Adam will eventually notice that Samus is talking to a voice audible only to herself (assumption since her text towards him is in quotations like usual).

I wouldn't consider it any but the most innocent degree of self-insertion, but there's a definite method to this madness. The greatest amount of creative license you ever take with a game usually results in a fun character who, while neither fully good or evil, is primarily a voice of bitter reason guiding the hero through the worst their enemies can throw at them- Doc Man, the original Hero of Time, and now Ridley. Not a criticism, just analysis. It's understandable, seeing as these heroes only get one life (can't even TELL you how many times that SA-X ambush in Sector 2 destroyed me. She's likely going to need more advice from him against Nightmare-X next chapter *shudder*). Wonder what his reaction will be towards Ridley-X... And of course, it will certainly get its own dialogue if the Yakuza does, straight from the 'cliche factory' since the X have yet to assimilate any creative writers such as yourself.
Gullwhacker chapter 8 . 4/27/2009
Heh. Figured it'd be Ridley. Well, at least Samus isn't alone for the rest of the game. And argh, I remember that SA-X encounter. Massive pain, and if you didn't know what you were doing, well. Good thing Samus had Ridley on her side, such as it is.

Hm. Can't help but wonder - that bit back in your Super Metroid novelization, where Metroids can give life force in addition to taking it. Wonder if the same might apply to whatever Samus did with Ridley, there. Of course, there's the question of what to put him in. Hmm.

Now, that was oddly foreboding, that bit about 'what if the Federation gets you as mad at them as you are at us'...and I immediately think of the secret in NOC sector. Heh heh heh.

Definitely looking forward to more. The Samus and Ridley dynamic, at minimum, should be fun to watch. The ship's computer, too... Thanks for the chapter.
Red Chaos Mage chapter 8 . 4/26/2009
As great a revelation as expected. Having Ridley guide Samus out of the SA-X encounter was a great way to have her figure it out. Well played.

Next up is the Nightmare run, followed by the Gravity Suit swim... Samus's reaction to Evirs should be interesting... And I assume you'll take advantage of Welhaam's device in lieu of the Shinespark Secret Message... I'm expecting a great show there.

Shame it'll be another 2 weeks before it's ready... It's getting to the good part. :-\ Oh well. Keep it up, boss. See you next installment.
Silver Warrior chapter 8 . 4/26/2009
oh crap! Ridley's in her head? That's hilarious, actually. I wonder which side 'Adam' will pick?
Linhasxoc chapter 8 . 4/26/2009
Ha! I knew that Ridley was the "voice" in Samus' mind! Keep up the good work.

However, I have a minor grammatical gripe with this chapter. Specifically, the line, "...allowing her to somehow defy the laws of gravity and inertia by making repeated leaps at the height of her previous ones. For all intents and purposes, a form of flight." You have a sentence fragment there. It should be either "...her previous ones: for all intents and purposes..." or "For all intents and purposes, it was a form of flight." Your story is coming along nicely, and I can't wait for the next chapter.
shadowwolf75 chapter 8 . 4/26/2009
Heh, Ridley has revealed himself and he's still epic win . . . this'll make things even more interesting, especially during certain future events.
Anonymous chapter 8 . 4/26/2009
Woo, new chapter! I love the banter between Samus and Ridley. Also, I'm glad Samus noticed how Nettori was a Chozo relic.
majinbuu7985 chapter 7 . 4/15/2009
Nice chapter, good to see the old friend's again. I assume you are going to have the Nettori X merge with the Rangda Bangda X before she fights it. I hope the voice in Samus's head is Matrix and not Ridley (as since Matrix liked Ridley, the memory of him would awaken Matrix's personality.) Looking forward to more soon
None of your Business chapter 7 . 4/13/2009
D-Rex? Rangda Bangda? Bospider? Also, Samus has an echo in her head? By any chance, have you been reading Erico's X/X2 novelizations recently?

All in all, a good chapter. Hope to see more soon.
Red Chaos Mage chapter 7 . 4/12/2009
You. Are. A. GENIUS! I never would've thought of having Ridley's subconscious absorbed like that as a secondary voice. Once Samus realizes it... oh the fun to be had!

Of course, the other aspects of the chapter were well done as well. The naming of the Drakura chick as Samus was a nice touch, as was the inclusion of MMX bosses as the unseen bioweapons in the Environmental Sectors.

I've been wondering something though... Since Samus already knows that the computer's name is Adam, what will she yell at him to let her go and finish the mission? I suppose she could get the same reaction by calling him "Malkovich", but... I dunno... That's the only real hitch I can see in the plot as it appears to be upcoming...

I'll leave it to you, boss. Another job well done, see you in 2 weeks.

Amethyst Nighthut chapter 7 . 4/11/2009
So far so good, and very nice really. Just mostly leaving a comment on the extra bit of amusement and enjoyment you gave with some of those experiments that they had in the sectors. It took me a while and a bit of thinking to realize what was going on there.

Anyways, good job, and keep it up.
Gullwhacker chapter 7 . 4/11/2009
Skipped reviewing last chapter; my apologies. Still reading, though, and still enjoying.

Previous chapter...Samus absorbing memories. Eep. Surprised that wasn't used in the game as a plot point, upon reflection.

The fallout from've thought this out, I can tell. Culminating in Samus finally finding out about Ridley. Shame about the poor guy...but then something happened. Definitely something odd.

...I always thought the X-Ridley was kind of a wimp. Yeah, it's still a boss, but it just wasn't the same. I forsee a few particular comments on that note.

Well, as it's 1 AM, I'll leave off there. Thanks for another interesting chapter!
Linhasxoc chapter 6 . 4/1/2009
Very good so far. I like what you're doing by putting multiple "stages" in a chapter: one per chapter would probably feel too choppy. However, I did notice a technical gripe about the latest chapter you posted. In this chapter, Adam says "Just be careful of the, ah, Ice-X. You'll be able to identify them by their blue coloring, and increased size; it seems the temperature change caused their density to increase."

Assuming that the X kept the same mass, increasing the density of the X would cause them to shrink, not expand. Density is a measure of the amount of stuff that fits in a given area, so to make the same mass of stuff bigger you'd have to decrease the density.

Technical gripe aside, I like what you're doing so far, and keep up the good work.
WhiteFangofWar chapter 6 . 3/31/2009
I had a feeling you'd mention Dark Samus at least once due to this actually being the second time Samus has faced 'herself' (third if you count Gandrayda), as well as mentions of the three Prime games in the flashbacks. But what's causing the mind-freeze, I wonder? Hoping to see more references to the Prime games, and some kind of dialogue from Ridley-X or the SA-X (queen of the X? How's that work when there's an estimated 10 of them later on?).

Speaking of dialogue, we finally have a 'chat' with a representative of the X. As fanatical and singleminded as can be figured from their behavior, but I was a little thrown by 'Gori' calling Samus a female dog. Unless the amount of human memories the X have now absorbed are having an effect on them? Nice foreshadowing through memory absorption anyway. As stated previously this story earned its M rating.
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