|Reviews for Tired|
| Dreaming fantasia chapter 1 . 7/14/2015
This is one of the most epic stories ever
| whatsamatta chapter 1 . 2/5/2011
Honestly, this story irritated me. I'll start with my smaller grievance: why is Dr. Gamble being so vindictive towards his student? It may just be my expierence, but I've yet to meet a teacher who would prefer to see his student fail rather than succeed. And why is he a doctor, rather than just a high school teacher? Being an instructor of physics in a high school doesn't give you the title doctor anymore than teaching biology makes you a brain surgeon.
Now, on to the plot of your story:
So Jimmy and Cindy equally say some nasty-ish things to each other, Jimmy goes into wailing break down mode, being snippy at every one whether they deserve it or not. Then, Cindy *begs* for forgiveness after she sees how tormented he is, and they live happily ever after.
-Why is she the only one to apologize? Are her hurtful words the only ones that matter? And I get that this story is primarily Jimmy's point of view, but you make it seem like he's the only one pained by this - in my modest opinion - minor fight.
I suppose that you're trying to convey a sense of romance in the fact that Jimmy couldn't live without Cindy, but it was over the top. Jimmy came off as, I don't know what, a cross between a pansy and a douche bag I think might be the only way to describe.
And as for your ending, aside from the fact that in two months Cindy never once said I love you to anyone, she was also the only one to have said it. So with your final line:
"She felt Jimmy smile as they continued to stand in the rain, the both of them realizing that nothing more needed to be said." I couldn't help but add in my head 'by Cindy. But Jimmy certainly had some explaining to do.' Because not only does he not apologize, and in my interpretation of it blame Cindy, but he doesn't say he loves her save in his rant. And the anger he's feeling drowns out all other emotions, no matter what he says.
I think you had a good idea, and a good message. I just think it was lost on the way to publication.
| xxanime chapter 1 . 6/21/2010
Awww! That was so sweet and cute!
It was a bit painful to read at first, especially with Jimmy not being able to sleep and his grades dropping (would never believe it :P). It was a good idea putting the aftermath of the breakup first and then having the flashbacks showing us what happened.
Overall, it had just the right amount of angst and fluff to balance eachother.
| Wolvmbm chapter 1 . 2/8/2010
Very cute and interesting one-shot story as the trials of love can truly affect a person's life. :D
PLease do keep up the good work upon such great ideas for future stories like this one. ;)
| Fizzy Starburst chapter 1 . 2/17/2009
This was, in the words of my friend Adam, adoorwable.
You kept the characters in check while still shwoing that they've chnaged over the years, which is a difficult thing to do.
| jediguru chapter 1 . 2/13/2009
Jimmy sighed angrily but before he had the chance to speak again, Cindy yelled, not really thinking about what was coming out of her mouth. “I swear Jimmy; you give me more and more reasons to hate you!”
Jimmy smirked and said in the same angry tone as the girl standing before him. “Oh really? Why don’t you do something about it then? Instead of complaining, do something!”
What Cindy said was something that neither of them expected to come out of her mouth, “Fine then Jimmy! We’re done. Over.”
With that she stormed out of the clubhouse leaving Jimmy standing there shocked and hurt looking at the spot that she was once standing on.
ok, what exactly was it that hurt him? and why did it hurt him enough to basically give up on life? if imj being dense im sorry but i am alittle confused.
other than that, i loved it keep writing like this!
| HPJNlife chapter 1 . 2/12/2009
Very very cute!
| acosta perez jose ramiro chapter 1 . 2/11/2009
Whoa. Jimmy needs Cindy more than he needs oxygen; awesome story.
Keep the good writing.