|Reviews for Winchester West|
| Nerd-in-a-book chapter 68 . 7/15/2013
I really really enjoyed reading this story, I actually had to physically stop myself at one point when I realised it was nearing on 4am and I was still reading! This was absolutely amazing!
| DeansBabyBird chapter 3 . 3/29/2011
I can see you have put a lot of thought into the plot of your story and are working hard to make the 'period' nature of your piece authentic. Very well done for that.
A couple of small things detract from that...the paragraphs could do with breaking up a bit as the length makes reading on line a bit difficult. You also have a few strange word choices. I don't think your understanding of the word carnage is the same as mine. I think perhaps you mean chagrin.
Do you have a beta reader? I think you'd find it helpful as a good beta spots all the little quirks that the writer doesn't see because they are so into the story.
| Lykaia chapter 60 . 2/15/2011
Honestly, I like the idea behind the story. Or else I would not have read all 60 chapters of it in three days and find myself looking forward to more. However, there are a few points that you should really look into.
First, grammar and spelling. Usually, reading a few lines with as many grammar and spelling mistakes as this story has, I tend to drop the story to look for something else. Goes to tell how much I like the story so far. Please, please! Find someone to beta for you.
Second, the characterization of some of the characters. At times, it's not quite clear what their motives behind their decisions are. White Feather seems downright erratic at times, without much of an explanation.
So, for these two reasons, all of those 60 chapters read more like a first draft than a finished story. It's like a raw gem, that needs polishing to shine and I think you should polish it. It would be worth the effort.
And finally, I hope that you won't reach a stage with this story at which you are just drabbling on. I know it sounds strange, but I would like to see the end of the story at some point. A good story (in my books) needs a good start (your story has that), a good middle part (your story has that) and a good finish (I hope your story has that, too). The end of a story is the big goal toward which everything in the story is heading. The point at which all or at least most question will be answered. A story without end is pretty much meaningless. It's actually why I dislike the very idea of a 6th season of Supernatural so much. The story was great and it had a great end, however sad it was. Everything was heading there from the very start of the first episode. Most things that happened, happened for some reason in hindsight. Now, I'm not sure that the show still has that sense of purpose and direction. So, you see, for me an good end is what makes a decent story great. It doesn't have to be a happy end, but there has to be one at some point. So, please tell me that you have one in mind.
| alib chapter 57 . 12/2/2010
I just found this story and have read all 57 chapters in one day - loved it. It was a bit hard to get into at first but then it had me hooked. Great story, totally different. Looking forward to the next stage of Black Wolf's life.
| SaintsGhost chapter 20 . 11/1/2010
I hope there's some way dean can escape this horrible fate that has beeen thrust upon him.
| cantspell chapter 2 . 9/11/2010
-WOW-! this story is long, but i've read longer AND this story dose not follow the back drop of the show, but thats ok i've read others that have done the same. this story is well thought out and very well written. i love the First People (indians) that this story uses ( for a reason, hint,hint). i do have a problem with the fact that sam and dean are not together hardly in this story. they are brothers and i like the fact that they are. yes some storys make them slash or different parents to later best friends, or what ever. i'm just not happy with the two of them not together...BUT-HAY, I SAID BUT! this is a GREAT story and i would tell others to read it. i wish all the other readers out there that have read and not reviewd would let ya know how good this story is. YES- the story is good...no it's GREAT. just because it's different then i think it should be or am use to dose not make it a bad story. i'm a frys short of a happy meal but i'm not narrow minded. ok, last time- let me try this again. this is not what or how i exspected the story to be like, but it's still a great story to read. i cant wait for the next you for this story...write on
| supernaturalfangirl8 chapter 51 . 8/9/2010
wow, that took me a really long time to read! it was worth it though! this is really a good story so far and i really hope you update soon! i can't wait to see what happens next!
| cmanndolls chapter 42 . 3/29/2010
I like it, keep it coming. The storyline is interesting and keeps you on your toes. It is well thought out and flows smoothly. I can't wait for the next chapter.
| Sofia2007 chapter 38 . 2/26/2010
I start to read your story a few hours ago ( I often like au don't know why I have this not discovered before)I like it and I feel bad for Dean I would like to know how and as he will go back to his tribe? Will there a reunion with his white family ? I think he changed to much I think He will dont able to live with the with men there is to much pre justice. i hope you will update soon.
| Antonella chapter 25 . 8/22/2009
I just find your fic and I read the first chapters...I like them!
I hope to see you update it very soon!
| annv chapter 24 . 8/4/2009
can't wait for the next chapters to what happens very good writing
| LivingForTv chapter 3 . 6/6/2009
This is a good story. I had anticipated more of a general Supernatural story, but maybe I will see that in a few chapters? Anyway, it's a good story and you write it well, it feels genuine for the time.
| cj chapter 4 . 2/27/2009
I agree with the other two reviews suggesting a beta. The grammar, as well as the overly long paragraphs are making it difficult to read and remain in the story. Reading long paragraphs in a book is one thing but on a computer screen it's hard on the eyes. You need to break it up more.
| NongPradu chapter 3 . 2/21/2009
This is an interesting premise, but John and Mary are almost pathologically mean and stupid - which feels a little bit like overkill. Maybe with a bit of revision, you could show a little bit more of their good side as well, so that they don't come across quite so two-dimensional. Maybe show how out-of-place they feel in the new world, how much they're struggling, how not quite fitting in brings out the worst in Mary?
I think you could also benefit from having a Beta, maybe? As I said, this is a really, really interesting premise, and I'm curious to see where you plan on going with this story. But maybe if you had someone to bounce your ideas off of, to help with the pacing, and occasionally with grammar and word choice (you keep using the word 'carnage' when I think you mean 'chagrin'?).
I hope I haven't offended you or hurt your feelings. It's just that writing fan fiction and getting open reviews can be a real opportunity to learn and grow and improve. And if I didn't feel you could improve, or that this story had no potential (if I thought you sucked and this was hopeless), I wouldn't be offering any suggestions at all. Having said all that, please feel free to e-mail or private message me and I'd be happy to toss out some suggestions.
| casammy.armoasantander019gmai chapter 1 . 2/13/2009
me gusta la idea de su historia, aunq se sale de lo q normalmente es el curso de SNT y los bro, me intriga donde encaja dean como big bro de sammy, x q eso no va canbiar, espero, siempre dean es el big bro sobreprotector de su sammy, aunq esten separados por q de alguna manera la sangre llama a la sangre y dean siempre ha tenido un radar especial para encontrar a sam donde sea q él este, así q podría iluminarnos como entra en acción dean y si él es el big bro de sammy, como fue eso¡ y dónde ésta? y cómo llega hasta sammy?