Reviews for Failing Marriage
JuJu-chan the Vampire chapter 4 . 5/19/2013
Love it! Poor Jesse . . . my southern bro . . .
courtney burgess chapter 4 . 12/4/2012
hi i like it when will you make number 5 i am so excited i even typed 32 digimon stories still working on them today :)
Assassin1035 chapter 4 . 7/31/2012
Although I have nothing against gay people I just think that none of the characters in the series were gay. I especially didn't see chazz and Syrus together but I guess you just wrote down what your thoughts were at the time and I understand that. If this post is offensive in any way I'm very sorry and I did no mean it to be that way. Anyways thanks for reading my review and keep up the good work.
Jake chapter 4 . 9/3/2011
Update
lavender Crystal chapter 4 . 12/30/2010
UPDATE WOMAN!

YOU SAID MORE AND THERE IS NO MORE!

MORE MORE MORE!

THIS STORY IS GREAT BUT IF YOU DON'T UPDATE YOU WILL DIE

jokes

ehehehe

update!
Miya Mitsuki chapter 1 . 12/26/2010
come on! you said that there is more and i want it. you can't just leave jaden and jesse like that. you have to continue for the sake of the holy awesome spiritshipping.

please i totally love your spiritshipping stories. keep up the good work
yugioh Gx fan chapter 4 . 8/23/2010
Needs more
RejectedShyRebel18 chapter 4 . 9/30/2009
awesome job on the 4 chaps i love thise story
jackie chapter 4 . 8/30/2009
;.; i feel soo sad 4 jesse and jaden!

update soon!
Rain chapter 4 . 8/1/2009
LUV THIS STORY!

No, they cant get married, Judai-chan belongs to Jesse!

Awesome story, thanks for uploading!
JoyNaruta chapter 4 . 7/26/2009
Hi :D new reader here xP I love your fic

Poor Jesse D: I know you will get Jaden soon *-* xP

update soon please *-*
evanescenceangel18 chapter 4 . 7/25/2009
Aw poor Jesse it must be so hard wathcing the person you love getting married to another. I feel so bad for him and Jaden because he started having second thoughts in marrying Alexis there for a bit. I'm not trying to be mean or anything but what if Alexis dies during child birth due to complications so like that she doesnt have to suffer the pain of knowing the person she loves leaving her for another person? Just a suggestion so like that no one ends up hurt okay well Jesse justgot hurt but I mean so like that all 3 dont end up hurt. Anyways enough of my blabbering this was an amazing chapter and I totally loved it. Love ya dear. XD
Lugubrious Butterflies chapter 4 . 7/25/2009
Constructive Criticism!

First off I would like to tell you about your characterization. I've noticed that your characters in this story tend to stray from who they really are. For instance, Jaden doesn't know anything about romance, he is a very child-like character who has always been very naive. And Zane is not lovey-dovey nor will he ever be that way and about the pack that they made, Zane probably won't live to be 35. He has been very sick from the beginning and he often hints at his near death. OH, and Atticus doesn't smirk.

Next I will talk about the relationships you have set up. Where exactly did you get the idea to have Chazz/Syrus together? They don't really like each other as friends. Where did this sudden friendship between Jaden and Zane come from? They have never really had that much of a friendship...ever, and Jaden's best friend is Syrus from the very first episode. Your character's relationship with Zane also appears from nowhere, you don't give enough history to their relationship. This 'pack' doesn't make sense at all, because it's not in Zane's character to suggest something like that or go along with it, he doesn't even think he will make it to his 20th birthday.

Now, your grammar and spelling are things that you should really check over. Spell check will catch wrongly written words but won't catch the words that are spelled right but not right for the sentence. Example, aisle vs. 'isle'. You don't use punctuation properly especially your commons.

Lastly I need to explain to you a proper wedding. It's a Garter not a Carter, they are two completely different things and spelling shouldn't be an issue because you repeat it constantly. Blair is WAY to old to be a flower girl, they usually range from the ages of 2-9, she doesn't even look that old. When the procession is going on the best man stands next to the groom while the couples walk down the aisle, and the maid of honor walks just before the bride by herself. And the rest of the men are referred to as 'Groomsmen' not 'best men' there is only one best man. Oh, and why does the maid of honor wear something different than the rest of the girls? You stated that Emily wears 'a ocean blue dress with a light blue belt', but then you say that the bridesmaids wear 'a light blue dress with a dark blue belt'.

Thank you for your time.

From The Lugubrious Butterflies
RejectedShyRebel18 chapter 3 . 7/20/2009
i love the 3 chaps of youer story failing marriage and rilly hope you contiue it and chazz is a boy right
evanescenceangel18 chapter 3 . 7/13/2009
Wow this was another amazing chapter! Poor Jesse I feel so bad for him because he is in love with Jaden but Jaden is getting married to Alexis and is having a baby so Jesse doesnt want to feel like the home-wrecker. Anyways love this amazing story and I cant wait for more. Love ya dear. XD
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