|Reviews for The Immortal Hero|
| Er wot chapter 4 . 2/7/2018
"Of course they won't turn me away, Tegalad thought with an inward snort. I'm probably going to be like the second coming of Merlin to them."
No-one likes a cocky little brat smugly assured that their presence is a blessing to those around, you supposedly-traumatised torture victim with established low self-worth.
This guy's emotional stability and personality are seriously ping-ponging.
| Er wot chapter 3 . 2/7/2018
Hmm. Harry's behaviour is a little odd. One second he's damaged and skittish (and his agreeing to the very next name suggestion after being frightened by an expression of frustration should have been big warning sign gais!) and the next he's cheeky and defiant. Seems jarring this early into his recovery.
| Er wot chapter 2 . 2/7/2018
I think it's a good idea to leave both versions of this story up. Fans of the old will hate the changes in the new and even those who like both will be gutted to lose what they once enjoyed.
Im on the fence about him losing his magic because it very quickly becomes a 'how is this Harry Potter' fic then. I don't think it's quite there yet but losing his magic does tip the balance a little.
Also, I loved that you had him rendered mute - but then it got healed up half a second later which was disappointing. :D
Hmmm, very big changes early in this version. I'd suggest tightening the wording of the squid attack - it currently reads like Harry pushed the hobbit... and then stepped into the path of the tentacle. Not like he pushed him out of the way and got nabbed instead.
Very tsk tsk at the Fellowship for basically ignoring some random kid on his own outside Moria but maybe they thought he was from a local band of gypsies or something. Still, they didn't even try to talk to him to check.
I'm not familiar with eight year olds but I think that's too old to have legs wrap around an adult in any natural way, especially with limp arms. They're on average 130cm tall by then, according to Google... Not sure. But, it pinged my brain. Eight might be too old for the child you're writing?
| Er wot chapter 1 . 2/7/2018
"I love you", I remember you and nobody else, YOUR death makes my magic rage where it wouldn't even for myself...
For a month and a half girlfriend? Good god. I'm glad she's dead. That was a recipe for disaster for adult!Harry. He lucked out big time.
| Sylphrena33 chapter 15 . 2/6/2018
I loved this story so much! Great job! Great emotion, lots of angst, great character development, and a happy ending too. Wonderful story, thanks for writing it. I look forward to the sequel! :)
| Sylphrena33 chapter 3 . 2/5/2018
Yes, I think a sides story of the Fellowship's thoughts and reactions would be cool. or you could just incorporate them into this story.
| gginsc chapter 15 . 1/23/2018
A very enjoyable story. Loved it.
| Guest chapter 3 . 1/14/2018
Legolas, you make up a lot of pretty boy names. Aragorn, you make up weird ones. I mean, what da hell is Tegalad? Oh well. if Harry likes it then he likes it.
| Guest chapter 2 . 1/14/2018
| KazaHaru45 chapter 15 . 1/14/2018
How do you say awesome if it was multiplied by infinity?
| Lumene chapter 15 . 11/28/2017
Nice, tho if it’s me I think I would have stayed dead. Since as the velar said eternal happiness with his family who waited for him. While no life is perfect when he’s alive. Shit will happens and he has to fight again.
| Jodie chapter 11 . 11/20/2017
Just thought you'd like to know, at the beginning of the chapter when they're talking about Minas Tirith it's not raise you want but raze, which means to destroy/annihilate. :)
| LocoBriar chapter 15 . 10/30/2017
| LocoBriar chapter 12 . 10/30/2017
| pineapple-pancake chapter 15 . 10/22/2017
Thank you Victoria for publishing this story. I love it!
The characters were soo cute and warm. Shadow, Hedwig, Harry, Aragorn... very sweet. I liked the story a lot.
I imagine that eventually Tegalad would tell Aragorn about his past. It is important for them since part of the fellowship got the idea that his uncle torture him (which could be understood like other elfs torture him), which was worth an investigation.
Also, I think that it is Ok for Aragorn to adopt him as his son but Harry just can't be a prince of Gondor, because he doesn't have the blood, and that is what monarchy is about. In this case the blood of Numenor of the kings of Gondor is a big thing in the LOTR. Harry doesn't have any claim of the throne, well unless he conquer it.
The limits of Tegalad's powers were confusing. What I got clearly was that for him using his magic was exhausting, which is a big limitation. But he could fire jump inside Mordor, so why not fire jump to mount doom with the hobbits from that cave they were?