|Reviews for Drifting|
| ultragashinferno chapter 1 . 7/15/2012
Omg ghost-types are my favorites, and Drifloon and Rotom are freaking cute together ; x ; I'm going to call my next Drifloon Helium. FAV!
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
This is a great story, and has all of the things I like in a oneshot. I found it when I searched for a Rotom fic. (XD)
This left me satisfied with its being a oneshot and not having a sequel. It has its little one chapter's worth of emotions, characterization and good writing.
While liking its resolution,I would still be overjoyed if there was a sequel - and read the reviews, learning that this is a TDW side-story. That made me happy!
But then I read TDW and TDW:Phoenix's "final chapters". That made me sad.
I'll read TDW now. Good authors on hiatus make me sad, but there's little readers can do to help them. Don't rush yourself, but I shall look forward to potential TDW side stories in the future.
. . . Argh. I hate reading a discontinued fic. Along the way, my determination waivers, part of me asking myself to stop reading so that I won't have to get to its "ending", the other part saying "You've gone this far, so why not?"
| godzilla898 chapter 1 . 8/28/2010
Nice oneshot. Nelium's quite a character, and the Rotom is awesome. Almost would have liked to see more, but the ending was a good spot.
| CellarDoor96 chapter 1 . 5/16/2010
This was very well-written. My only complaint was that you seemed to skip over certain details before referring to them. For example, you said that Helium "looked back towards the city" before you mentioned that she had left the city. But it was relatively minor, compared to how amazing the rest of the story was. The detail, not necessarily on the setting or the characters, but on the thoughts of the characters and their introspection, was wonderful. As another reviewer said, the two halves of the story formed an effective contrast between the darkness of Helium's worldview and the kindness of the Rotom.
I knew immediately what the ball of yarn was as soon as you mentioned a "ball of red yarn". When the Rotom said it was just yarn, I thought, "Hohoho, you're certainly in for a surprise..."
Though, now that I think about it, Rotom don't normally have (known) genders in the games, and thus can't be infatuated. This would not normally be a problem, since most people (myself included) usually give genders to genderless Pokemon anyway, but the fact that you consistently referred to the Rotom as "it" confused me very slightly. Just something to look out for in the future.
Your character interactions were completely natural, I loved the characters and the smoothness with which they acted. You're a very talented writer.
| ObsessedwithBirds chapter 1 . 2/4/2010
Aw this is so cute! 3
| Tec V5 chapter 1 . 12/15/2009
Huh? What's this? I never noticed this story before now... It was written months ago, but I'm compelled to review it somehow. I'm going to go ahead and assume this was written before Helium was introduced in TDW, because high scorer 'A' was mentioned way back when the story was still young. Seeing as how this was written a while ago, and you've probably already improved over that time, commenting on your writing style would be simply meticulous... So I'm gonna do it anyway. The descriptive portions of the story actually seem better than in TDW. Your description of Helium's actions and thoughts display the bashful nature she has, and enhances the idea of a dark and harsh world in the beginning. The latter half focuses more on the two ghosts' interaction, building the contrast to 'a dark world' as you probably intended. The way you start the story without background on the main character or much to her current situation follows the idea of a oneshot. Though it's your first, you captured the idea by beginning 'in medias res,' or in the middle of the action. A oneshot is intended to be a turning point or critical event in a character's life, in this case Helium's meeting of the unnamed (yet obvious) Rotom. The ending also had the oneshot-style 'metaphorical outlook on life' with Helium's thoughts on her new friend.
This may not be how you intended it, but by not using the Rotom's name, the story retained oneshot quality. Because it's Helium's story, points of the other stories aren't as important, and meticulously naming the character would make the story a little more of a chapter in TDW and less of a oneshot... If that makes any sense. It's still no secret that the Rotom's Chaos, as he's the only Rotom we know in the Tales of Flame/Until Dawn/Darkness Within multiverse. Well, except for Hacky, but he can be eliminated as the story's Rotom is neither a toaster nor a jerk, among other things. As for the items Helium samples, they're probably all hold items from the game. If I had to guess, the metal ball is... well an Iron Ball, kind of a giveaway as it eliminates holder's ability to levitate. The ball with smoke... a Smoke Ball, or possibly a Toxic Orb, but Helium wasn't poisoned to my knowledge, so likely the first. And the only thing that resembles red yarn, definitely a Destiny Knot, which apparently makes the 'foe' become infatuated if the holder does. No Chaos, it's not a normal ball of yarn, it can glow. If it glew at all, then that means Helium's growing fond of Chaos, and though he's not an enemy Chaos is the only person there to absorb the effects. The first time, the ball glew briefly, and the second time it lasted longer. I assume this means the more Helium takes to Chaos, the stronger the effects of the Knot will be.
For this week's fun fact random trivia, the Destiny Knot is actually based on a popular Japanese myth, saying that two people destined to be together are tied together by an invisible red string (if it's invisible, how does it have a color?) on their little finger. You can see why it has the effects it does in the game. If you do any more oneshots in the future, they'll probably turn out as well as this one. Happy Holidays!
| jackinafrickinbox chapter 1 . 10/26/2009
This was surprisingly interesting and sweet. Conveying Drifloon extremely well seemed to be extremely natural, the whole story flowing easily. Of course, I am no writer, so this probably isn't much help in a review. But words of praise are always good! XD
Hmm, for some reason I think the glowing ball of yarn was the Destiny Knot. The disc is probably a TM, maybe one that Drifloon can learn but not Rotom? Oh well, great job!
| ChristianDragon chapter 1 . 10/2/2009
I really liked this story. What was up with the glowing yarn ball though? Yarn doesn't glow.
| powerstaark chapter 1 . 7/24/2009
Why did Helium's ball of yarn glow?
| The Dragon Lover chapter 1 . 5/24/2009
It was nice to read a story that actually starred a Drifloon, as well as starring a Rotom. I haven't read the rest of your stories, but I still really liked reading this because of the Pokemon included. You really helped us understand how much of a problem the wind was, too, which is good. w All in all, this was a great read, and when I have time I'll read the rest of your stories!
Lots of dragon-y love (and cookies!),
~DL ('Dragon Lover')
| ShadowBlueShane chapter 1 . 3/24/2009
I'm surprised I didn't find this earlier.
This one shot was pretty cool actually. Ireally liked the sentimentality of it all. I really feel like I understand Helium's character a bit more so that's good, too.
| WillowRubyBelle chapter 1 . 3/3/2009
Aw, that's a cute story I like it!
| OverlordBossk chapter 1 . 2/17/2009
I like the connection this brings for these characters. I was actually hoping when I read the chapter with them in TDW, that there would some sort of explanation of their meeting.
I thought this sentence can be reworded a little:
"The abnormality of this night was lost on the creature which presented the only sign of life, a small purple creature which floated though the alley, her speed [...]"
I don't think you need to reference "creature" twice in this sentence. Maybe something along the lines of:
"The abnormality of this night was lost on the only sign of life in the city, a small purple creature which floated through the alley[...]"
But that's just my thought. All-in-all, nice tie-in with TDW - and could be used to further the background, or turn into its own story. I like it!
| Master Xanat chapter 1 . 2/13/2009
That was such a well written one-shot. Helium and Chaos were portrayed really cutely in this story and the overall atmosphere was heart-warming. There were two questions that I hope are eventually answered in your other stories. What was the odd disk and why was the ball of yarn glowing? I personally think the odd disk was a TM/HM, but the ball of yarn beats me. To tell the truth, I feel honored that you put the suggestion to good use, bravo.
| LifeofLove chapter 1 . 2/8/2009
This is a great story, and it could be continued at some time if you wanted to.