|Reviews for Behind Crumbling walls|
| Korregidora chapter 1 . 9/14/2014
Wow that was intense! You had 6 of Konoha's sexiest shinobi in one story, even with two other hot but now deceased men (snifflles) making a cameo via memories! Such heartbreak and angst - so glad that everyone was able to work things out in the end.
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
I cried like crazy reading this! great story.
| jj chapter 1 . 12/6/2013
this was amasing I love the fact that it had an actual plot and a very good plot at that it was assume I love it
| Zain chapter 1 . 10/30/2013
this was incredible. i was shock that anybody had this kind of dedication to portraying the realism of sex, it's complexities and can i just say
i SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMED when you wrote about ko grabbing Iz from genma and demanding med evidence for STIs.
these are just a few of the things you created and convey to me your very satisfied reader.
i am off to read this again.
can't imagine kakashi being bottom for anybody - that was a hard read
i hate rai threatening to rape iruka.
BUT that was all part of why i love this fic, because that shit could very well happen in orgy parties or swingers clubs.
BIG THANKS XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
| gabriel.x0 chapter 1 . 12/21/2012
aaah! just amazing how you managed to combine those deep feelings with pleasuring-each-other thing.
all pieces of plot are impressive, raidou's characterization together with his love to minato and kakashi's jealousy - in particular.
superb work! thank you for sharing)
| WhitenyRose chapter 1 . 10/5/2011
i swear, everytime i read your stuff i end up crying my eyes out. i mean, the ending, is it even supposed to be possible to be turned on and crying at the same time. damn girls!
the twisty relationships are so real but still fanticiful enough... i dunno if that even makes sense.
ko and izu are soooo cute! such a wonderful contrast to kakashi and genma and raidou, i guess iruka is cute too but he was so damn sexy... ko and izu were like puppies while iruka was a sex kitten. haha, no more annalagies.
i very much enjoyed. i love reading everything you have written.
| Cardboard Bike chapter 1 . 7/31/2011
This is so. Freaking. Amazing.
Possibly the most intense, nerve-wracking sex I've ever read. And seriously, how do you manage to write 40000 words of porn, that goes further than even Naruto's stamina. The relationships between the man are amazing, I particularly like how strong you portray Iruka and Kotetsu's protectiveness combined with Izumo's shyness is mega cute.
I will say you have a slight problem with spelling in terms of hoping/hopping, there/their/they're, your/you're, bare/bear etc. It's something that would probably benefit you quite a bit to study up on (the differences) s you are a good writer and it will only help you perfect your craft.
I would also recommend refraining from writing words in all caps (any English teacher/professional writer will tell you this) because it breaks up the flow of the story. Same goes with your stretched out words. The context should give the reader enough info to know which words need emphasis, and if it's really important to get the point across perhaps try using italics.
And perhaps try breaking up your paragraphs a bit more, it can get tiring to read long blocks of text especially on a screen. You could try placing thoughts in italics instead of single quotation marks as that can also help break up a story into chunks that are easier to digest.
Sorry if I sound like I'm ranting at you . They're really just little things, and as a writer every little hint can help you get better (though I'm also aware this story is two years old). I did really enjoy this fic.
| volaju66 chapter 1 . 5/19/2010
Wow, I am a bit speechless. That was one of the most amazing stories I have ever read on here!
| Ivy Levrai chapter 1 . 1/17/2010
Wow. I don't know where to really start on this review.
It was beautiful. I know that probably sounds very strange but it was. It.. Yeah.
I cried. I know that is very odd. But I never cry.. and I did. It was amazing. I mean, so much pure raw emotion put into it... It was just shocking.
I mean.. Wow. Amazing.
| Kick-Aft chapter 1 . 11/10/2009
This is awesome. I love your stories. A sequel would be interesting. Thank you for sharing this.
| Dakduif chapter 1 . 6/30/2009
Shit. On a sandwich. O_o
Where to start? Well, first off: this was LOONGG. o I put the computer on stand by last night because it was already half past one and I finished reading it this morning. :P It took me hours, longer that any fic I've ever read. Makes me wonder how long it took you to write this?
Well, the hard work really shows. ;P You really took your time describing all the positions, making it easier to read. This story was playing in my head like a movie the whole time; proof you took your time carefully writing down all the details.
I started reading this, thrilled at the pairings you used in this, but with the hope it was just Pwp. XD Instead I got angst, humour and ALOT of hot smexin'.
I thought the Genma/Kakashi scene was hot and the breath play made steam come out of my ears, but hell, I'm just a kink-addict like that. XD
Only thing that bugged my now and then, were some typos. They sometimes made the sentences hard to understand, because duplicate words were used or just a completely different word was put in. Quick example: 'hopping' instead of 'hoping'. Not that big of a deal, but it makes me wonder: do you have a beta? If so, you should ask him/her to check it more thoroughly, 'cause it were spelling mistakes a spellingchecker won't pick up on.
I like your writing style on a whole, but maybe you can try to put some more commas in sentences to give readers a little pause.
Overall: More shit on a sandwich. O_o I'm happy I took my time reading this. I look forward to reading more of you. Do you have a yaoi-gallery account? Might be worth it to post this here, I'm sure the Naruto-community will thank you for it. :P
Also, sorry for giving critiques. o"
| Aoi Azarashi chapter 1 . 4/12/2009
wow...holy sh*t that was f*cking hot. I had to keep turning off my monitor when my mom walked into my room lol but omg that was so worth risking getting caught over hehe...
| see1like chapter 1 . 3/8/2009
Wow, that was hard core!
I must congratulat you! you must have brocken some kind of recored with this huge, sexy hot lemon. Gah! I can hardly manage writing an old school couple's lemon, so a sixsome o_O ?
I must admit that I read it in bits and piece because it was so massive and daunting.
I also admit to skipp the more rough stuff, such as the Genma-Kakashi thing. I did not like it, it was to much for me to handle.
What I loved the most was the sweet talk that raidou and Genma shared at the end.
Ok, keep writing and as Iruka says:
Thank you for your hard work
| MiataCatashi chapter 1 . 2/17/2009
Um...that wa hot and well written and all...but I think you might be confusing characters. The only character who smokes is Asuma, neither Raido nor Genma are blond, and I think you might have Raido and Genma backwards (I'm pretty sure Genma is older than Raido).
You sure you're writing about the right characters? Raido with the burn scar on his face? Genma always chewing a senbon needle? Kotetsu with a bandage-cloth over his nose? O.o? You've obviously got Kakashi down.
| vaughnrock chapter 1 . 2/14/2009
The Omg story had me crying the whole thing
It was amazing