|Reviews for Across The Universe|
| Zany chapter 1 . 1/23/2013
Very sweet and fluffy! I LOVE IT! (I picked that back story because it seemed the most angst for my character :D) It gives her a softer, more vulnerable side to have a tragic past like that. This was great! I loved it!
| From Thessia To Rannoch chapter 1 . 4/17/2012
This actually made me tear up when you went into the flashback. When you started into Shepard's mom point of view as she watched the young Jane leave for the library, I was thinking about what her mom would think seeing her daughter now. Yeah, that's when I started crying.
Wow, never had this reaction to a fanfic before. I guess you did good. :)
Or I'm just emotional. But this is good. :p
And in the next flashback, when you have Jane and Mrs. Shepard talking, I can really see the adult Shepard in the child version of herself in that scene.
Good job. I'll be watching out for your other works now.
| Animus of Masada chapter 1 . 3/6/2011
| Jenna53 chapter 1 . 5/18/2010
A little sad, a little romantic, very nice. Thanks.
| WarriorDrgnMage chapter 1 . 2/12/2010
Very well written story. And you checked the spelling and grammar which is more than I can say for about half the people on ffn. Anyways, I wanted to correct something you messed up on in your story: in order to become a biotic the child has to be exposed to Element Zero while still in the womb. I think the stats are that out of one hundred exposed children thirty will get brain cancer, sixty will have no change and only ten will have some kind of biotic ability.
| Rinn Harridan chapter 1 . 8/4/2009
Sweet and tradgically beautiful. Nice work. Loved it.
| Yoly chapter 1 . 3/26/2009
Hehe I liked how you made the story work with the individual Shepards background. Thank you so much for the Shenko! I loved it. -
| redshift87 chapter 1 . 2/14/2009
Good story, I enjoyed reading it. I like that you didn't make this overly mushy or melodramatic.
I did notice a couple of spelling/grammar issues; towards the beginning there was a line that should have said "-never- been razed" and towards the end you spelled straightened wrong.
Otherwise, good work. Write some more! :-)
| waiting4morning chapter 1 . 2/12/2009
How sad! I like the idea of Cmdr. Shepard going to visit her old homeworld. The description of the memorial was well-done.
One little criticism: it was really hard to follow the dialogue since it was all in one paragraph. Break up the sentences of dialogue with two spaces between them, like you're using for your paragraphs. It makes it so much easier to read. It should look something like this:
"Hi," said Shepard.
"Ma'am," replied Kaidan.
| MeSoCute123 chapter 1 . 2/12/2009
Very good. But I did notice one very outstanding problem.
I'll copy and paste, just as an example:
“We had better get back to the ship.” “Yes, ma'am.”
the quotes were a bit close together. Without a tag at the end, it makes the story a bit to fast-paced. And the story was more dialogue than desciption.
I might be being just a bit too over-critical, though. It was a good fic otherwise!