|Reviews for The Royal is born|
| RogueAlly chapter 5 . 3/15
I'm reviewing as you "demanded." Seriously, who tells people not to read if they're not going to review? For anyone who actually reads the reviews first, that should have been your first warning!
Despite the rudeness in your summary, I gave this a try because I like Vampire!Bella. She has so much potential. Unfortunately, you failed miserably in fleshing out the character and fell even shorter from making her likable than SM did. That's saying something.
By the time I got to this chapter, I realized a few things about you. The first is that you are either incredibly young or incredibly blind to your own faults as a writer. If it's the former, I sort of feel bad for this review. I tend to be blunt, though, and you literally begged shamelessly for this. If it's the latter, you really should get a beta. Preferably, you should get a beta who is better at writing than you are. Also, you either need someone to help you stay in-character or to put a big old OOC warning in your summary. All of your characters sound like they're thirteen. Again, if this is because of your age then I would highly recommend that you wait a few years before writing about anyone over the age of thirteen, especially if they're supposed to be immortals from another time period who have lived centuries.
Another thing that I realized was that you have no concept of what children are really like, which points me more towards the conclusion that you are in your early teens yourself. Children so young do not act like this. I should know. I have an 11-year-old and a three-year-old. If you're going to write about extremely young characters, you should try observing how they actually act first.
Well, I've given you my review as "required" for reading your story. I honestly considered not leaving one at all and letting you see the read count go up without a new review. I decided that was a waste of an opportunity to educate you in politeness and the need to use a beta and get some experience before you try this again.
| fanficlds chapter 1 . 1/31/2014
This is very good I enjoyed it alot. Keep it up :)
| Guest chapter 15 . 6/11/2013
good story cant wait to read sequal.
| Tsuruga-Ryuuki chapter 15 . 3/4/2013
| Guest chapter 8 . 11/14/2012
| Jomandi Barnyard chapter 5 . 11/5/2012
I'm sorry, but I just can't finish this. It is far too incoherent for my liking. No offence, but you should either write in an alternative language; get a beta; or look for another hobby. Seriously. In hind-sight, I should've realized that your demand for reviews probably meant that your writing was lacking.
I'm going to go take a long, hot bath; take a few painkillers and go to bed because I have a migraine of epic proportion.
PS: I apologize for the overall b!tchiness of this review but, in my own defense, you are the one who gave me the headache.
| Jomandi Barnyard chapter 4 . 11/5/2012
| Jomandi Barnyard chapter 1 . 11/5/2012
Wow. I really don't what to say... I think the sudden influx of knowledge is giving me a headache. I really hope the rest of your story has more substantive matter within it.
| xxxLauraaxxx chapter 15 . 11/4/2010
Love this story
plz write more soon
| Sara Ivy Wolf chapter 7 . 10/31/2010
Can you please tell me the names of the saongs and the artists or are they songs that your wrote?
| ANGEL FALLEN FROM HEAVEN chapter 15 . 10/26/2010
i love it omg i really do i love u and plz plz plz plz keep writing bye
| Mikayla Nicole Romaker chapter 15 . 11/27/2009
LUV IT! it was really great
| hayley18 chapter 7 . 7/12/2009
what does the second to last thing she say mean! I must know! lolz
| ChillStoryBro chapter 15 . 6/29/2009
Not bad, though it didn't flow as well as one would have hoped, it was a good read
| Kristyn1994 chapter 1 . 6/24/2009
The story is so good