Reviews for Time's Lullaby
Sirenfox chapter 11 . 9/3/2013
Your story is very interesting and I can see it's potential to be really great. I'm going to give you a small challenge now to make it even better, whether you take this challenge or not is up to you. Now, in almost all the recent chapters I've noticed you end the chapter with a small list of explanations. When you you find yourself doing this go back to the story where each piece of the list originates from and flesh it out so we understand what is going on in the story instead of explaining it at the end, this will make the story sound smoother to the reader which will in turn keep them reading. Here's an example for the hardest of these 'lists'...
1-sneezing when trying not to laugh:
Harry could feel a tickle of laughter build in the back of his throat when his father turned on him, obviously attempting to appear intimidating. Harry wasn't fooled, but forced back his laughter. There was no point in blowing their cover to soon, they would need it in the future.
...(you put in some of what happened in the class here)...The tickle slowly built back up as his father spoke and Harry was trying so hard to ignore it like a good little kitty, but it was impossible. He squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath but nothing worked. The tickle of laughter just got harder and harder to ignore. But harry wasn't going to let it beat him, no sir he was not. He..."Achoo!"
Harry blinked in surprise. Professor Snape blinked back at him, unimpressed.
"Well?" His father snapped.
Harry quickly bit out the answer, feeling that irritating tickle of laughter build up at the absurdity of the moment. He tried to fight the building giggles and ended up sneezing...again.
Well, wasn't that just lovely, he thought irritably. He would either have to laugh, or sneeze. What an annoying little quirk he'd developed.
...
Anyway, like I said, this is just a little food for thought. Great chapter, I love your little Harry, he's darling...and I absolutely love the last part where he cuddled up to pansy's stomach, my last kitten used to do that, especially when my stomach was bare and she could feel the heat of my skin. She was adorable like that.
Allen's Matchmaker chapter 13 . 8/5/2013
Wow. You have a thing about giving terms or names a Japanese meaning, not that I mind. It has been too long since I last heard those words.
XD
What happened to the "Golden Trio"?
Lw117149 chapter 13 . 4/22/2013
THIS WAS NICE i LOOK FORWARD TO THE SEQUIL...
The Amendable Snow Freak chapter 13 . 3/20/2013
Great job, I luv it!
Mashkai30 chapter 13 . 10/20/2012
Wonderful story! Thanks for sharing!
ShadowFireHime-Sama chapter 1 . 8/30/2012
the song was classic very nice lolz
ShadowFireHime-Sama chapter 13 . 8/17/2012
_ harry as a dark character cute
Thisisnirvana chapter 13 . 8/8/2012
I loved this story! Now, I shall go read the sequel! :)
mindgameplay chapter 12 . 7/29/2012
rolanda hooch
Guest chapter 11 . 6/30/2012
One think that bugged me the first time I read this (and again now) is that both aisu and heru are not really Japanese words, but are adopted English words with their pronunciations/spelling changed to better fit the Japanese language. I'm not fluent in Japanese, so I can't give an "expert" answer, but google translate assures me that "jigaku no koori" would be a better translation (literally, "ice of hell"). Alternatively, switch "jigaku" and "koori" to get "hell of ice". While the "better" translation might not work for what you're using it for depending on your naming preferences, the word aisuheru makes me laugh because it's so close to English.

Otherwise, I'm really enjoying this story (as evidenced by my reading it for a second time). If I get a chance I'll come back and read the re-write when (if?) it's done.

Rae (who is too lazy to make an account)
TheLycanLovegoodChronicles chapter 12 . 5/18/2012
Rolanda Hooch
DarkFlameInfernal chapter 13 . 5/10/2012
love it
Umbra Drachen chapter 8 . 4/2/2012
Close; very close. it is Avada Kadavra which is latin for living corpse. advada is lati for ethier liveing or healing(i.e I didnot want to look it up in my mental dictionary{dont judge me you try knowing three languges with a bunch of random words and sayingd in multiple languages}). kadaver means corpse so it basicly means living/healing corpse.
mattcun chapter 13 . 3/2/2012
plz write more
Historylife chapter 2 . 6/21/2011
vary cool so far. keep up the amazing work
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